Advice on inheritance disputes

[Ilovechinese]

Hi I'm just wondering if anyone on here has been to court to contest a will and if so how long did it take to get to court and what the process is. I'm going through this at the minute (well not got to court yet) but have a caveat in place to stop probate.

It's really hard to know how to advise without knowing a) how much the estate is worth and b) how much you've already been given.

I am a solicitor and this is my area of law. My spidey senses are tingling about your solicitor. Someone earlier mentioned a Larke v Nugus letter. Why hasn't this happened yet? How on earth can she advise on your prospects without the most basic gathering of evidence? You've entered an Appearance without evidence which smacks of inexperience and you've put your neck on the block for the other side's costs already. Has there been any talk of negotiating/mediation? Does your solicitor specialise in probate disputes? This is a specialist area of law. Look for someone with a STEP qualification. Again as someone said above - you get what you pay for. If this is as important to you as you say, instruct someone shit hot. Not just someone who will take your money and tell you what you want to hear. I'm sorry but I don't have a good feeling about this.

@FloraPostIt thank you for your post. I have had a large v nugus letter. I didn't see someone had already mentioned it. That is how I know it's the girlfriend who rang and booked the appointment for the solicitors to come out and also that she told them she wasn't yet on any drugs which I now know for a fact she was. Also is it easier to test on lack of knowledge and approval? As where it says grandchildren names one of my childrens names is completely wrong and she would never have got them wrong as she didnt have many. So what I believe may of happened Is that they misheard her and wrote it wrong but surely she was meant to read it and check everything was correct before signing it?

@FloraPostIt what is a STEP qualification and how do I find out if they have one? Also I fear it will cost more to change solictors now. She did mention mediation before and said most cases settle out of court and they did warn me costs could run into a lot and I do think she will be honest with me as people are saying solocitors will take cases on just to get money but as she knows I haven't got much money I doubt she will do this.

I would take a step back like everyone else has advised.

Think about the cost. You will run out of money because you don't have much by your own admission. Your solicitor will accept instalments but that means ongoing so how do you plan to fund this when it can go for years?

Think about the emotional cost. Right now you are about getting justice for them being greedy. Other people will judge you for being vindictive and greedy to challenge a will. Can you mentally cope with that. Whilst you will try and argue your case they may bring up issues that might paint you in a poor light. Can you cope with seeing that on paper?

Unless you are wealthy and don't give a shiny shit about losing I wouldn't recommend it as it sounds like this is just a principle thing and it's only the law that matters in these disputes.

@WobblyAllOver no one will judge me everyone in my family is encouraging me to contest it and saying my father will be turning in his grave to know what is going on! It is not greedy to want what is right and fair and what my father wanted .e to have.

And if people on here judge me I dont really care as they dont know me or my family and I only came on here to ask of people had been through similar. Some people say it was my mothers money but it was no more hers than it is mine. She was a SAHM all her life and never paid a bill or a penny to the mortgage. She landed on her feet when she met my father as a single mother. If it wasn't for him she would have never owned a home. She even admitted she couldn't afford to go back to work because of childcare costs. So for people calling me a skint single mum they dont see the irony that that is all my mother would have been without my father.

The point is that my father who paid the mortgage wanted us all to have an equal amount. He was a good and decent man to bring up a child that wasn't his and include him in his will. My mother (if this was truly her intention and she wasn't coerced as some are saying) clearly didn't have the same decency to spite her own biological children fir no good reason when my father treated hers as his own.

But as I say I dont believe this was her intention. If she made the will after my father had passed whilst still at said home I would believe its what she wanted. But she made it only weeks before her death whilst at the vile poor excuse for a nurses house. So it's clear they told her to do it as she knew she was dying and could have done it long before she went there. Surely any judge will see that.

‘ Some people say it was my mothers money but it was no more hers than it is mine.’

None of that is true op.
It was hers and she’s given it to others to her wishes, im assuming when your dad died she got everything. It is irrelevant where her finances originated from, it was legally hers.

Who paid for her funeral? Did she leave funds for this or has someone had to pay those expenses for her?

My Dad did wanted it to go to the children. We have to respects his wishes since it was his money that paid for it.

OP it's very clear you are lashing out as you are grieving.

When people get married they tie themselves together financially. It doesn't matter if your DM was a SAHM and your dad earned all the money and paid the mortgage. This is where your emotional sense of justice is impairing your ability to see the legal position.

They were never married.

If they had been tenants in common or he just put the house in his name she would have got nothing on his death

Ilove,

I think you are entirely right to consider contesting this. Rolling over if someone is conning you may be discretion being the better part of valour. On the other hand, putting up a good fight, even if you lose, may be far more cathartic for you.

You do, however, need to listen to advice. Ask the solicitor for a frank assessment of possible outcomes, including total costs to you. Write all of these down and then have a good hard think of at least a week. If you still want to go ahead and can tolerate the worst outcome, go for it.

It was both their money OP. How much have you been offered? If your children are named on the will as well then yiu have obviously been offered something. A small amount is better than nothing or a huge debt surely.

Please go and see the solicitor they will have notes from his meeting. Often the change in will can be explained. I came across this recently and the claim didn't go ahead

@larrygrylls thank you for your advice I really appreciate someone being positive after so many people being negative or a few insinuating I am being greedy. You are exactly right in that they are conning me and trying to steal my inheritance and most likely conned my mother on her death ed whilst she was vulnerable and suffering. I will not take this lying down and I know my Das will want me to fight in and be proud of me for not giving up.

The way I see it I've lost already if I dont fight it at all so if I fight it and still lose at least I know I tried and didn't just give in without a fight.

@sweeneytoddsrazor my children were left nothing at all which is very upsetting as well. They were only named in it as grandchildren but were not left a penny

Op I don’t think anyone is ‘judging me you’ here. There’s been a lot of good advice.

You are understandably in a whirl of grief and hurt and anger.

I’ve recently lost both of my parents with none of this to deal with on top. I thought I’d dealt pretty well with things. Close friends have told me that I did but that for a while I wasn’t coping very well - not surprising. They kept an eye on me and gave me advice when I wasn’t seeing things straight (even though I’m my grief and shock and panic I thought I was ).

You asked above how counselling would help. It really could help you separate and see (maybe even feel) all of your different hurts separately.

The court won’t be interested in things that are entwined for you (the vile nursing home, your dads wishes (it really was your mum’s money when she inherited it) and so on. It might help you grieve and come to terms with how your mum was and what she has done through her will.

You’ll need to prove all of your allegations with clean hard evidence and no emotion. You say your family are all telling you to pursue this - the very people in your family who matter are not - they are the beneficiaries of the larger shares and they did not seek a deed of variation and are resisting your allegations. So you are going to have to have evidence and a LOT of money over the next several years, and an ability to focus laser like on only what the court is interested in.

From your posts and the limited amount we know it sounds as though that just won’t happen and you’ll be drained dry emotionally and financially.

Advice here is not ‘judging’. It’s honestly trying to help you.

The problem is it doesn’t matter if the judge thinks it’s unfair, they still won’t overturn a legal will.

It was your mother’s to dispose of as she chose.

I own a house with my husband. It was bought entirely with the proceeds of my late FILs will. I never contributed to it. We are joint owners though.

At the moment we have mirror wills, however since my DH is 10 years older than me with a serious heart condition chances are I will outlive him. The house I contributed to will then become mine.

I know he would like me to leave it equally to all of our children. We’re a blended family so some are mine, some are his but we have none together.

If I decide against this and decide to cut his children out of my will there is bugger all anyone can do. The fact the money came from their family is entirely irrelevant. At that point in time it’s mine and I can leave it to whoever I choose.

What you believe can not overturn law.

My Dad did wanted it to go to the children. We have to respects his wishes since it was his money that paid for it.

Then why didn’t he leave some to his children directly in his will, instead of leaving it all to her and assuming she would stick to what was agreed? He let you down as well, sorry to say.

Some people say it was my mothers money but it was no more hers than it is mine. She was a SAHM all her life and never paid a bill or a penny to the mortgage. She landed on her feet when she met my father as a single mother. If it wasn't for him she would have never owned a home. She even admitted she couldn't afford to go back to work because of childcare costs. So for people calling me a skint single mum they dont see the irony that that is all my mother would have been without my father
Mmm, you are starting to come across as very greedy yourself. If you can't see at all the difference between the fact that this money was indeed hers rather than yours, than maybe that might explain why your mum decided to change her will in her last weeks.

It sounds like she reached a point when she needed a lot more care than what you were providing to her. Why didn't you move into her house during that time to care for her FT? Your mum might have been horrified at the idea of going into a home and your brother and partner offering to care for her during that time might have meant everything to her.

It might feel very wrong morally to judge your kids and decide on their worth based on one's few last months rather than their whole life, but ultimately, it is still their choice to do that and I suspect that's exactly what happened there. She felt let down by you and younger siblings and was utterly grateful for her eldest and the partner who didn't even really know her to make her last time on this planet a less frighening, painful, lonely experience.

It sounds like your quest is notjustice justice or welfare, because there doesn't seem to be that much money and after sharing three ways and paying fees, there would be little if none left. It's all about revenge towards your brother and wanting him to have nothing.

The thing is, revenge only trully affect the person experiencing it. It will eat you inside slowly and affect all aspects of your life without seeing it until it is too late. It's is you it will destroy much more than your brother. It really isn't worth it and you would indeed benefit much more from paying to see a counselor than a barrister.

Could this be of any use to you OP?

www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/private-client-law-blog/a-renaissance-for-mutual-wills