"It also really gets to me how people clump disability together as one condition. What one person with a disability could easily do, another can't."
Definitely this - disabled people are a huge variety, and thus how much (if any) caring is needed will also vary hugely. And what counts as caring varies - I do most family admin (DH is severely dyslexic and takes half an hour to send an email I can do in 2 minutes), he ends up doing most cooking and getting kids ready for bed while I rest - more than he'd do if I didn't need rest, but nothing that he wouldn't do a fair bit anyway. Is that 'care'?
@Amortentia I have PIP so that letter gets me a free 'carer' to many theatres etc, despite usually not needing them - DH makes a joke of putting on the Special Care-wing Voice if he comes, though usually I get any friend who wants to come and split the price. Of course if we're up in the gods and I get hit by vertigo and he has to carry me to my seat, I get 'told you so'.
But if I'm with my mum and I ask for the advertised disabled discount, then they assume first I'm her carer, and then that she's mine, and it's impossible to not get the discount applied to both of us. Though as it simply means more cash to spend in the venue's cafe, I figure it balances out.
It's theme parks that annoy me, because I'd like to take dcs. But I can't stand for long. I can bring a carer but that doesn't help me - what I'd need is a queue-jump pass for say four rides. I do have a DC with DLA including mobility, so qualifies for queue-jumps because they assume he can't queue because of his autism. Actually he'd be fine queuing with a book but doesn't want to come, but the others don't have mobility with their DLA. Chessington etc used to be more flexible but they say there was lots of abuse of the system. They did give us free day passes a couple times when DC had a broken bone, so there's some reasonableness there, but I find even airports struggle 'can't stand, can walk' - got asked at a plane gate recently 'you need wheelchair?' and said I didn't - and later told that I shouldn't skip the line because I'd turned down special assistance... (this wasn't UK, where the staff told me to walk past queues and wave a sunflower lanyard if questioned)