Advice on inheritance disputes

[Ilovechinese]

Hi I'm just wondering if anyone on here has been to court to contest a will and if so how long did it take to get to court and what the process is. I'm going through this at the minute (well not got to court yet) but have a caveat in place to stop probate.

Op you won't win. There's nothing to win. Your brother has the law and actually also moral right on his side. And your mother cannot come back and say she loved you more. All you can do is lose.

Tell your solicitor to put a price on releasing the hold and see if thereby they can agree a slightly larger amount for you then get what you have as your inheritance and walk away.

Well it clearly does to you as well OP. I love my parents and my siblings. I actually hope my parents squander every last penny they have living life to the max , but I couldn't give a shiny shit who they leave their money to. I will always have my happy memories of them and if I get 10 % and my siblings get 45% each well thats the way the cookie crumbles and for whatever reason thats the way which ever parent goes last wanted it. No it wont feel great but I wouldn't lose my relationship with my siblings over it.

@DeRigueurMortis of course people are allowed to change their minds. I fully accept that. But if the circumstances around them changing it are suspicious then I should at least investigate it. As I said my father died first and upon his death the house became solely hers, she didn't die till 2 years later, she knew she was dying from a terminal illness so she could have made that will at any time after. Yet it was only made weeks before she died whilst under their care with the partner of my sibling even being the one to make the phone call. There have been many cases where people take on the care of someone in order to coerce them into leaving all their money to them. People are trying to make out he was so caring but we barely ever saw him till she was at deaths door. It is very clear to me what his intentions were even though I may bot be able to prove it but I will definitely try

@Afrigginggoat am actually after reading a lot of posts on here I have already been considering that but what price to put on it?

@sweeneytoddsrazor no the way he treated me whilst she was dying was despicable even before all this will business came about. He clearly is a selfish heartless person and I think a narcissist or psychopath.

Yet again OP it doesn't matter what you think your brothers intentions were.

It only matters what you can prove and there is nothing you have posted that is anything more than circumstantial/gut feel/your belief. Nothing.

The fact that other people have cared for dying relatives to get them to change their will is irrelevant. You have to PROVE this is what your brother did.

The best way forward: you talked about a caveat you had in place to prevent the sale of the house.

I'm not sure exactly what/how you've done on this - but essentially this is your bargaining chip.

Don't wait for him to sue you. Get your solicitor to write a letter naming your terms. They will likely make a counter offer - then for goodness sake be prepared to compromise.

You're a classic case of cutting off your nose to spite your face at this point.

I started off having a lot of sympathy for you OP because clearly you are very hurt. But I don't think calling your brother a psychopath or narcissist is doing anything to help you. Can you honestly hand on heart if you had your mother living with you and you inherited more say you would have given him an equal share so you and your kids got less?

@sweenytoddsrazor yes I would and if I was single and well off and had a younger sibling with children who were my nephews I would definitely do it, surely most decent honest people would? And yes you are right I am very hurt and feel betrayed by the people who are supposed to be closest to me. Wouldn't anyone be hurt under those circumstances?

Why do you keep going on about doing your house up and having children? It’s of absolutely no relevance whatsoever

@DeRigueurMortis I am thinking of doing this. How long would it take for him to get it to court? And what would be a reasonable amount, I know I wont get a fair share but should I say half or 2 thirds of what I was set to receive?

OP these are questions for a solicitor who specialises in this field.

Spend your money wisely - which in my opinion is to get solid legal advice on how to reach an out of court settlement.

You've already been given advice on here by experts on the type of solicitor you need to engage.

As to what's reasonable well that depends on the sums involved which you have not shared.

It's fruitless to talk percentages when it could be a third of £10k or a third of £1m because the actual values you are talking about are so varied and it also has an impact on what level of investment (time/money/emotional commitment) it's worth you making.

Again I say this - please put your (albeit understandable) anger/hurt aside and use your head not your heart.

You can't change what your mother did nor what you think your brother has done but you can chose not to inflict additional damage on you and your children by bankrupting yourself and spending years eaten up by bitterness about it.

Another question OP.

How old are you and your brother?

The reason I ask it that you say he is single and without children and this is a reason he should be morally obligated to give you your perceived share.

That dynamic is very different if you a 30 and he twenty years older vs him being mid thirties and you in your twenties.

@DeRigueurMortis why is that? In case he has children in the future? He wont he definitely doesn't want children andis quite a lot older.

To be honest I'm trying to gauge where your head is at and the dynamics wrt your brother but in retrospect that's silly of me. It has no bearing legally.

I've given you the best advice I can as have others but it's no substitute for professional legal advice in real life.

Okay thank you I appreciate that @DeRigueurMortis

So, if you lose and you have to pay your legal fees + his legal fees, can you afford that?

Is it really greedy to want what's right and just and I just want a better life for my children you know what I mean?

Think about that statement a bit more. You want a better life for your children. You have been given an amount of money but not enough in your opinion but the amount that was stated in the will.

You have repeatedly said it's the principle and if you lose money you don't care as he will get less even though others have advised if you lose you could be ordered to pay his costs so he loses nothing and you will be penniless. How is that making a better life for your children? Think very carefully on who you are hurting here.

op nothing good will come of this, let it go. this anger is preventing you from grieving.

your db looked after his mum and cared for her - if she went in a home, there would be little estate left as the house may have needed to be sold to pay for care.

it is only money.

it's not your money. Inherited money is a gift, let it go.

I'm a bit unsure how it is a shows that they were deceitful because they contacted the Solicitor. If your mother was genuinely distressed and asked them to contact a Solicitor because she didn't feel that all her affairs were in order, what then? If they were the ones there to do it, what could they do even though they were the beneficiaries. I say this because I am on the other side to this and have been in that situation.

Okay, I'm out. You are clearly going to squander everything you have in an absolutely fruitless endeavour, ennobling your own desire for money while criticising everyone else's. Good luck.

🤔🤔🤔

Oh well it’s great for your solicitors bottom line let’s look on the bright side. You will lose - you will lose your case and you will lose any money you have inherited paying legal fees so the claim of wanting more for your children rings rather hollow. Oh and we have no skin in the game your solicitor wants a client.

Having been at this from the other side (a beneficiary and executor), the party that felt ‘wronged’ came out with all sorts of hurtful, factually incorrect bollocks including coercion which couldn’t have been further from the truth. There are complex emotions at play and it was a really difficult time. I feared litigation and it never came. Had it, I suspect there would have been a lot more hurt all round as each side would have tried to show unreasonableness. The potential costs terrified me. If you look at some of the big, high profile cases, the legal fees were ginormous. You stand to lose a lot more than you’re likely to gain both financially and emotionally.

I know others have asked this but I don’t remember seeing the answer . How much did you receive and how much did your brother receive ? Even approximately, it might help to give better answers ( even 18 pages in !)
I know you are hurt , been there and understand . My DM gave my DB a lot of money over the years which I only found out after she died and I wondered why she left a relatively small amount . It stung like Hell especially as I had been a struggling LP for a while and she refused to help. Although my relationship with DB has suffered ( due to other stuff too) I didn’t consider court as it was her money left by my Dad to her.

OP leaving aside your emotional pain and stress, what all this boils down to is evidence. You have suspicions, but, from what you have said so far, no way of proving any one of them. As so many others have said, making accusations will not help you, legally speaking, unless you have evidence to back them up. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but its true. Please take good legal advice about this.

FWIW, people can take painkillers and be of sound mind. I know of one old lady who was taking large quantities of prescribed morphine-based medicines. She was weak but rational and able to make decisions until about three days before she died. By that time, she was no longer conscious.