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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with getting told off every time I go to the dentist?

307 replies

ElderAve · 20/01/2020 16:50

I'm 50 this year and I don't have any fillings. There's nothing wrong with my teeth. I eat a balanced diet hardly any sweets and no fizzy drinks (main because I've never liked them). I'm also probably just a bit lucky with my teeth.

I brush regularly but find flossing really uncomfortable so rarely do it. I see the hygienist three times a year to get rid of any build up.

Every time I go to the dentist or the hygienist, I get another lecture about brushing and flossing. I know technically it's just advice but the tone is definitely "telling off".

Really, I'm a 50yo adult who's teeth are in remarkably good condition, I can't be getting it that badly wrong. And if I do have any failings, I pay these people handsomely to deal with it!

Actually, by this stage in life, I'm not at all convinced such regular visits are necessary, but obviously no dentist is going to tell me that.

OP posts:
UYScuti · 22/01/2020 13:23

Another vote for the waterpik, I use mine three times a day 😁

BlackCatSleeping · 22/01/2020 13:28

For some dentists, I think the song from Little Shop of Horrors is definitely apt!! 😂

Mumgonenuts2020 · 22/01/2020 17:04

Mycatismadeofstringcheese

the Water glosser Sounds great is it like one of those suckers that the hygienist uses, I could only see one £60.00 on amazon but I shall have another look..

Mumgonenuts2020 · 22/01/2020 17:05

flosser 😄

UYScuti · 22/01/2020 17:14

Mumgonenuts2020
it's not a sucker it's a squirty thing:o

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 22/01/2020 21:54

Yeah, I'd be interested to see any robust evidence that flossing improves dental health, there are plenty of medical interventions that used to be advised till research showed they had neutral or even adverse effects.

I always feel like the floss is just pushing gunk further into my gums.

Scott72 · 22/01/2020 22:03

My teeth are in a fairly poor state due to chewing gum too much for too many years. It seems obvious in hindsight that this is going to wear the enamel off your teeth, but the damage is done. They really need to put a warning label on chewing gum packets about this.

Anyhow my normal dentist can't help but express his disappointment about my teeth. Subtle but detectable, with him going often going "tch tch tch" with his tongue. He wasn't available when I needed urgent treatment, so I had to find another dentist. This new dentist is kind and non-judgmental. The difference is light and day. I think I may go to this new dentist from now on.

Summerlovin24 · 22/01/2020 23:00

I agree. Never forget when I cycled to my dentist and had a filling aged 38. First one since aged 20. Got a lecture about healthy eating and fizzy drinks whilst his morbidly obese dental nurse stood there listening.I am a size 8/10 stood there clutching my bike helmet. Moved home luckily... and dentist soon after

Mrssporranburn · 22/01/2020 23:11

I agree! With links to heart disease and now alzhiemers it's now more important that people look after their oral health. They people on this thread should take a long hard look at their profession and see how they'd feel if if was berated in this way. I'm shocked! Plus, don't go to the hygienist if you don't want to hear the truth! No one is forcing you!

C8H10N4O2 · 22/01/2020 23:30

They people on this thread should take a long hard look at their profession and see how they'd feel if if was berated in this way

If my clients felt patronised and belittled by the way I advised them I'd take a long hard look at how I was expressing myself that the bad communication was getting in the way of the message.

sessell · 23/01/2020 00:13

I appreciate my dentist's advice. Not sure I care about or notice the tone. I do want to keep my teeth and gums in good order and avoid heart disease and dementia - related to gum disease. It is one of the few opportunities to get preventative health advice that's completely personalised. Why would you resent or ignore it?

Oliversmumsarmy · 23/01/2020 00:15

I agree! With links to heart disease and now alzhiemers it's now more important that people look after their oral health

So why tell people off and put them off going to the dentist in the first place.

1Morewineplease · 23/01/2020 00:28

My dentist told me that I didn’t need to see him every six months and that I only needed to see the hygienist in between.
Oh the pain of a scale and polish!!! My dentist used to do them no problem but the hygienist causes such pain. I haven’t been back for years. Terrified. The last time I saw my dentist I told him how I felt. He said to grin and bear it. I even overheard another patient at reception say that he didn’t want to see the hygienist any more because they hurt.
I wouldn’t mind but our dentist is private and I pay a monthly fee! Just too scared now .

managedmis · 23/01/2020 00:52

He said to grin and bear it. I even overheard another patient at reception say that he didn’t want to see the hygienist any more because they hurt.

^

I had this. Felt like head had been scraped out with one hygienist. Really painful, had to take paracetamol afterwards. I complained to the dentist about her, and you know what? EVERY time I call to make an appointment, the receptionist /secretary tells me 'oh yes, there's a note on your file to only have certain OTHER hygienists'. As if I'm some major freaking dentist horror trouble maker, not wanting the nasty lady butchering her mouth again!

Wtaf

Ellapaella · 23/01/2020 07:51

Your teeth might be ok (now) but if you don't floss or clean in between your teeth then your gums could be in pretty manky condition. That's probably why your dentist is telling you off. You could well have a degree of gum disease which can eventually lead to bone loss so I'd probably try and take their advice personally.
My dentist doesn't recommend floss though - I use the little interdental brushes that they recommended.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 23/01/2020 08:34

It’s too simplistic to say that if you brush and floss properly, your teeth and gums will be in good condition.

I do that and see the hygienist every three months but there is still plaque, despite the hygienist telling me I brush properly. I use interdental brushes, an edge brush and electric toothbrush. My teeth cleaning takes about ten minutes each time.

A lot of it, as with other conditions, is to do with genetics.

Elphame · 23/01/2020 09:36

They people on this thread should take a long hard look at their profession and see how they'd feel if if was berated in this way

If I treated my clients the way some dentists feel they have a right to I’d have been on a disciplinary for it.

In my experience though it’s the British trained dentists who have the worst attitude. I’ve had much better experiences with many of the foreign trained dentists who are far less patronising and rude. My current one is Spanish trained and we get on fine as he does his checks and lets me go!

Maybe it’s the BDA that needs to take a long hard look at itself?

beguilingeyes · 23/01/2020 09:41

Seems to be a bit of a thing. I dread the hygienist way more than the dentist because I always get the lecture.

Bitesizedsnacks · 23/01/2020 10:02

I’ll go a little off topic here, but there is a lot of misinformation about gum disease; many patients (and dental professionals for that matter) don’t understand the nature of the disease they’re trying to manage, and hence there is confusion about what you’re actually trying to achieve with oral hygiene.

Apologies in advance for what may be seen as a scientific ‘ lecture’ and a ridiculously long post, but I genuinely believe that knowledge of the science is crucial to tackling gum disease, and making it clear that what you do at home is the crucial factor in managing the disease.

Basically we all form plaque on our teeth, which is full of microorganisms - that is a normal process, and scientists have a name for such collections of previously free-floating organisms; a ‘biofilm’. A plaque biofilm that forms in your mouth, and is less than a day old, is not really going to have much harmful bacteria in it. However the longer these biofilms are left undisturbed the more complex they become, and the more types of bacteria start to live in them, and these produce toxins.

We each have an individual threshold for when our body recognises these bacteria and toxins as a threat, and when this does happen, our immune systems fire up and start a process to tackle these; this leads to inflammation, which can ultimately lead to loss of bone and loss of gum attachment, and you’ve guessed it- tooth loss.

So some lucky people could probably leave plaque undisturbed for long periods of time and never suffer gum disease - and in contrast others could suffer from it if they leave plaque undisturbed for longer than a day- we’re all different in how our bodies react to the plaque. There are researchers trying to determine how we can predict this, but we don’t know at present. The three main things that we do know have influence are genetics (so be careful if you have parents or siblings that have lost teeth due to gum disease) smoking, and poorly controlled diabetes.

So disturbing the plaque biofilm on a daily basis is really the only way to manage the disease and prevent tooth loss - you’ve got to make your mouth totally inhospitable to the bacteria and their toxins that are triggering your immune response, and the only way to do that is to ‘knock down’ their lovely biofilm houses every day - so they don’t get cosy and reproduce whilst inviting their erstwhile friends and family round to stay; triggering your body’s immune ‘alarm system’ so to speak.

Once you know about biofilm it becomes clear that it is totally illogical to expect that having somebody disturb the plaque biofilm a few times a year (eg with a scale and polish) but leave it undisturbed the rest of the time, will halt the disease. You might as well save your time and money as it is going to have little effect.

The only sure-fire way to manage gum disease effectively is to physically disrupt the plaque biofilm by using the biggest interdental/bottle brush that will fit between your teeth, and brush along the gum lines - every day. You can also use a ‘single tufted brush’ where there are gum pockets. Flossing is not recommended for people who have gum disease as it is not as good at this physical disruption, although for it is good for removing plaque where the teeth meet (the ‘contact point’) and therefore may be helpful for preventing decay here, and also for those who are interested in preventing gum disease and can’t fit the brushes in.

Water picks may help a little, but you need a very powerful jet to disrupt a biofilm - think of it like a green layer of scum on a pond bottom or on stone flags- and the jury’s out as to whether the pressure from water picks is sufficient to do this. It's certainly better than doing nothing.

Removal of tartar/calculus isn’t completely necessary as long as the plaque biofilm is being disrupted. However biofilms are more likely to form and be harder to disrupt on tartar/calculus, therefore most dental professionals will try to remove it as part of the treatment they provide.

The idea of a ‘deep clean’ is for the dental professional to disrupt the biofilm in the deep gum pockets that form as part of gum disease, as even the biggest interdental brushes cannot reach here. The hope is that these pockets will then ‘heal’ and close up, meaning all the remaining biofilm can be reached to be disturbed by the patient in future. However this healing can never occur unless the daily disruption of the biofilm is being done by the patient higher up.

So again paying and going through the sometimes not-pleasant procedure of a deep clean (I should say it is normally pain-free when being performed with local anaesthetic, but can make your gums sore for a while afterwards), without carrying out the oral hygiene methods at home is utterly pointless. It may make you feel better in terms of thinking you’re doing something to help, but the reality is it’s going have little effect on the speed at which you lose your teeth.

So really a dental professional who doesn’t give you this oral hygiene advice is actually being negligent. If the biofilm disruption is not being done daily at home, the treatment they are providing is bordering on useless. With this in mind, some dental professionals now will not perform such cleaning until the patient is able to do the daily biofilm disruption.

I do feel sorry for people who have the misfortune to develop gum disease- particularly those whose immune system is on ‘high alert’ and has early onset severe periodontal disease type. The good news is the most common form is the chronic slowly progressing one that often occurs in our (ahem) later decades, which often only takes an improvement in the biofilm disruption at home to successfully manage.

I agree that dental professionals can sometimes be construed as patronising and lecturing their patients, particularly as this concept of periodontal/gum disease is only just filtering down to patients and the profession. It is difficult to explain succinctly (as I have demonstrated!) so the advice on how to disrupt the biofilm often comes across as a shaming/accusation of not cleaning properly, when really it should be seen as a way of managing a chronic disease.

Any advice about how dental professionals could approach these conversations to communicate effectively would be really useful. But also please don’t see the dental professional as giving you a lecture to make you feel small or stupid - they may be going about it in a very high handed manner, but they really are trying to help you.

Elphame · 23/01/2020 10:45

Again you're being patronising.

Fine - give us the message once and then be done with it and if we ask not to have the lecture ( which I do when I book my appointment) then respect our boundaries. A note on the file would make this very clear.

Not so hard is it?

Bitesizedsnacks · 23/01/2020 10:54

Apologies if I came across as patronising. Yes I agree that’s absolutely straightforward if you have had the information in the past and you don’t want to hear it again.

Aridane · 23/01/2020 11:17

@beguilingeyes

I changed hygienist because of that!

Squiz81 · 23/01/2020 14:22

@Bitesizedsnacks
Thanks for taking the trouble to wow so that out, I found it interesting and helpful. If assumed because I was pursuing any good debris out with the water flosser I was doing enough. I've never heard of bio film before. I will look into inter dental brushes, are they a single use thing though? One of the big plusses for the water flosser was I thought it was more environmentally friendly.

woodchuck99 · 23/01/2020 14:37

DH uses the interdental brushes that there is no way I can get them between my teeth. Interesting point about some people being more sensitive to plaque than others. My dentist has said that me (I can't get away with any) but I didn't really know why.

GeraldineFangedVagine · 23/01/2020 14:41

That was a really excellent non patronising explanation bitesizsnacks, in my opinion anyway.

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