AIBU 13 year old son no mobile in bedroom

[mrshoho]

Been told I'm the worst mum ever and that no one else he knows is not allowed to have their phone at bedtime. He's really pushing it and dh just went in and yelled at him as he was stomping about. DH has to be up at 5.45 am everyday. Getting fed up of this battle but I know he's shattered and needs to sleep. My Son is waffling on how unfair his life is blah blah blah. I've told him to read or listen to the radio. What happens with your teens?

Its fine to remove a 13 yos phone if they cant be trusted, my 13 to is great at self regulating so I dont have to. Definitely not ok to be taking a 17yos phone away so what if they're tired?? Surely that's their problem

Re Netflix yes my 13yo watches in their room on their tv so it's not secretive but we openly chat about what he watches etc. What is it you're worried about on there?

No phones or any other Internet devices in our bedrooms. My DS is 14. Phone is handed over at 8pm term time.

My 13yo DS has to put his phone in my room overnight and as an added measure in case he ever "forgets" (which he doesn't tbf) I have an app on it where I can set usage times. Same on his computer. By all means show your DS this - its way more common than he thinks, no matter what his mates tell him!

14 year olds phone taken away and put on charge in spare room at 9.30. He has it from after school until then which is plenty long enough.

We have a 13 and a 15 year old. Both reluctantly give us their phones at bedtime otherwise they'd be on them all night, especially the 13 year old.

Mine have always had them, never been an issue as they love their sleep. Both adults now, still regularly are asleep before me

No WiFi after 8.30pm here

No phones or internet devices upstairs ever.will have to relent next year and let dd13 have her laptop upstairs for homework as ds starting year 7 and he'll get her kitchen homework spot. At that point I'll make them their own internet /wifi that goes off at ten. Phones still won't be allowed upstairs. We sorted the music issue with a Google mini in each room.

My thirteen year old was never allowed their phone overnight. I really sympathise with you as I was made to feel like I was doing the worst thing in the world. Often told I was the only parent who would do something like that(!)

My youngest is now at this stage but thankfully will leave their phone willingly as they love their sleep so much!

All phones downstairs to charge overnight. Qustodio or family link controls too. If you think you child might sneak down and take it back, there are bigger issues! Reading or radio in bed after 9pm . DC's 14 and 12.

My dd(17!) and Ds(16) have to leave their phones in our room overnight from 10pm during the week. Weekends I'm more relaxed but mine are older teens - DD will be 18 this year. I know that her closest friends all do similar, but judging by how often their phones ping if they forget to turn them off there are loads of kids with unchecked access!

My 13 yo doesn't get to have any electronics (apart from Alexa so he can listen to music) upstairs at all. Wi fi to his laptop and phone turns off between 8pm and 7am, phone has to be handed over. He is rubbish at self regulating

It's interesting how many people on here don't allow phones in bedrooms overnight. I don't either and my DD13 thinks I'm really mean.

So I went to work (secondary teacher) and asked all my classes. The vast majority of kids I teach are allowed their phones overnight. It averaged out as 2 per class who weren't allowed. LOADS of kids have their phones in their bedrooms, but no one's admitting it on here

This rule is the only reason that my DD a) gets enough sleep, and b) still reads books. It's staying!

No phones at night here either for anyone.

And if there was sneaking down to get it, the consequences would be severe. They simply wouldn't dare

@IHeartKingThistle

It's possible that the children were not being truthful.

Anyway, we have the same rule; not only pertaining to phones, but no electronic devices plugged in overnight in bedrooms. Their presence is not conducive to a good night's sleep.

In practice, the younger kids (5-13) don't have TVs, games consuls etc in their rooms at all. They are all kept downstairs. Eldest son (22) makes his own arrangements.

I agree Justcly, listening to ds and his friends playing online, none of them seem to admit what they are off to do and I'm sure none of them are truthful about the time their parents send them to bed, or their device access

@justcly well yeah, obviously but there's absolutely no way that the majority of kids have their phones taken away at night. If they did, my job would be a lot easier!

DD has her phone in her bedroom overnight, but has the Google Family Link app installed.
I can set bedtimes, daily limits for apps, time to take a break from the phone etc. I can also turn her phone off from mine, if she's not getting on with homework.

DS gets a ridiculous amount of screen time compared to many friends so it's not with smugness that I say: no way does he get the phone or tablet in his room after a certain time of night. It's just too intrusive for sleep. I don't use the phone in bed either for the same reasons. He's allowed to stay up ridiculously late, though, as long as it's for reading, so he's not exactly hard done by

Almost 13 year old in our house. All devices off at 8pm, I tried trusting her to abide by it but she didn't so now Google Family Link physically locks her phone/tablet for me at 8pm. The only thing she can do with them after that is call me!

Thanks for the replies and I'm glad it's the norm. I don't bring my own phone up for the same reason. He's really not hard done by despite what he thinks but he has really ramped up the 'entitled' attitude lately. Much to his annoyance I reply calmly (mostly) 'When you are grown and paying for your own place you can do exactly as you please'.

I showed him this thread after school reminding him that we wouldn't be having any more late night arguments re phones. He was disgusted and said 'Please do not discuss me in an online social site and mum you are such a Karen you are such an embarrassment' I guess my job as a parent is done And sorry to any Karens, I have many friends called this but apparently this is a teenage thing 🙄

I actually wouldn't say it's the norm in RL, just on MN as I saw on another thread that people even police their 18 yos internet time which is ridiculous and way OTT but that doesnt mean you are unreasonable given the fact he is still 13. Not something I would do myself as I prefer to teach them to self regulate and earn trust but some just arent ready for that at 13.

kids lie. And unsupervised phone access at night a) stuffs up sleep and b) gives them lots of chances to see porn.

take it away and take it away longer each time he throws a strop like a toddler. No-one should have a mobile phone in a bedroom anyway, they should be downstairs and OFF.

13 Yr old no phone upstairs at night time. No she doesn't sneak down and get it because she is asleep.

Dis phone locks at 6.30pm so he can’t use it after then.
Also no phone upstairs ever.
Now does your son want to move in with us ???? You now look like the mother of the year x