Is tickling cheating?

[Nips01]

Hi

This is not a TAAT, but inspired by one I started

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3796316-AIBU-weird-game-at-Hen-Party

In a nutshell: I was at a hen party where the girls played a version of Twister where they were tickled in various spots by a semi naked (and gorgeous!) butler in the buff.

So the latest update is that photos have ended up on Facebook and as a result one of the girls bfs has accused her of cheating because she let this guy tickle her. She admitted it was fun but her defence is it was just a game, there were plenty of other people around etc. The guy did ask everyones consent etc and people seemed happy to play. The hens were mostly in PJs and the guy in just boxers. This particular hen can't remember where she was tickled but the spots on the game included feet, bum, sides, knees etc.

Bf is basically saying that being willingly tickled by another man, even as part of a game, is cheating and considers it a violation of their relationship.

I'm not taking sides as I'm friends with both of the couple, but would be interested to know what people think. Is tickling / being tickled by a close friend any different to a stranger? Does wearing PJs etc make it any difference? The fact it was "public" and not just two people in a room together make it any better? I have certainly got into tickle fights and stuff with guys when I was younger and always considered it flirting, at the very least.

Thoughts please ladies!

I had a butler in the buff hand feed me cake while my partner sat at the bar occasionally looking over and rolling his eyes! Neither of us class this stuff as cheating tbh, I’d find it bizarre if he did!

not my scene, but as it was a game with plenty of people taking part i say not cheating

if it was a one-on-one, or secluded then i would say cheating (close physical contact)

Of course it’s not cheating! The bf who said that does not know the meaning of the word cheating.

I think the bf knows full well what cheating is - and isn't - and is deliberately overreacting and being a controlling prat.

Your friend needs to finish with him before she gets drawn in any further to his toxic nonsense. She will end up going nowhere and seeing nobody because he has 'trust issues'; perhaps even the sort that require texts and photos evidencing where and with whom she is.

Depends on what you

Unless he was tickling her noonie (sorry) then how the hell is that cheating

Not cheating but disrespectful, i dont think id be happy with it. Tickling someones arse isnt exactly innocent and i think people being in PJs and underwear makes a difference, depending what you class as PJs. Theres a difference if you're in a midweek lounge type PJs where you just wanna be careful or if its sexy underwear as theres a difference in amount of skin to skin contact.

Who would post hen pics online?!

They say the definition of cheating is whatever would make your partner uncomfortable. But I get it was not sexual and the poor girl probably didnt want to look a prude or party pooper!
Fair ground to be annoyed but get over it...

It's not cheating but it's bloody weird.

It's silly but not cheating.

It's not cheating. Just don't put it on fb.

I'm sure most people would say it's not cheating, but I also believe many people would not be comfortable with their partner doing this, and for some (like yours) it would be a deal-breaker. I guess it comes down to the relationship rules you've negotiated. And if you haven't negotiated rules, or don't have a clear idea of your partner's insecurities, now would be a good time to get clarification. Once you know, you can decide whether or not his preferences and yours are compatible.

Not cheating as such but if she knows her BF well she should have been aware that he wouldn't approve and not taken part. If she knew he'd object and still took part because 'its only a bit of fun' then he should reassess the relationship as she doesn't respect him. I'm sure she'll find someone who thinks strippers male/female are fun.

Its fairl tame even for a Hen party - he is being ridiculous. There was clearly no secrecy, no sexual contact are you telling me he has never even looked or touched anothr woman even just platonically held an arm, knocked against someone - I think she has bigger issues in that he is a control freak telling her what she can and can't do and what is and isn't acceptable behaviour

If my husband was tickled by a mostly naked woman I'd be a bit pissed off but wouldn't say it was cheating.
In my twenties there was a large group of us who used to do stupid stuff like tickling each other but we were fully clothed so a bit different.
If her boyfriend sees it as cheating then that's how he sees it. She can't change his mind but does sound a bit OTT.

As a general rule, I wouodnt call that cheating. But it would go over some boundaries for me.

HOWEVER, there are many other things going on with hen do, incl some striptease etc... that are much imo.

It's not cheating but it's inappropriate and he's allowed to be pissed off. It's flirting in a very involved, tactile way.

I find tickling gross and fucking annoying. Why on earth is that a game 💁🏼‍♀️

Did the young student (who is presumably working in this tacky job to fund uni as detailed on the other thered) consent to having these images taken and posted on social media?

If my partner was tickled by a semi naked stripper I’d hit the fucking roof.
Maybe not ‘cheating’ per se but certainly inappropriate.

Yup, agree with this

I find the whole idea of strippers ick, personally. But each to their own.

Would he be cheating if a stripper gave him a lap dance at a stag do?

I think it’s really grim

I think this is really weird.

I would understand if it was a random guy at a party or in a club that his girlfriend had started chatting to, but this man was being paid to entertain a hen party?! I would think nothing of it at all!

If my partner was tickled by a semi naked stripper I’d hit the fucking roof.
Maybe not ‘cheating’ per se but certainly inappropriate.

I honestly wouldn't care about this. It's not like they would have met someone and been flirting and it was escalating, it's just someone doing their job at a stag/hen and a group of people having a laugh??

Bibidy

The employment angle makes it seedier, to my mind. It pushes it into the area of exploitation. I would be unhappy about my husband doing that, and I would expect him to be unhappy with me doing that.