To think the psychiatrist was in the wrong

[busyweeks78]

My friend had an appointment and has admitted the true reason she was so upset by the psychiatrist. She wanted to be marked as low risk due to clearance from occupational health for work. They said no I will have to leave it at moderate risk but then added least we aren’t putting high risk. I’ve got patients that harm themselves and lot more seriously and regularly than you and then added after saying that not many mind but a few. Aibu to think they shouldn’t invalidate peoples struggles?

They’re just explaining why it’s not high risk, don’t think they’re invalidating people’s struggles. Are you okay OP? This is one of many posts you’ve posted about this. are you the friend?

Is this the same friend who self harmed and overdosed recently. It sounds tough.

I hope you're okay (I am assuming youre the friend here)

You wanted "low risk", but obviously there's some concerns about self-harm, is that right?

If you wanted "low risk", that must mean you think you are a low risk in terms of reducing the amount, frequency or type of SH?

They've put you down as moderate, as there are still a few concerns.

Why do you find this invalidating, if you wanted low risk?

I don't understand. I can't work out if you want to be deemed low risk or high risk? If you want to be low risk why are you feeling like your struggles are being invalidated?

I think your friend needs to hear you, as her apparent confidente, tell her that her psychatrist is doing what is best for her and that getting cleared by OH is not gong to be done at her timescale.

And maybe you might not want to talk to her about struggles being invalidated.. don't add to her negative / skewed self perception

Has your friend also handed over her medication stockpile today as planned?

I’m currently in hospital so no it’s not about me. As explained before I’ve got many friends with mental health problems that I’ve meant through support groups and inpatient/day patient admissions. She has handed it over to her care coordinator this morning and I’m very proud of her for doing so.

She did want low risk but is upset that they are implying her symptoms aren’t serious even when she’s at her most unwell as others have it worse. I don’t think it’s needed for them to bring up other people in. Someone’s appointment.

Honestly, your friend needs to speak to her psychiatrist about how she feels after her appointments. For what it's worth, my psychiatrist does tell me things like that quite often and I find it helpful because it's easy to think that your behaviour is either totally normal or totally abnormal. But really, your friend needs to speak to her psychiatrist and, if she doesn't feel that she can, she should try and see a different psychiatrist.

Your friend needs to figure out whether she wants to be low risk or high risk. She's not happy that she's not low risk, not happy that she's not high risk. Makes no sense!

Risk of what may I ask?

I don't think there is anything wrong with what the psychiatrist said and I think you're doing your friend no favours by feeding into their belief that there was.

I do totally get the risk thing by the way - my psychiatrist always seems to celebrate when he decides that I'm low risk but it makes me feel like I'm not good enough in my messed up brain. I do discuss that with him though; it's a pretty normal reaction apparently.

Yabu, the psychiatrist said nothing wrong.
I might get flamed but I really don't think it's a good idea for people who are so mentally unwell to be friends with others who are also quite mentally unwell- Unhealthy relationships form, validating each other's warped thoughts becomes a thing, preoccupation about the other's problems, neglecting own recovery etc
I'd step back and concentrate on getting yourself better.

YABU. It's important to put things into perspective.

I can't see this op. She was just explained why she's not high risk but can't be low risk, surely putting her low would invalidate her struggles? Not refusing to do so.

I think maybe both you and your friend need some further help as the conclusion you're both coming to is illogical, I'm sorry.💐

She doesn’t have an issue with the risk rating. She’s got an issue with the comparison of her to other patients.

How can the psychiatrist evaluate whether someone is high, medium or low risk of a behaviour other than by comparing them to other people or some sort of average behaviour? Mental illness is no different to physical illness there. If a doctor is assessing someone's risk of heart disease as low, medium or high they look at what the average is for the person's age and sex. If someone queries why they are medium risk rather than low risk a doctor would discuss the sort of behaviours/ risk factors eg genetics, smoking, diabetes that other patients may have that put them in a low or high risk group so it makes sense.
If your friend wants to be seen as low risk surely it's good that her psychiatrist doesn't see herself as the worst self harmer he/she has ever treated as that would mean she was high risk.

Yes but you don’t need to tell your patients that.

This is why I think quite often 'support' groups are counterproductive. It's not always helpful to turn to other people with mental illness if they're also not well at the time.
OP it doesnt sound like you are best placed to be involved in your friends care at the mpment.

@busyweeks78

So if a Dr says to someone that they have Stage 2 cancer... that's invalidating because they still have cancer, but they are being compared as "less" severe than Stage 4? That's a comparative tool, and is the bases of assessing illnesses.

Your friend is in the wrong, sorry. And I understand, I suffer from mental illnesses too.

@TwitcherOfCurtains - to be honest it's the reality for most people with Serious mental illness who have been in hospital or support groups. There may be unhelpful elements but patients tend to be extremely empathetic and supportive of each other. Other friendships can fall apart because of the mental illness. I'm an inpatient currently and have made friends for life.

@TwitcherOfCurtains - I even met my boyfriend on an acute ward!