AIBU with DH?

[WeirdAndScary]

DH has just informed me that he has won a van via a raffle done for a building charity group that he is affiliated with (self employed builder). But we don't need a van. He has a work van already and a weekend car for when I am working and he needs to transport DD somewhere. He is suggesting that we can use this van as a day van and go on long days out/take the bikes/sleep in it on occasion and basically live the idealised life of an active family in the countryside.

I have made it very clear that I do not want a bloody huge van sitting outside my house. We already have a trailer and a bike rack to transport the bikes and DD is 18 months old so far too young to camp in a bloody van overnight. We have a two car driveway that is taken up by his work van and my car, and this new van is not a small one. I have suggested he asks for the raffle to be redrawn.

Currently he is moping about the house switching between mentioning that 'he never wins anything of raffles', 'its the dream, I would convert it' and 'i will look like a twat if I turn it down'. I have informed him that it's his decision but I am not happy about the prospect to which he has responded that I am being unreasonable.

So, Mumsnet, am I being unreasonable?

18 months is not young to camp in a bloody van, all 3 of mine have been doing it in my van since they were a few weeks old!

It's a case of individual choice. I can't think of anything worse on a holiday, than a baby doing a poo in their nappy in such a confined area and having to get out and change them.

It really all depends on your lifestyle..but camping and babies would be hell for me.

Today 21:01pictish

What’s wrong with having a van outside your house?

Today 21:01WeirdAndScary

If it fit on my driveway I wouldn't be fussed. On the front lawn outside the living room window then yes, I have an issue. And it can't go on the road as we are in a cul de sac.

However it seems I am being unreasonable. So I shall apologise to DH and hope that this time his great plans come to something more then an idea.

Today 21:03Icanflyhigh

@CheddarGorgeous I have a camper van too! I love it, it is old and slow and has no heater in it, but its mine and it's my sanctuary from the real world and the kids love it too!

Honestly OP, take the van, hit it out with a rock and roll bed and go have some amazing adventures.

Today 21:03MrsGrindah

They raffled an old banger?

Today 21:04buckeejit

Why don't you see if he can rent a garage somewhere nearby for a reasonable rate & give him a short time to start work on it if you'd be happy to use it converted

Today 21:04RB68

you sound v uptight and high maintenance. Rent a garage or get a yard for the business where the works van can be left securely.

He is talking about converting it not making you sleep in a naked van with no heat or insulation etc.

Sounds great to me.

As an absolute minimum he could convert keep for a bit and sell on making a nice little nest egg

Such a spoil sport!

Today 21:08espoleta

@WeirdAndScary
Convert it! My have a camper and it honestly changed my life 7 years ago. Its bliss!
My daughter sleeps in it loads and probably was 3 months the 1st time we went camping (in like March)
Let me know if you want groups to inspire you. Converting it doesn't need to cost an arm and a leg but you should know what you want and then you can either do it yourself or get someone to do it (also, there is a middle group where you can buy the panels online and then fit them yourself which might work).
Is it a VW?

Today 21:10YesThatsATurdOnTheRug

Try and find a nearby piece of road either it or the work van can be parked on. No need to park it across your window. Try to stop having a strop and help him to think of reasonable solutions rather than taking his nice prize away from him.

Today 21:13SandyY2K

Well I wouldn't want to be in a van to sleep with an 18 month old... but then I like more luxurious holidays. I wouldn't be sleeping in a van at any age...not my style.

Selling it would be my preference..but I guess you can't force him to.

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SandyY2K

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@Icanflyhigh ours is also old and slow but we have heating

I would agree to it but on a time frame - convert in 6 months/a year or sell.
A lot of posters talking about converting it have never, I imagine, done so or owned a camper. The camper I had was a money pit, and it was ready-converted. Could be a nice hobby doing it up but does he have time or need another hobby?
Most campsites won't let you park up in an old van with a mattress in the back - it needs to be converted properly.

Agree on a time frame. If he takes the van, he has to make the changes he is planning in x time or else the van has to be sold.

Oh dear...sorry about the multiple posts.

Someone has raffled a van worth £500 that's a an old banger!!

Nope I'm with you OP, it's going to be a money pit. MOT, tax, insurance, the repairs it undoubtedly already needs.

I'd be telling the charity thanks but no thanks.

What a rubbish prize! Are you sure that's all it's worth?

Was he the only one who bought a ticket?

Just read money is tight OP.

If he is serious there are TONS of "DIY" van conversions on YOuTube on the cheap, some showing from start to finish on how they did it. Yes it might take him a while but it's not a hard do if he has basic DIY skills.

My sis and her hubby are currently converting a rusty old transit van to a camper and she knows it's going to take a while as he can only work on it at weekends but he has primed any rusty bits and sorted out the engine, cut and fitted a skylight and fan and waterproofed them, has the frame up inside to hold the cover boards and insulting it atm using Youtube tuturials! Its even going to have a dog bed under their raised bed for their dogs.

we used to take dd camping in a bloody tent when she was younger than that. No electrical hook ups for us either. She became a hardy child!

If DH won a van i'd love it and make him go to IKEA with me every weekend, I don't think the van would last long

Of course you’re not unreasonable! The van sounds like a pile of shite and you don’t need it or have room for it. Are you sure he’s won it in a raffle - sounds very dubious to me!

These replies are so weird - no you're not being unreasonable to think taxing, insuring and maintaining 4 vehicles between 2 adults is crazy (I have got that right haven't I? Work van, new van, your car, his car). Just because the van is free doesn't mean everything else is.

I also live in a cul de sac and my opposite neighbour has the same number of vehicles with a one car driveway. Subsequently parking is a bloody nightmare and I think they're selfish.

I've never slept in a van but used to go camping, youngest was 5 weeks old when we went camping for 3 weeks, we had a 2 year old as well. It was great, no housework, easy food, 2 year old running round in shorts and t shirt, baby in vest and nappy so hardly any washing. Older kids on the site entertained the 2 year old. One of my favourite holidays ever.

Oh the weather was great as well.

It's only a bargain if you want to holiday in a van and you have the time and money to convert it/tax and insure it. I know someone that has and enjoyed it, but he's done it himself. I wouldn't want to stay in a van myself though.

Of course a 500 quid van from early 2000 is an old banger! It might be in good working order but it’s a very weird thing to raffle.

I’d hate to have an huge unconverted and likely inconvertible old banger taking up any of my garden. Especially if my dh already had a van and a car.you are definitely not being remotely unreasonable.

You are being a real killjoy. It sounds like a great idea and I was taking my son camping at 18 months. He loved it. It's a great opportunity. He can rent a garage to put it in.

Well that was a drip feed and a half.
Initially I thought it was a £10,000+ new van.
Who raffles a van worth £500-£1,000?
Ignoring the parking issues I imagine it's going to cost more per year than it's worth in tax, MOT, insurance and repairs.

I suspect your DH "won" because very few others actually entered.

Are you always such a killjoy?

I thought you WBU until I read it's only worth 500-1000.

I doubt that will be trouble-free for long and I'm not sure the amount of money you would have to pump into converting it would be worthwhile.

I can't believe they'd raffle such an old can. Just tell him to scrap it. If he's worried about taking the piss out of the charity, he can donate the money to them.

If you don't have the money for a garage/storage space I doubt you'll have the money for conversion + MOT's + insurance + tax.

*van not can obviously

My dgs godparents have converted a van and take him for mini adventures ( he’s 7). Dgs loves the weekends near the beach or having a bbq in the countryside. On Sundays his parents meet up and have a day with them before taking him home.

I think you need to find a friend whose good at diy and get them to come over and encourage the conversion.

I doubt his tale of a charity raffle is true. He's bought an old banger of a van and that's how he's decided to spin it to you.

Comments on here are ridiculous - the issue is where the hell are you supposed to keep the bloody thing? I'm sure all the posters calling you a killjoy would love a clapped out van blocking their road.

I would not be happy at all with this. Sell the thing and use the money to start saving for a vw camper van if that's his dream.