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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are the police being U?

101 replies

WeHaveSnowdrops · 24/01/2020 12:02

Friend "Em" witnessed a crime earlier this week. She gave her name and address to the police and said she'd be prepared to make a statement. They said they'd call round in the next few days. She said to phone first as she has a young family and would need to time it around school hours.

5 to 3 yesterday a knock on her door and two PCs wanted to take her statement. She explained they should have phoned first because she was on her way to collect her DS from school so it wasn't convenient.

The female PC apologised but the male said they could insist. And made as if to go in through the door. She told him to back off as she was not leaving her child with no one to collect him and to phone for a more convenient time. And she shut the door in their faces.

She put her coat on and her youngest in the pushchair and went down to the school. The police car followed her. Once she was there it drove off but they were obviously making sure she was telling the truth.

AIBU in thinking they had a monumental cheek? She thinks she won't bother with the statement now as she's very pissed off.

OP posts:
LetsPlayDarts · 24/01/2020 17:26

@JingsMahBucket - I'm happy you find my willful ignorance hilarious. Try not to stay sad or angry...after all, its friday night and this is an internet forum based on a second-hand story. Well, that is if the OP isn't actually 'Em'.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 24/01/2020 17:29

Can police be expected to run an appointment system? Can you imagine them not turning uo to a crime scene because the victim doesnt have an appointment and/or they were due elsewhere? That said yes the male sounds like he was heavy handed but maybe there were fsults on both sides?

So what if the police had turned up five minutes later when OP’s friend had already left for school? Do they just keep trying on the off chance of catching her in? Complain when they keep going around to find she’s out, haughtily saying ‘We don’t run an appointment system, madam’ if she points out it might make more sense to check first? Wouldn’t it just be easier to make a quick call and say ‘We can come at 11 if that suits?’

I seriously doubt anyone is suggesting that police officers leave a murder scene or a hostage situation because they’ve got to pop to Mrs Armstrong’s to ask about a prowler. But to suggest the police just turn up any time for such routine calls, just in case they might get called to an emergency at the appointed time, is equally ridiculous.

Divebar · 24/01/2020 18:04

I can’t believe it went down as described... not because police aren’t capable of being dicks ( because they can be) but because this is such a trivial matter. I can’t believe they would be that invested in a theft from a motor vehicle that they would lean on some nice reasonable woman who’re they’re using as a witness. I can believe they turned up on the off-chance ( maybe they were passing) but the rest of this dramatic exchange doesn’t seem realistic to me.

JingsMahBucket · 24/01/2020 18:07

@Divebar these are village police, the OP said. She said it's likely also the first crime of the year in their area. So yeah, the police are probably rather invested!

Buster72 · 24/01/2020 18:14

Police can and do offer appointments.

IJustCantDeal · 24/01/2020 18:16

Police don’t do appointments for emergencies (obviously) but anything non emergency they should be able to give appointments

Divebar · 24/01/2020 18:24

They might be police covering that village but if it’s a rural force they’ll be covering absolutely miles. If on some weird off chance they did post 2 officers solely to a village where nothing happens I doubt they would be issued a car. You also have no idea what goes on ..... not all crime is public knowledge ( eg domestic matters ) and not everything police deal with is crime based. ( eg road traffic accidents)

Original poster
WeHaveSnowdrops · 24/01/2020 18:29

They are based at a nearby town. We do have a community officer but he isn't a proper cop. PCSO, I think he's called.

Not a lot goes on here but we did have a problem with teenagers messing with cars and "playing havoc" on their bikes before Christmas. Most of our crime is theft from farms, machinery and livestock.

OP posts:
Auridon4life · 24/01/2020 18:37

Manners are free!

Lucylou321 · 24/01/2020 19:23

Definitely make a complaint about him. Unfortunately like in any job role there are good and bad and it might just be that his line manager needs to remind him of his police powers and his manners! I'm a police officer and would never expect to be able to behave like that nor would I tolerate a colleague doing it. I'm not trying to justify his behaviour because it is unacceptable but it is worth remembering that police officers see the unthinkable and no one knows what that officer might have seen that morning.

As for the question about appointments, the force I work for and my precious force which are both forces covering "the shires" both operate appointment schemes where non urgent things can be covered by appointments. Individual officers can also make appointments to deal with things on their workload such as taking statements so there is absolutely no reason an appointment or rough time couldn't have been arranged.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/01/2020 19:43

it is worth remembering that police officers see the unthinkable and no one knows what that officer might have seen that morning.

This is true. However I've had a lot of contact with fire fighters, nurses, paramedics, social workers, all of whom deal with the same awful things and the same level of violence and I have never seen these behaviours from them.

As I say, I've seen great police work too.

Lucylou321 · 24/01/2020 21:07

As I said there are good and bad in every job role. He's an idiot because he's an idiot not because he's a police officer. It's not really fair to tar us all with the same brush.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/01/2020 21:29

I literally said that I didn't think all police officers are the same. It's the last line of my post Hmm

Original poster
WeHaveSnowdrops · 27/01/2020 09:58

In case anyone wants to know the outcome. Em is giving a statement to the female PC this afternoon at a mutually agreeable time. She asked that the male PC not be there.

She's still not sure about whether to complain. She's been told they have "ways" of making you regret complaining about them.

OP posts:
ProfessorSlocombe · 27/01/2020 10:02

She's still not sure about whether to complain. She's been told they have "ways" of making you regret complaining about them.

That's even more disgusting. Who said that ? Is that a line from a war film ?

user163578742 · 27/01/2020 10:09

That's ridiculous. Just complain. And if that was said by a police officer include it in the complaint.

Original poster
WeHaveSnowdrops · 27/01/2020 10:14

That's even more disgusting. Who said that ? Is that a line from a war film ?

It was said in the pub when she was telling friends about it. Don't think it was a PC who said it.

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 27/01/2020 10:19

Yes they can but its usually sticking to the party line and not really investing anything you have a problem with

My ex had loads of allegations thrown at him by his ex wife the police were unimpressed by him being nowhere near the "incident" and actually being innocent we had to go higher and complain about them because they rang me at almost midnight to tell me he has been involved in an incident in the town centre that morning he was over 300 miles away at the time we didnt even live together he was clearly no where near the town but they still felt the need to ring me up and harange at me so I gave them the barracks number and said crack on they then rang me back to tell me the corporal had told him off and called him out (for a fight I'm assuming) I pointed out I'm not a therapist or his mammy and stop calling Confused

ProfessorSlocombe · 27/01/2020 10:21

It was said in the pub when she was telling friends about it. Don't think it was a PC who said it.

It's all a bit "bloke said" then, isn't it ?

If innocent people, like your friend, have to start thinking like that, then we no longer have a police force in this country. Although if the police are really going around making life difficult for complainants then the pisspoor crime rate is suddenly explained. (That and devoting man-weeks to non-crimes like Harry the Owl)

Equanimitas · 27/01/2020 10:28

Instead she, according to her story, which will be bias

It won't be bias. It might just be biased.

IntermittentParps · 27/01/2020 10:33

I think people should stop tutting about her moral obligation to make a statement and think more about the male officer's attitude.

She should call the non-emergency number and ask them how to log a complaint.

ProfessorSlocombe · 27/01/2020 10:52

I think people should stop tutting about her moral obligation to make a statement and think more about the male officer's attitude.

People like me ?

IntermittentParps · 27/01/2020 11:05

ProfessorSlocombe, on a scan of your posts here, no, I don't think I am talking about you, unless I'm missing your point. (genuine statement, no snark intended).

ProfessorSlocombe · 27/01/2020 11:09

Phrases like "moral obligation" tend to raise my hackles.

Whose morals for a start ?

For various reasons I am a big fan of the rule of law - it's what raises us above the beasts. And the whole point of having laws is to avoid the situation where you need to make everything up as you go along.

IntermittentParps · 27/01/2020 11:16

Professor, I'm not sure what we're arguing about (if we are). My point was that some on here are saying that the witness has an obligation to make a statement, which in their opinion overrides the inappropriate behaviour of the police officer; while I think that there is no such obligation.
I agree with the points in your posts, and particularly the one where you say people in jobs that get to carry tasers and CS spray with access to colleagues with firearms don't get to be "rude and unthinking". If they want to work in that sort of role they can move back to civvy street.

Again, perhaps I'm misunderstanding, but I don't think you and I disagree.

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