EPIDURAL? Help me get it! can any hospital guarantee me one?

[ESEMEF63]

I've had 5 babies before, now with the 6th on the way I'm not prepared to go through birth without an epidural, I know birth and the pain for me is HORRENDOUS!
Problem is I've tried 2 hospitals in Manchester (where I live) and both have the same issue and 'hospital policies'' - wont give me an epidural till at least 5cm, and will only check me every 4hrs, so if I come in too early (as I dont want to miss the epidural either) then they find me 3.5cm open, they wont check me again for 4 hrs and by then i could miss the epidural which has happened past 2 times! I begged them to check again sooner but they wont. Another time, my labour wouldn't progress past 3.5cm for 12 hrs, I was in agony, (really bad back pain & contractions but only 10 mins apart) but they wouldn't even admit me onto the labour ward yet as i wasn't in 'established labour' so couldn't get any pain relief or Gas & Air which I begged for. when I did get onto labour ward the anaesthetist 'wasn't available''........
I'm panicking now, why cant I successfully get an epidural when needed?! Anyone know a hospital with high rates of Epidural given? Should i go PRIVATE? do they have enough experience with epidurals and will they give it earlier on? Maybe I should give birth in Belgium or some other country where I heard it is standard procedure to set you up for epidural soon after arrival!. HELP

I have never heard of ANYONE being denied an epidural ever aside from if you are so far progressed the baby will be coming in a matter of minutes. I’m in New Zealand though so maybe it’s different?

I’m very much enjoying your use of CAPITALS op. I’m sure someone will come along in a second to tell me how inappropriate this is but I found a planned c section to be like a spa break after a very long very painful first birth where it took weeks for me to be able to sit down afterwards

I'm sure the OP is just brimming with fucks about what someone daft enough to think epidural means not experiencing labour condones.

For the life of me, I cannot understand that if labour leaves you ‘crying inside for years and years’ due to the trauma of the pain, why on earth you got pregnant with a sixth child?! A second I could understand, but six??

Anyway you obviously have the funds for six kids, so go private

The reason that they don’t want to give you an epidural before established labour is that you risk labour stalling (which seems to happen to you anyway so this may make the issue worse), and then needing to give you oxytocin which puts you at higher risk of uterine rupture and haemorrhage, and also increases the likelihood of instrumental deliveries.

I find it extremely difficult to believe however that any decent midwife is ignoring requests to be examined from a woman who haas had several babies before.

I strongly recommend hypnotherapy as a method of coping with the anxiety about the pain. If you admittedly have a very low pain threshold and you sound extremely anxious the techniques can help to try and cope with the anxiety.

What on earth are you going on about, serialtester?

What is ‘nonsense’, exactly?

Wanting adequate pain relief? Wanting not to be further traumatised? How the fuck is that ‘nonsense’?

It is an absolute basic level of care - or would be, were we not conditioned to accept a very low standard in the NHS.

And giving birth and being a woman doesn’t mean you’re not a misogynist.

The OP is already pregnant with her sixth, presumably far enough down the line to have discussed a birth plan too so what use is it asking her why she’s having another baby? She’s already having another baby, the horse has already bolted. If you have nothing constructive to add then why even bother?

If this is your final baby OP, I’d pluck for a c-section. I had one last time and it was fantastic compared to my vaginal deliveries which were just plain traumatic. Takes about a week or two to recover but it’s worth it.

Of course you experience labour with an epidural, but not in the same way since you Can’t feel it!!! There’s a big difference between pushing because of a natural urge to push, and pushing because someone is telling you you need to.

Also 6 children is bonkers and I have no idea how the average person can afford that many with govt help...

I think you need to get someone senior or specialised on your side. Ask who in your hospital deals with birth trauma and ask to see them.

Changing hospitals at this stage is more likely to make you fall through the cracks admin wise and make things worse

I see there are some "original sin" posters here.

OP, if you can afford to go private, I would absolutely do that to ensure that you receive adequate care and pain relief.

Nowhere can guarantee you an epidural, it really isn't possible. Sometimes the blood results/signs of infection make it unsafe. Or if it is left too late and you can not stay still, it is unsafe.

Given the level of trauma you are carrying from previous births, you would be more than justified in asking for a caesarian. But I wouldn't advise going down that road if you are hoping to have more babies as it will increase your risk of other problems if you have more.

Please don't do the reduced movements thing, it is a dangerous game to play and absolutely NOT the right thing for you or your baby. Too high a chance you will still experience an unpleasant labour which could easily result in emcs.

Talk to the doctors about caesarian and weigh up the risks to help you make a decision.

If you have had years and years and years of pain with your other births, why on earth would you have another child when you know you’re going to have to have a baby come out of your vagina, as chances are that’s what will happen. Seriously, think about contraception As years and years of pain for you will be having an impact on your family.

Who's your birth partner? I would be bringing someone who would advocate for me and insist they follow my plan. You are well within your rights- maybe direct them to AIMS guidelines.

An epidural isn't always the solution - my last took nearly an hour to site and before they could insert the drugs I was pushing DD out. I thoroughly credit hypnobirthing techniques for getting me through that hour whilst having to keep completely still.

How will saying you have reduced movements get you more vaginal examinations? It will just increase the chances of being offered induction. Induction doesn't necessarily increase vaginal examinations. Every 4 hours is the recommended gap between examinations in the NICE guidelines unless there are other reasons to examine.

Ignore all the "Women must suffer" posters op

Saying you have reduced movements is not going to make anyone examine you any quicker than the 4hr mark, nor is it going to guarantee you an epidural. What ridiculous advice.
The 4 hr guide is in the NICE clinical guidelines and is to try and cut down on interventions such as instrumental birth and synth infusion, and reduce the incidence of ascending infection which could be introduced by VE.
You can absolutely have morphine/diamorphine dependant on what your trust uses. We just don’t like to give it when you’re near delivery as it suppresses the newborn respiratory system too close to birth, meaning they’re more likely to need resus. Early on, it can be just what women need to get them through early-ish labour.

I had a private birth at the Lindo in London and had to pay beforehand for the anaesthetist to be on call to be there for the epidural. This is even though I didn’t want to have an epidural. In the end I needed a c-section so did make use of it. It cost around £1100 if I remember correctly.

Ask for a c section , everyone has a right to have one

Suggesting a c section to someone who has had 5 vaginal deliveries for no reason other than to get an epidural is a fucking joke.

Thanks for those that went private and told me their experience. Does sound far more in tune there to the woman's needs. And £1,100, not bad at all. (in USA I know it can cost $10K or more) Will make my inquiries...
To those who offered I go speak to consultant, head midwife, birth plans. I've done that past 2 times, not helped a dam. The consultant admitted he cant promise an epidural for me - 'if you give birth in the day more chance of having anaesthetist available than by night'' well i dont get to plan my labour do i?!
Its not just the problem of not wanting to check before 4hrs, that's just one of my stories. With that one, I warned to check myself out (of the hospital) and recheck myself in at the labour ward again (because I was stuck in the anti-natal ward with no gas & air b/c I was 'not in established labour yet'', even with high pain and not slept for a night. Well that got them going, they sent me packing to the labour ward and finally we could get the epidural set up.
Another time, I was labouring intensely in the waiting room for 4 hrs because the rooms were all full, finally gave birth half an hour after getting into the checking in room- without an epidural. (this was a 'quick birth' 6hrs from start) the midwife congratulated me saying 'aren't you glad you managed without an epidural''! I said NOOOOOO!
not glad to have gone through the pains- not at all glad!
I dont want a C-section, whats the use of cutting me when i have V opening for baby !?
Just give me that epidural at the right time....even interventions such as instrumental birth and synth infusion forceps due to too early epidural must be safer than C-section.

£1100 is just the anaesthetist fee...

As mine was private the whole pregnancy and birth I’m not sure if you can book just the private epidural part or if you need to book private birth. The epidural was around £1100 but the entire cover with pregnancy and c-section was over £24k. You would have to enquire how it works and if you can pay privately to guarantee an epidural with NHS birth