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Original poster

Should I invite old teacher to my wedding?

97 replies

ConkerGame · 20/01/2020 19:36

I’m getting married later this year and am considering inviting my old teacher to my wedding but want to check first it’s not weird! They were my favourite teacher at secondary school, invested a lot of time and effort into helping me with my studies and had a lasting impact on my life and career. I’m also inviting quite a few friends from my year at school so they would have a few people there that they might know/remember. However we are no longer really in touch and haven’t spoken in about 10 years so the invite would come a bit out of the blue!

Do you think they would be touched or would they find it very weird?!

OP posts:
newbingepisodes · 20/01/2020 20:47

I invited two teachers to my wedding but I stayed friends with them after school - so I had a good relationship with them it wasn't just an out of the blue invite.

DieDeutschLehrerin · 20/01/2020 20:49

Two of my former teachers came to the evening part of our wedding. I had seen them since leaving school but not regularly and my parents word speak to them when they saw them. I think they thought it was nice. They came anyway 😁

Rubixcuube · 20/01/2020 20:50

Whilst the sentiment is nice, it’s OTT. I think inviting a teacher to a wedding is probably quite strange as it crosses the line between professional and social. They knew you in a professional and more formal capacity and your wedding will be the polar opposite, ie social with all of your family and friends.

Again the gesture is nice but yes it is quit weird. More so as it’s been 10 years 😳 sweet thought though and best of luck

AlexaShutUp · 20/01/2020 20:50

For what it's worth, my father recently contacted one of his old secondary school teachers after getting his details from a classmate. My father is in his eighties and the teacher is in his nineties, and they hadn't been in touch for over sixty years.Grin

The teacher still remembered my dad, and they spoke on the phone for over an hour. A couple of months later, my parents drove halfway across the country to go and have lunch with him. He was absolutely delighted to see my dad and reminisce about old times, and even dug out some old photos of my dad and his classmates.

Original poster
ConkerGame · 20/01/2020 20:54

Wow @Alexa that’s incredible that he remembered him after all those years!

OP posts:
Chocolatelover45 · 20/01/2020 20:56

No harm in sending an invitation, they can always decline if they don't want to come. You know what the person is like - that will determine whether they want to attend. Even if they don't, I'm sure they would appreciate hearing from you

AlexaShutUp · 20/01/2020 20:58

Wow @Alexa that’s incredible that he remembered him after all those years!

Yes, I thought it was amazing, too. My dad said his memory was incredibly sharp, and he remembered lots about the whole class!

spongejack · 20/01/2020 21:01

Weird

Skyejuly · 20/01/2020 21:03

Lifes too short...if you want them their then invite them!

Skyejuly · 20/01/2020 21:03

There*

SignOnTheWindow · 20/01/2020 21:04

I have been to the weddings of 2 ex-students. So delighted and touched to be asked and I have to admit I shed a tear or two.

It's absolutely lovely when old students get in touch to let me know about their big life events. I just love seeing them thrive and be happy.

OVienna · 20/01/2020 21:07

Not freakishly weird. IMO. Only a tiny bit. Forgivably weird.

BackforGood · 20/01/2020 21:09

Definitely weird.

This is a lovely idea though

Why not have a group photo of you and your schoolfriends at your wedding and send it to your old teacher. Say you were all reminiscing and you wanted them to know how much you appreciated the time and effort they gave you. A lovely note, update and an wedding photograph will be more welcome than an out of the blue invitation.

Certainly getting back in touch to thank them for their influence and let them know how you are getting on, is lovely, but just inviting them to your wedding out of the blue is incredibly odd.
Funerals are different - that is about acknowledging the influence they had and much more normal Smile

CarrieBlue · 20/01/2020 21:16

I’m a teacher and I’d love to be invited to an ex-student’s wedding - it’s a lovely idea.

1300cakes · 20/01/2020 21:18

If you had been in touch the whole time yes, not been in contact for 10 years, no. Also it would make it a bit weird for your old school mates who'll know them but may not have been as close as you, and will have to spend the whole night with them.

Do KC225s idea, that sounds lovely.

lisag1969 · 20/01/2020 21:22

I'd invite them and just put a little note in saying I know I haven't seen you for a long time. But I wanted to let you share in my celebrations and for you to see how happy and successful my life is.
You played a great part in this thank you x

Marellaspirit · 20/01/2020 21:27

I can understand where you're coming from, I had an amazing teacher in secondary school who had a massive impact on me.... If it wasn't for her I would never have made it through school. I probably wouldn't have bothered turning up most days. We stayed in touch for a couple of years after I left, and I bumped into her in the supermarket once, but I've not seen her in over 15 years now.

A few years ago I felt like I needed to contact her to thank her properly for all that she did for me and to let her know how my life had panned out in the end. I sent her a message via Facebook, and she replied with a lovely message in return-how she remembered me, how she was glad things had worked out and that she had always known that I was stronger than I gave myself credit for.

I would have liked to have stayed in touch and if we had I could totally imagine inviting her to my wedding... But so much time has passed now it would just be weird for that to happen!

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 20/01/2020 21:27

I’m a lecturer, and tend to keep in touch with ex students on Instagram after they graduate (never while they are current students). I haven’t yet been invited to a wedding, but often get sent photos of babies, and regularly meet former students for lunch/coffee/glass of wine. Just this evening a girl got in touch to tell me she has been offered her first “proper job” and thanking me for all I taught her! I might find it a bit unusual after ten years, but I would be really touched to be thought of.

sam221 · 20/01/2020 21:28

One of my siblings invited their headteacher to their wedding, after many years of no contact. The head had been particularly good at keeping kids who would otherwise go off the rails on track and was a massive influence in my siblings life outcome.
The head came, they all caught and had a lovely time, so invite away!

Catrescue1971 · 20/01/2020 21:47

I'm a teacher and I would be really touched if an ex-pupil asked me.

superram · 20/01/2020 21:51

I think it’s weird but am hoping it’s me-and yes I’d come!

MutedUser · 20/01/2020 21:58

Creepy and weird. Especially when you have not had any contact for over 10 years.

Babynumber2dueNov · 20/01/2020 22:06

What’s the worst that can happen?! You let someone who works their socks off know that they were that important in your life that you’d like them there to share your day! Go for it ❤️

shiningstar2 · 20/01/2020 22:12

I am so glad that after page 1 of this thread lots of people have come on to say that they've either invited teachers or that they are teachers and would be delighted with an invitation.

I am a retired teacher and I have recently been invited to the wedding of one of my ex pupils. I am delighted to hear how well their life has turned out and very touched to have been invited. I am very much looking forward to the day Smile

AlexaShutUp · 20/01/2020 22:24

*Me too. I was beginning to wonder if my lovely teacher, rather than feeling valued because I had wanted to acknowledge her importance on my special day, actually just thought I was a freak!