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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU with DH?

87 replies

WeirdAndScary · 19/01/2020 20:35

DH has just informed me that he has won a van via a raffle done for a building charity group that he is affiliated with (self employed builder). But we don't need a van. He has a work van already and a weekend car for when I am working and he needs to transport DD somewhere. He is suggesting that we can use this van as a day van and go on long days out/take the bikes/sleep in it on occasion and basically live the idealised life of an active family in the countryside.

I have made it very clear that I do not want a bloody huge van sitting outside my house. We already have a trailer and a bike rack to transport the bikes and DD is 18 months old so far too young to camp in a bloody van overnight. We have a two car driveway that is taken up by his work van and my car, and this new van is not a small one. I have suggested he asks for the raffle to be redrawn.

Currently he is moping about the house switching between mentioning that 'he never wins anything of raffles', 'its the dream, I would convert it' and 'i will look like a twat if I turn it down'. I have informed him that it's his decision but I am not happy about the prospect to which he has responded that I am being unreasonable.

So, Mumsnet, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Divebar · 19/01/2020 20:53

I’d love a camper van but DH won’t go for it as we don’t have space to park it. I don’t think a baby is a problem.... let him convert it and stop being a kill joy.

Drum2018 · 19/01/2020 20:53

18 months would be fine to sleep in a van - blow up mattresses, pillows and duvets and away ye go. Otherwise can he not sell his existing van and use the new one for work? Whatever he does it would be madness not to accept it graciously.

Peoplearemiserable · 19/01/2020 20:53

18 months isn’t too young to go camping, what a bizarre reaction Confused

Elbeagle · 19/01/2020 20:53

Confused surely that’s £500- £1000 more than you had before?

Original poster
WeirdAndScary · 19/01/2020 20:54

He won't use it as a work van. It's the wrong colour and not sign written so would not look as professional as his current van.

If I thought he would actually convert it then I wouldn't be fussed but I know him! He won't do a bloody thing to it and it will sit and rot on my front lawn! (I should be fair and say that he is working very hard and means well but doesn't always think things through).

I'll talk to him again and see if a plan can be sorted. Ultimately it's his prize.

OP posts:
Thewomeninthemirror · 19/01/2020 20:55

Get it converted?

adaline · 19/01/2020 20:56

Your reaction is utterly bizarre Confused

1Morewineplease · 19/01/2020 20:56

Sell it! Make some good money from it!
Convert it into a camper van.
Or don’t you want it on your drive?

JJTWhite · 19/01/2020 20:58

18months definitely not to young, we have been using a transporter camper since DD was 1, we have the best of times. I would definitely convert it and not turn it down if my husband or myself had won something x

pictish · 19/01/2020 20:58

Sounds brilliant - I’d give my eye teeth for a van to use as a day van/camper and would absolutely sleep in it with an 18 month old.
Can’t understand why you’re being so sour about it, it’s a free van! Where’s your sense of adventure?

baubled · 19/01/2020 20:59

I need a van for my business, tell him to take it and give it to me Grin

Icanflyhigh · 19/01/2020 21:00

YABU. 18 months is not young to camp in a bloody van, all 3 of mine have been doing it in my van since they were a few weeks old!

pictish · 19/01/2020 21:01

What’s wrong with having a van outside your house?

Original poster
WeirdAndScary · 19/01/2020 21:01

If it fit on my driveway I wouldn't be fussed. On the front lawn outside the living room window then yes, I have an issue. And it can't go on the road as we are in a cul de sac.

However it seems I am being unreasonable. So I shall apologise to DH and hope that this time his great plans come to something more then an idea.

OP posts:
Icanflyhigh · 19/01/2020 21:03

@CheddarGorgeous I have a camper van too! I love it, it is old and slow and has no heater in it, but its mine and it's my sanctuary from the real world and the kids love it too!

Honestly OP, take the van, hit it out with a rock and roll bed and go have some amazing adventures.

MrsGrindah · 19/01/2020 21:03

They raffled an old banger?

buckeejit · 19/01/2020 21:04

Why don't you see if he can rent a garage somewhere nearby for a reasonable rate & give him a short time to start work on it if you'd be happy to use it converted

RB68 · 19/01/2020 21:04

you sound v uptight and high maintenance. Rent a garage or get a yard for the business where the works van can be left securely.

He is talking about converting it not making you sleep in a naked van with no heat or insulation etc.

Sounds great to me.

As an absolute minimum he could convert keep for a bit and sell on making a nice little nest egg

Such a spoil sport!

espoleta · 19/01/2020 21:08

@WeirdAndScary
Convert it! My have a camper and it honestly changed my life 7 years ago. Its bliss!
My daughter sleeps in it loads and probably was 3 months the 1st time we went camping (in like March)
Let me know if you want groups to inspire you. Converting it doesn't need to cost an arm and a leg but you should know what you want and then you can either do it yourself or get someone to do it (also, there is a middle group where you can buy the panels online and then fit them yourself which might work).
Is it a VW?

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 19/01/2020 21:10

Try and find a nearby piece of road either it or the work van can be parked on. No need to park it across your window. Try to stop having a strop and help him to think of reasonable solutions rather than taking his nice prize away from him.

SandyY2K · 19/01/2020 21:13

Well I wouldn't want to be in a van to sleep with an 18 month old... but then I like more luxurious holidays. I wouldn't be sleeping in a van at any age...not my style.

Selling it would be my preference..but I guess you can't force him to.

Travis1 · 19/01/2020 21:14

Do you basically mean they raffled an old transit van? If so yanbu and he should sell it

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/01/2020 21:14

You keep saying it’s your drive and your house. Does he not live there?

Original poster
WeirdAndScary · 19/01/2020 21:16

Its not a VW. It's an LDV from early 2000s.

Renting a garage/work yard would be great but there isn't the spare cash to do that I'm afraid. Where we live is tight on parking space as it is so I can't imagine that parking will be easy or complaint free.

I agree I seem uptight about it so as previously said have apologised to him and am trying to think of a way for it to work. But we shall see.

If there are any future parking threads about a massive LDV van then.....I'm sorry! Grin

OP posts:
GetawayfromthatWelshtart · 19/01/2020 21:18

If you have the cash then there are companies that can covert it for you!!! I'm addicted to watching converted vans on youtube, some are bloody amazing!

And a child can sleep anywhere, loads of people live full time in vans with babies and little ones travelling around the globe, it just needs a bit of thinking (rounded corners and you can even get them to do little cot conversion areas on the van). PLUS you can get your say in how it looks!!

Seriously... have a rummage on youtube and check out some converting companies. Then think of all the fun weekend and week long trips travelling around the UK and Europe you can have at a drop of the hat!