EPIDURAL? Help me get it! can any hospital guarantee me one?

[ESEMEF63]

I've had 5 babies before, now with the 6th on the way I'm not prepared to go through birth without an epidural, I know birth and the pain for me is HORRENDOUS!
Problem is I've tried 2 hospitals in Manchester (where I live) and both have the same issue and 'hospital policies'' - wont give me an epidural till at least 5cm, and will only check me every 4hrs, so if I come in too early (as I dont want to miss the epidural either) then they find me 3.5cm open, they wont check me again for 4 hrs and by then i could miss the epidural which has happened past 2 times! I begged them to check again sooner but they wont. Another time, my labour wouldn't progress past 3.5cm for 12 hrs, I was in agony, (really bad back pain & contractions but only 10 mins apart) but they wouldn't even admit me onto the labour ward yet as i wasn't in 'established labour' so couldn't get any pain relief or Gas & Air which I begged for. when I did get onto labour ward the anaesthetist 'wasn't available''........
I'm panicking now, why cant I successfully get an epidural when needed?! Anyone know a hospital with high rates of Epidural given? Should i go PRIVATE? do they have enough experience with epidurals and will they give it earlier on? Maybe I should give birth in Belgium or some other country where I heard it is standard procedure to set you up for epidural soon after arrival!. HELP

Modern trends for approaching childbirth only prove how minuscule of a priority women’s health concerns are to the NHS, government, and, indeed, a misogynistic society.

Hypnobirthing for pain relief, for heaven’s sake. Can anyone think of a predominantly male health concern, which would cause a man to suffer great pain and potentially trauma for hours, or even days, at a time, and everybody would suggest that he use self-hypnosis to alleviate the pain, instead of being given adequate and properly regulated pain relief?

I asked for it to be put on my notes, every time I had an appointment with the MW, GP or consultant I mentioned it again.
When I was in Labour I asked several times if it was time for my Epidural, I was being induced which I suppose may make the process more controlled, at one point the MW said breezily “oh no, I’m sure you don’t need one, you are doing so well. I stopped my gas and air and looked straight at her and asked very calmly but firmly if she was refusing my request for an epidural, if so I would like it noted.
Anaesthetist arrived shortly afterwards .
I told my sil this and she did similar, worked for her too
Obviously if there are genuine medical reasons you can’t have one fair enough, you have to accept that but if you are just being fobbed off insist

That reminds me: I've even thought of getting a private anaesthetist onto the NHS ward but the hospital said they wouldn't allow it....

And by the way Handsoffisback, this has nothing to do with the amount of children I choose to have...........its only because I've had this much experience then I see the short fall of the system, its what many poor women experience with their 1 or 2 kids too....
And Handsoffisback, I'm willing to pay for my treatment too, and my kids go to private schooling too. So I'm not sucking the system.
Question was how would I know private is better... I've gotten some answers.

It cost around £1100 if I remember correctly.

That’s just the anaesthetist.

My sister is about to have a private c-section in the next few weeks. Expected cost is £20k.

Hypnobirthing for pain relief, for heaven’s sake. Can anyone think of a predominantly male health concern, which would cause a man to suffer great pain and potentially trauma for hours, or even days, at a time, and everybody would suggest that he use self-hypnosis to alleviate the pain, instead of being given adequate and properly regulated pain relief?

I found it massively helpful actually. Had DD not got stuck I’d have managed to get her out just with gas and air, tens machine and hypnobirthing. A friend had a hypno home birth with just gas and air.

Depends how much you want to medicalise birth, i guess. The alternative is to “let your monkey do it”.

What hospitals are they out of interest? I was with St Mary's for my first but they were full when I went into labour, as were the other three near me so I ended up at Stepping Hill. Now due my second and have told my St Mary's midwife I want to go back to Stepping Hill because the experience was so good so she gave me their number and I just have to ring them and self refer and I can go there when I go into labour.

May be worth looking into other hospitals policies that are easy for you to get to and then ask your midwife about self referring? Mine was absolutely fine with it and I'll still be under St Mary's care until the actual day but Stepping Hill will have all my notes/records.

But the point is that “try hypnobirthing” should absolutely NOT be the only option offered to women preparing to go through labour. If women’s health was prioritised properly, there ought to be adequate and immediate pain relief of all types on offer for them. As there are in most other developed countries.

Fair enough if you’re happy to “breathe your baby out”, but why should women suffer needlessly when they have made the decision that they want to be relieved of pain?

Of course, the answer is that hypnobirthing doesn’t cost the NHS anything. Because, more often that not, women are the greatest victims of capitalism.

Both my csections were done under a spinal anaesthetic. I don't rate epidurals unless it's done properly, for second DC it kept wearing off and for the section they just wanted to top it up. I could still feel pain and sensation so I was like hell no are you cutting open my abdomen, I demanded (I'm not usually a demanding person) a spinal block which they did reluctantly.

Hypnobirthing for pain relief, for heaven’s sake. Can anyone think of a predominantly male health concern, which would cause a man to suffer great pain and potentially trauma for hours, or even days, at a time, and everybody would suggest that he use self-hypnosis to alleviate the pain, instead of being given adequate and properly regulated pain relief?

I’m a great believer in patient choice, and no great champion of the NHS and the adequacy of its offering, but this is just ill-informed to the point of being wrong.

Hypnosis can be a potent analgesic and even anaesthetic. It can be used for abdominal operations - and is used in the UK - for when patients are unable to have generals or spinals, and sometimes just through choice. Other countries, eg Switzerland, offer it to patients across a range of procedures, not just birth.

For birth, being able to relax and not be in fear and tension greatly reduces pain, to the point where some women don’t get pain. For others it is uncomfortable, but completely manageable and not in any way unbearable. Our minds and mental state greatly influence the pain we feel in any situation. The trauma and pain you refer to are not an inevitable part of labour for everyone.

I’m not suggesting OP - or anybody - should go the hypnobirthing route if they don’t want to. But it’s wrong to suggest it can’t be a very powerful and effective means of controlling, and sometimes eliminating, pain and fear.

Of course, in order to access this hypnobirthing, you usually have to pay for it, so it's not an option for poor women.

Very true, Patellar. I certainly agree that effective treatment of women’s pain in labour is patently nowhere near the top of the NHS priorities.

Of course, in order to access this hypnobirthing, you usually have to pay for it, so it's not an option for poor women.

I think the CDs I used cost less than £25.

I actually think the UK has lots of pain relief options compared to some other European countries...both my cousins in Italy and my friend in Spain had the option of nothing, bouncing on a ball, or epidural.
No gas and air, pethidene, or birthing pools mentioned.

(Not sure if these are hospital specific, regional, or country wide things though)

But was the epidural actually available to them if they wanted, rather than only to the lucky few? And did midwives fob them off when they requested it, and effectively make the decision for them, or did the epidural happen promptly after request, Camomila?

Hire a private midwife to advocate for you.

Well I wasn't fearful or tense when labour started, I fully expected hypnobirthing to work, imagine my disappointment when labour was excruciatingly painful. Personally I believe that hypnobirthing only 'works' for those who were always going to have a manageable level of pain.
I found midwives pretty dismissive of pain, they just jollied me along when I begged for pain relief. I think every woman needs someone to advocate for them (someone experienced, not just a birth partner).

No idea Tollesant but my friend in Spain described the hospital as 'like a prison' and went private for her 2nd! Nothing to do with epidurals as she didn't feel she needed one but the after care was very regimented/old fashioned.

Not sure about my cousins, I think they probably had better care as they are quite rural so gave birth in a smallish/quieter hospital.

Left you "crying inside for years and years" yet you are pregnant with a sixth child?

Why?

You're the reason the NHS can't cope

Interesting shouty first post too OP

Epidurals aren't without their problems OP.

And the planet is in trouble because of the size of the human population