To think the psychiatrist was in the wrong

[busyweeks78]

My friend had an appointment and has admitted the true reason she was so upset by the psychiatrist. She wanted to be marked as low risk due to clearance from occupational health for work. They said no I will have to leave it at moderate risk but then added least we aren’t putting high risk. I’ve got patients that harm themselves and lot more seriously and regularly than you and then added after saying that not many mind but a few. Aibu to think they shouldn’t invalidate peoples struggles?

So...does your friend want to be told she’s the most severe case they’d ever seen? Would she feel better then?

No she just didn’t want to be compared to others. Of there are people that are more unwell than her. I think the fact they said “not many mind but a few” was clearly them admitting what they said was wrong. As I’m sure these more than just a few people of a higher risk than her.

@WaitrosesCheapestVodka - but do you not feel that the psychiatrist should of been aware that talking about others 'worse' self harm can be triggering to the patient?

Why are you still focusing on this? It's a complete non issue, it's not even your issue!

Honestly you need to step back.

It's nice that you have a boyfriend and friends UndertheCedartree.
I said what I did because I have never seen a friendship or relationship between two people who are severely ill make the situation any better. From what I've witnessed those people recover slower and have more relapses.
To me it seems a bit like the blind leading the blind.
(All just my view btw, could be talking shite but it's what I've observed).

Because my friend is upset by it

Your friend is upset because she's not thinking clearly about it, neither are you. You're both taking this way out of proportion.
You reinforcing to her that she's right to be upset is not going to help her, it really isn't.

This is between your friend and her psychiatrist. What you are telling us is hardly first hand. I think by the time it’s gone through each of your interpretations, it’s not going to be accurate here.
Maybe some patients are triggered by comparison. But maybe you weren’t present for the bit where she said first, “I should be low - loads of people here are worse than me”.

You’re right to encourage from her to speak to her care co-ordinator if she can’t speak to the psychiatrist. But beyond that, I don’t think posting here is going to give the true picture of the actual conversation.

Yes, I agree with this. I remember having a conversation with a friend who is a very experienced psychiatric nurse who warned me about getting too deeply involved with someone I met in hospital. She basically said the amount of people she’s seen in and out of the psychiatric ward who’ve got involved with other psychiatric patients was frustrating and made things much harder.

I think when you’re severely mentally ill you get into this self destruct mindset where all you really want, if you’re honest, is to be left alone to wallow in your own suffering. When you’re with people who are also of the same mindset it just makes it worse because you egg each other on and wind each other up. It becomes a cycle of negative reinforcement. You play up and insist you’re fine, then go away and harm yourself again, or get into dangerous situations, then you get more attention from the MH services. It’s unavoidable because they have to respond, but it’s a really dangerous and damaging cycle to get into.

OP please step back from this. Honestly, one throw away comment from a psychiatrist is a non issue, and by making an issue all it’s going to achieve is the psychiatrist thinking your friend is not well, which it sounds like she’s clearly not. You can argue till the cows come home with people on here about it but that is what the psychiatrist will be confronted with, and s/he will act accordingly.

Whatisthisfuckery that’s a really insightful and interesting post. I hope you’re well now.

I saw this with no disrespect, but if you're in a psychiatric hospital right now is this the best thing to be spending your energy on? I understand you're worried about your friend but you're obviously not in a great position and it shouldn't be up to you to dissect conversations for your friends benefit. Put you first.

AnneLovesGilbert Yes, I’m fine now, thank you. I had a lot of difficult things to deal with but I’ve done a lot of work on myself. I have a lot more insight now than I did which will hopefully make it less likely I’ll get so ill again. I have been much better since I had a good long bit of self reflection. I might still have a mental illness, but I wasn’t managing it very well. Now I am I’m doing so much better.

@TwitcherOfCurtains - yes, I do understand it can make things more complicated. I do find my friends with their own mental health issues understand more and are more open minded, though. I think it is good to have a mix of friends.

It's very unhelpful to tell a MH patient in a psychiatric hospital that she shouldn't develop close friendships with other patients. Just who else are they going to have as friends?

People with MH issues tend not to talk to people without them because of the stigma involved.

You do need to try to let this go, though, OP, as focusing on this psychiatrist and what he said (clearly not intended to cause offence) and focus instead on your own recovery.

@Lizzie0869 - that is so true. I only really talk to my boyfriend or friends with mental issues about my EUPD. There is too much stigma and lack of knowledge for it to feel safe to talk to others.

@UndertheCedartree Sane here. I have complex PTSD as a result of childhood SA and now I have been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. That makes it easier to explain in days when I'm not too well and I no longer feel I have to wear a mask all the time. Because before if I mentioned any MH issues I felt I had to tell them about my past, which I really didn't want to.

It's so ridiculous really, why is one thing more acceptable to suffer from than another?