Work hard and you can achieve anything?

[mommathatwearspink]

AIBU to think that this isn’t always the case... or is it?

Me and DP (early 30’s) work very hard (like many people) in good jobs. I am still fairly new in my profession but have the chance to make good money as I progress. So far it’s taking longer than anticipated.
I’ve seen so many quotes this week that say ‘work hard and you can achieve anything’ and I just feel that no matter how hard you work, you can’t necessarily achieve everything you want.

Yes, you can... if you want to do so at the expense of everything/ everyone else. My DH works hard. I work hard... and do childcare, emotional support, life stuff so can’t work overtime/ study etc. I give my all, all the time, but because my commitment isn’t 100% to one thing it counts for little. I have the potential but cannot dedicate myself to reaching it at the expense of others, so never will (unlike DH, who does).
It makes me sad, but is ultimately my choice.

Get into IT.

Wish I had!

Totally depends on the area of work.
Media - luck grit and who you know
Legal - working really hard, who you know,
Caring - attitude, ability to be resilient, mental stability
Fame - so much luck but also work really hard
Etc...

So working really hard is up there. You’ve got to be competitive if you want to move up though, take risks, and just go for stuff.

I worked in low paid areas but worked hard, upped my skills, would have got quite far but then decided to focus on my kids more as they had high needs and work is not flexible enough to carry you up. Almost square one!

I definitely believe luck has a part to play no matter how hard you work. Also sometimes having the right connections / network, knowing the right people also helps. Sometimes risks pay off and sometimes they don't. But I do agree that it's more about 'working smart than working hard' If you see a quote on social media about 'working hard, living dreams' 95% of the time its posted by someone who is currently struggling in their lives or is part of an MLM.

Many of these threads also seem to be frequented by the 'woe is me' set who assume that the only way to success is successful parents.

I'm the daughter of a steel worker and a SAHM. I went to a state primary, secondary and college and have no degree. Had my first jproper job at 15 but plenty of summer work/paper rounds before that. Was working 25 hrs a week 6pm-11pm Mon-Fri through my AS and A levels. I also lost my mum at 21 and was married at 22.

None of which has negatively impacted my ability to be successful in my chosen career.

And you've got no chance if you are disabled either. Still waiting 30 years later for my hard work to pay off.

Nobody has been woe is me, but all the data shows that the biggest determinant of success as an adult is the income of your parents.

Also as said, most people edit out any of the help and support they had to achieve what they did.

Also persistently identifying the small few who rose to the top despite adversity is survivor bias.

To paraphrase George Monbiot's quote; "if wealth were the inevitable result of hard work, endeavour and enterprise, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire".

Nah. It’s just a trite saying. Something trotted out by “inspirational speakers” and in pointless self help manuals. If it was true far more people would be achieving material, emotional and career success. They aren’t. For every executive there will be hundreds of managers and thousands of “members of staff”. There’s one gold, silver and bronze medal and then lots of runners up. One team wins the league and 19 don’t.

People can work hard and intelligently but get nowhere in life because opportunities are limited. Some people can be complete slackers and get on.

Hard work, talent, intelligence and education will increase you chances of being more successful than most people.

I'm NHS. I work with a lot of senior managers who 'took risks', 'manufactured opportunity' etc etc, to progress, salary-wise.

They are a major reason why the NHS is on its knees.

Sorry, but the 8a/b managers I work under have got where they are via guile, opportunistic positioning, bullshit.

A lot is luck - in that of the 7 billion people in the world, people in the UK probably have in the top quartile for quality of life.

That doesn’t make it easy, but just gives some perspective on how tough people elsewhere have it. We also have better quality of life than people in previous centuries.

It’s not only luck and hard work, you have to have good financial and social sense too. No point spending all the hard earned cash on takeaways/accommodation.

YANBU

Working hard? My grandad was down a coal mine at 14. My other grandad walked miles to school as a five year old. I didn't work that hard at those ages.
And luck is an intractable part of it. I had a good job, earned well, bought a house at a low point of the housing market and then got diagnosed with a progressive illness that isn't genetic.

When I was 35 I was earning ~40k pa. Fast forward 10 years and now I'm on £130k pa with ~£30k annual bonus. If earning more/achieving career success is your goal it can happen. It might be worth finding a mentor either at your place of work (in the corporate world there are often mentoring programmes on offer) or outside it.

Have you come across the PIE concept for career building? I learned about it in my 30s at one of the leadership training sessions (which I usually didn't take too seriously) at my company. You can look through Google for "PIE performance image exposure".

The concept is that in career success, performance counts for 10% of your success, image 30% and exposure an eye-popping 60%.

• Performance: Most women think performance means doing the job – and doing it perfectly. Perfection doesn’t cross the mind of most men. Instead, men talk about hitting the outcomes – and knowing why it’s important to hit them. They do a good enough job to get the results.

• Image: This has very little to do with your attire. You can be impeccably turned out in a "dress for success” way, but act like a subordinate OR you can be dressed very casually (think Steve Jobs or Bill Gates) and act like a leader. Image for this discussion has much to do with presence (non-verbal carriage), language, how one wields the power of her position.

• Exposure: Lastly, when you hear the word exposure, I’m afraid of what you might be thinking! But what men talk about are two things. Getting the right job assignments to position you to move up. AND getting exposed to how work is done at higher levels.

www.leadingwomen.biz/blog/bid/73237/recipes-for-mentoring-success-cake-and-pie

www.mondofrank.com/pie/

@Liriope fantastic insight thank you!

Liriope

^^

Great post

I agree. It’s like when people say
“You make your own luck”. Well not really.
Bad luck your child dying, bad luck getting cancer, bad luck getting hit by a drunk driver. I think it’s such a bullshit

Many people’s Financial situations can be improved by hard work and reduced spending though. Whether it is worth it in terms of relationships, mental health is a different question though.

I have immigrant background and would say that I would place greater emphasis on relationships with my kids than financial gain if I were to go through the same tribulations as my forbears. Though I do admire and have great gratitude for their sacrifices.

A lot of it is knowing how to play the game I think and background does often help with that. Obviously you do have to work but it's not all about how hard you work imo

For every executive there will be hundreds of managers and thousands of “members of staff”.

but the high majority of the staff does not want to be an executive...

Bad luck your child dying, bad luck getting cancer, bad luck getting hit by a drunk driver. I think it’s such a bullshit

obviously

but apart from people stuck in a war zone and going through horrendous health problems and death, it's not down to luck.

not true. you need luck and health too. One if my DC e g. is severely disabled. It even cost me my part time job. I work fucking hard caring for a child with complex needs but I cannot achieve anything. My life is in tatters and I am financially ruined.

I really hate it when people say that working hard can get you anywhere. It's just bullshit.

depends what do you mean by working hard. If you mean coming in early and doing everything that has been dropped on your desk as fast as you can - no. Nobody cares really and it will not get you anywyere.

It's one of those sayings that has been scrambled, I think.

Like "Happy is the man who knows his place"

Most people interpret it to mean you can be happy if you settle for something, or work in a job other people would expect of you. But that is not what it means. It means a person is most happy when the are in the place that best suits them - so they know it, inhabit it, live in it and recognise it for what it is.

That they don't become contemptuous of it, always wish for something else, something more. Which some peope again interpret as not being ambitious, settling for less.

Work hard and achieve anything is much the same. It only works if you are realistic, have ambition that matches your ability.... if you would recognise your place when you found it!

Think of all those X Factor contestants who REALLY WANT IT.... LIVE FOR IT... WOULD DIE WITHOUT IT and yet are so tone deaf it hurts to listen to them. Their ambition does not match their ability and so it won't matter how hard they work... they will never know their place!

Of course a lot of it is down to luck!

But this isn't the only factor, however neither is hard work.

I've seen a fair few people do very well in life through no more than accident of birth and others who work damned hard and do all the "right" things but for some reason it just never pays off.

I’ve worked for 40+ years and seen lots of successful and even more unsuccessful people.
It’s very little to do with hard work more to do with luck, bullshitting and being prepared to change jobs every couple of years. So you go to a new organisation tell them how wonderful you are and how you can solve all of their problem. By the time they find out that is all a load of bollocks you have moved on.