To hate weekends?!

[Fatted]

Every week I always look forward to the weekend. But when it arrives I'm absolutely bloody miserable and I'm already counting down to Monday.

DH and I both work full time. Me Mon-Fri, him Tues-Sat. So on Saturday I'm always on my own with the kids. They are 6 and 4 and I don't know if I have especially high needs kids, but from the moment I wake up they won't leave me alone. They always need help with some, always asking for something. Eldest is being assessed for ADHD at the moment. He is incapable of sitting still or being quiet. I have had to set a timer and tell the boys they can't speak to me for 20 minutes until the timer goes just so I can sit down and drink a cup of tea in peace. DS1 is trying to climb on a chair to get biscuits as I write this.

I'm sick of my entire weekend being a treadmill of eat and tidy up repeatedly, along with house work, shopping, home work, reading and ironing school uniforms. Getting out and doing the shopping with the two of them on my own is so stressful on a Saturday. I have to go today because we need food to eat and DS2 needs a new school bag anyway.

I wish I could describe how hard it feels with them. They just complain about everything. They are never happy to go out on a weekend, even if it is something fun they have asked to do!!

Tomorrow DH and I are having the afternoon off and DC are going to SIL. Even then, it just feels like I have to rush to get everything done in even less time because I don't have the afternoon now. Already I feel like I can't relax and enjoy my weekend.

Even when DH is home on Sundays, it's no different. He is like DS1 in a lot of ways. The kids also mither me more for things than DH.

I just want one weekend where I can actually sit down and relax. Without worrying about the next job on my list. I miss when weekends were fun and we did fun things together.

I still have a stairgate on my kitchen door so I closed that and drank a coffee today while my 2 & 5 year olds stood on the other side watching me

Agree with others who say online shopping. Get it delivered on a Saturday and have the children help put it away.
I really wouldn't bother cleaning on a Saturday, the kids will just mess it up again. Easier for your DH to do it on a Monday when the kids are at school.
Uniforms - I've never ironed a primary school uniform? Isn't it just sweatshirts and polo tops, not proper shirts? Totally unnecessary. Just shake them all out and hang them up as soon as the wash finishes.
Definitely get them into swimming lessons or football or something on a Saturday morning and read a book/have a coffee while you wait!

Mine are busy at school all week, so Saturdays I mostly let them watch TV and play computer games.

Yup. Mine are 7 and 3. Single mum and I have them all morning/evening through the week, and then all weekend, and all holidays. Second after second. Hour after hour, with them either demanding, fighting, whinging or making a mess. I am so depressed, brunt out, exhausted, fed up, hurting all over, sad etc etc.

I took them to the dreaded soft play today just so I could sit with a coffee, breathe and send them off for a bit. They kept running back and hovering around the table pulling my arms, whinging at me "Can I have money for the sweet machines...."can I have a drink"...."I'm too hot".... "I've done it all"... "I'm bored" (after 10 minutes) "I'm hungry".... "can we go now"...

Did food shopping with them whinging and nagging for all the sweet stuff. Lugged it home up the hill with them moaning about walking (don't drive) as soon as we got in the door the demands started "Will you play this, will you get the paints out, can I have a drink, can I have a snack" It was 5 hours until bedtime.

They're having beans on toast with cheese sprinkled on tonight and I don't care!!

I dont think you are a terrible Mum at all ! just an exhausted one run ragged.I think no one understands how relentless it can be ,looking after energetic children when you are working as well ! Maybe do an online shop Thursday evening ? Friday eve maybe quick hoover round /tidy then bath /feet up some wine?.Saturday see if you can find Football/swimming /Anything at all in a club setting ,you can have a nice break with a coffee . Home for beans on toast /sandwiches then a DVD !In nice weather maybe a walk in the park or picnic ?.If rainy have a little time making some little cakes with them ,and the carve yourself an hour with the paper!( tell them Mummy is having her time out !)

& That's not even mentioning the piles of school uniform to wash, dry and iron (have to iron or they just look scruffy to me) - mountain of washing up, everywhere to hoover and bathroom to clean.

I need to wash my own clothes and have a shower at some point.... in the future.

I got a cleaner once I started working after maternity leave and had food deliveries till DD was old enough to go shopping with me and help a bit which she loved.
I would never ever iron her uniform. Considering it looks like it’s been in the trenches after two days, no way I am bothered. It’s the ugliest part of her wardrobe anyway. It’s clean and that’s the end. Save yourself that part, honestly. Go with them to a park, let them paint, draw, tire them up walking, let them be bored a bit, count red cars, find letters on street names, let them loose in a playcentre, stuff them with chicken nuggets, chips and ice cream from time to time. Make Saturdays a special free day with treats and fun.

Can’t really relate. I was on my own with the kids after my divorce, they were aged 5 & 9. No family help whatsoever, just me, 24/7.I did shopping on my way home from work, so the weekends were for a tidy and time together. I enjoyed their company and when I needed a break I’d get them to watch tv for 30-60 minutes (this was before everyone had phones/online gaming).

It’s how you feel, but it is a shame.

I’d echo signing them up for a half day activity and on the other day (when weather permits) take them to the park or for walks as it’ll be good for all of you to stretch your legs.

Maybe I was lucky mine loved each other to bits & didn’t fight (until the older one became a teenager from hell). Kids love routine and structure so having a very set round of things that happen on weekends helps. We’d always have homemade pancakes Saturday, homemade muffins Sunday. Swimming and relaxing at home Saturday, long walks or the museum Sunday. Bedtime exactly the same time. It’s aimlessness that makes a lot of them into pests.

It's tough. In the past it was rate to have 2 parent households working full time.

Online shopping all the way. I despise going into supermarkets after switching. Lower your cleaning standards and try and do as much as possible in the week to keep the weekends sacred. Good luck

I hate weekends, but then again that is because up until recently I have always worked weekends, my DH still does, so they were never really fun. I understand what you mean though OP. I have 2 kids round about the same age as yours and it is constant. Some weekends are ok and we do have fun even if we dont go out anywhere, but this weekend I cant wait until Monday.

I have been on the go since 6:30am. I can absolutely assure you that I do not currently want to be surrounded by washing up, trying to deal with a play date that is overrunning with bedtime for two not-tired DCs looming in a few hours . Doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids and didn’t want them very much. I’d still love a few hours of rest on a weekend but that won’t happen for the next 5 years at least.

OP, it sounds as if visiting your parents was your activity that structured your weekend. Sadly that is not possible at the moment as you say so I would really look for something else to fill the gap somehow.

Yes absolutely. The pros of having kids far far outweigh the difficulties by miles. But it doesn’t mean I have to enjoy every single second of it!

Plus I really didn’t realise that lots of children do not tire easily. I stressing about the play date as the child we have round needs to be in bed by 7. Whereas mine are not tired at all at that time. I naively thought kids went to bed at 7 until they were 10 or so .

Why are you ironing uniforms? I managed to get mine through school without one! It's called easy iron shirts (aka no iron)

I agree, mine are older now but Saturday mornings used to be structured activities, drama, climbing, swimming etc.

When they didn't have classes or swapped interests we used to go for a long walk or cycle etc on Saturday mornings to tire them out. Lunch was out, picnic or cafe or whatever.

Saturday afternoons, less structured but home when tired and then film etc whilst I sat quietly.

Sundays again, out for a long walk, etc. It does get easier. Now mine are teens and don't want to come anywhere with us!

I feel your pain. I just have enjoyable moments, such as now when they are watching telly quietly for a few minutes. I find structure helps. I'm hoping it'll get easier as they get older.

I have saturdays with my 3 girls too. We just have routines. So until 9am they watch tv/iPads or whatever else they are happy to entertain themselves with. At 10am I take the littlest swimming. Come home and we all go out for a walk to the park, library, charity shops ect nothing expensive. Then we are home for lunch. After lunch they all sit at the table(in the kitchen)to do homework whist I bake some things as that's something I enjoy and i can help with homework at the same time. Then by then it's around 3.30ish they all go off again on xboxes ect whist I finish up and then dad gets home at 4.30 and entertains them until dinner. And then the day is done! (Pretty much) and as its usually the same each Saturday they know what to expect. Just really try and structure the day. It's taken me 8 years to really get a good routine but just think about things they enjoy and what you would like and try and work it in. I'm not going to lie I dont think my kids are as hard as some that I've read on here so maybe that's part of it? They do argue ect though and I've just had to sit at the dinner table for 30 minutes after everyone was done to get the 5 year old to eat.

A little thing to help with shopping is to write a list and that really help my girls not hate it quite as much. I also let them use scooters to get to the shops to make it slightly more enjoyable for them.

You work 5 days a week so you are only with your children 2 days a week and all you can say is they moan or want to talk to you? What exactly did you expect? Then to sit silently? I won't comment on the timer thing! Climbing on a chair right now to get a biscuit? I have one on the arm of the sofa and one upside down on a beam as we speak wouldn't have it any other way! Everything you have complained about is normal children behaviour!

Food shop delivered. Have a good tidy on a Friday night so it's clean for the morning.
I don't do homework at weekends 🤷‍♀️ kids spend enough time in school.
Then chill out. Tell the kids to go and play themselves for a while. I will prob get flamed for that, but you can't spend every waking minute jumping to the tune of your children. That's the problem now, kids can't amuse themselves. I don't ever remember my mum playing with me. Maybe she did, but I can't remember it so was probably a waste of her time if she did 🤷‍♀️.
With things your DC need help with, fair enough, but you don't need to amuse them every minute of the day.

I genuinely thought that this is what people who want kids want their lives to be like

What to never have a minute on there own, unless it's while they are at work. Eh, OK then

Can you try and arrange to meet up friends in Saturdays or visit SIL??

I think your DH being home alone Monday doing cleaning is very different to you having Saturday at home with the DC.

It sounds like you aren't getting "alone" time. The more introverted someone is the more they need time without another person there...

I actually feel very strongly that the pressure put on parents (and let’s face it, mothers in particular) to love every second, never complain is really damaging. A good vent helps sometimes, especially if you are also getting advice at the same time. In particular, never getting any time to yourself at all can be very damaging. Doesn’t mean parents are not grateful for or don’t love their children.

I have a cat incidentally. I love my cat deeply and think she is the best thing ever. I am still pissed off when she brings in a mouse or vomits on the carpet (usually after eating a mouse ). I love her so so much but can still complain every so often .