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Original poster

Should I invite old teacher to my wedding?

97 replies

ConkerGame · 20/01/2020 19:36

I’m getting married later this year and am considering inviting my old teacher to my wedding but want to check first it’s not weird! They were my favourite teacher at secondary school, invested a lot of time and effort into helping me with my studies and had a lasting impact on my life and career. I’m also inviting quite a few friends from my year at school so they would have a few people there that they might know/remember. However we are no longer really in touch and haven’t spoken in about 10 years so the invite would come a bit out of the blue!

Do you think they would be touched or would they find it very weird?!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 20/01/2020 19:58

I think the photo idea sounds really nice.

Original poster
ConkerGame · 20/01/2020 20:03

Thanks, I’ll definitely send a message/send a photo. We did keep in touch for a few years after I left university so they definitely know remember me and I suspect they also know they’ve had a big impact on my life. Won’t hurt to tell them though and give them an update on our class!

OP posts:
BinningTheBooze · 20/01/2020 20:07

Weird!!

Mandarinfish · 20/01/2020 20:08

I think it would be nice! Looks like I'm in the minority though.

Wolfiefan · 20/01/2020 20:12

I think that’s really lovely actually. They can always decline if they don’t feel they can attend. I would be delighted to know an ex student was happy.

Notborisjohnson · 20/01/2020 20:14

I clicked on this thread thinking you were marrying your childhood sweetheart from school. and I was going to say if the teacher remembers you both very well - then invite them Grin

But what you actually said is totally WEIRD.

Sorry

Blackbear19 · 20/01/2020 20:15

I think it's a bit weird!

If I was the teacher I'd be thinking you no pals and scraping the barrel to make up the numbers for a big wedding.

But I do think that the photo idea is lovely.

UnaCorda · 20/01/2020 20:16

Well I must be seriously weird as I left school nearly thirty years ago and have twice been to stay with a former teacher, had lunch with another a couple of years ago, am regularly in touch with a further two or three on Facebook, and have just sent another flowers for her 70th birthday (and received a lovely thank you card). That said, I haven't invited any of them to a big occasion and ten years is a long gap without any contact in the interim.

Tubdoi · 20/01/2020 20:16

Not wierd at all . Nice

Tubdoi · 20/01/2020 20:18

I actually went to my other half’s former teachers funeral with him . They hadn’t been in touch for many years but his former teachers family were very receptive and Pleased that he had attended . I don’t see why inviting old teachers to a wedding is wierd at all . It’s nice as and means that the teacher has clearly touched this students life in some way .

SunshineCake · 20/01/2020 20:20

Not at all weird. I'd put a note in explaining why you would like them there and what they meant to you. More likely to get a response and a yes.

SunshineCake · 20/01/2020 20:23

How can someone say a photo would be more welcome as if it is a fact they know is ridiculous.

So much better to send a note and an invitation and a polite no thank you than send the photo and discover they would have loved to have been there.

Blackbear19 · 20/01/2020 20:27

The photo would need to go with a letter. Not just randomly appear.

I honestly couldn't imagine going to the wedding of somebody I last heard from 10 years ago. Know nobody and feel a bit Confused

Sundancer77 · 20/01/2020 20:29

I’m surprised most people think it’s really weird!
I think it sounds nice, the teacher obviously had an impact on your life in such a positive way, as a fellow teacher, I’d be really touched and would love to attend, especially if there were more of my old students going too 🤷‍♀️

Pardonwhat · 20/01/2020 20:31

I think perhaps it depends on the intimacy of the school? It wouldn’t be weird IMO to see an old school teacher at a school friends wedding from my school.

jeanne16 · 20/01/2020 20:32

As a teacher, I would love to be invited to an ex pupil’s wedding.

Bibijayne · 20/01/2020 20:32

Not weird if you still have some level of contact with them :) it's all about your own personal context.

thetwinkletoescollective · 20/01/2020 20:33

It really does depend. I had a particular A level class that I loved spending time with. I had such an affection for them that a lot of them came to my wedding. If any of them invited me to their wedding I would go and it wouldn’t be weird. And it’s been 12 years.

redcarbluecar · 20/01/2020 20:37

I'm a teacher and was invited to a former student's wedding a few years ago. I was FB friends with him, and with a few other people I'd taught around the same time, but wasn't in close personal contact other than that. I didn't think it was weird - I assume he wanted to invite people who he felt had been a positive influence on his life? I agree with PP who have suggested including a note explaining the reason for the invite. And say that they can bring a partner or guest if they won't know anyone well.

AChickenCalledDaal · 20/01/2020 20:37

I invited a former music teacher and a former youth worker to my wedding, although in my case it was more like five years since I'd seen them, not ten.

One came and spent the evening apparently happily reminiscing with my school friends. The other sent a lovely letter and a clock that is still on my study wall 25 years later. If I was weird, so be it!

alohamore · 20/01/2020 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlexaShutUp · 20/01/2020 20:42

Well, I guess I'm weird then, because I did invite one of my old teachers to my wedding. Similar story to yours, OP. She was my favourite teacher and had had a significant impact on my life which I wanted to acknowledge in some way. The wedding was around 9 years after I left school. I had kept in touch by letter for the first couple of years (before the days of email and social media!) but had gradually lost touch after that.

I hope she didn't think it was weird, and that she instead saw it as a mark of the respect that I still felt for her after all those years. Either way, she came, and it was lovely to have her there!Smile

TheReluctantCountess · 20/01/2020 20:43

Do it! I’ve been invited to the weddings of ex-students. It’s lovely to know that we are still thought about.

AlexaShutUp · 20/01/2020 20:43

Just to add, she brought her DH as well, and I did explain the reason for the invite!

MindYours · 20/01/2020 20:46

I'm in the Not Weird club! Send the invite