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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU with DH?

87 replies

WeirdAndScary · 19/01/2020 20:35

DH has just informed me that he has won a van via a raffle done for a building charity group that he is affiliated with (self employed builder). But we don't need a van. He has a work van already and a weekend car for when I am working and he needs to transport DD somewhere. He is suggesting that we can use this van as a day van and go on long days out/take the bikes/sleep in it on occasion and basically live the idealised life of an active family in the countryside.

I have made it very clear that I do not want a bloody huge van sitting outside my house. We already have a trailer and a bike rack to transport the bikes and DD is 18 months old so far too young to camp in a bloody van overnight. We have a two car driveway that is taken up by his work van and my car, and this new van is not a small one. I have suggested he asks for the raffle to be redrawn.

Currently he is moping about the house switching between mentioning that 'he never wins anything of raffles', 'its the dream, I would convert it' and 'i will look like a twat if I turn it down'. I have informed him that it's his decision but I am not happy about the prospect to which he has responded that I am being unreasonable.

So, Mumsnet, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Bodear · 20/01/2020 07:33

@Frenchw1fe “let” him? Really?
He’s not a child and fortunately op seems far less controlling than that.

MsChatterbox · 20/01/2020 07:35

I am totally with you. I would sell it even if for only £500.

Frenchw1fe · 20/01/2020 07:39

@Bodear yep. I worded that pretty badly. Although OP did seem pretty adamant that she wasn’t ‘allowing ‘ him to keep the van initially.

thesunwillout · 20/01/2020 08:28

Agree, he's bought it.

WombOfOnesOwn · 20/01/2020 08:46

I'm with the posters who say he's bought it and said it was free to appease you. No one would give away an old vehicle that could potentially be a liability issue.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 20/01/2020 09:14

Given the drip feed, I would be changing my YABU to YANBU.

ioioitsoff · 20/01/2020 09:21

What’s wrong with having a van outside your house

A lot if it blocks light from your house or your neighbours house. We moved because our neighbours were parking a huge American RV right next to our windows.

TheTeenageYears · 20/01/2020 09:33

Presumably the running costs are all going to be down to you (tax, insurance, maintenance) so actually this ‘prize’ could cost your family a small fortune.

I would find out how the charity got the van, if it was donated to them the they won’t care a jot if your husband keeps or sells it.

disneybee · 20/01/2020 09:49

Sounds amazing! Be happy for him. Even if it's not your idea of an ideal prize, it means a lot to him. Your dc are really lucky to have a Dad that wants to convert a van and go on family adventures. You and your DH are lucky to have this opportunity! Suck it up and support his dream xx

familydramalama · 20/01/2020 09:51

100% keep the van. YABVU also he is allowed to do what he wants surely? You sound like his mother

TiddyTid · 20/01/2020 10:01

I don't believe there was a raffle Grin

JonSlow · 20/01/2020 10:09

Made me think of this....

AIBU with DH?
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