AIBU to still be so angry about this

[eyesbiggerthanstomach]

I went to Bills restaurant today. It was only me and my nearly 2 year old DS.

I wasn't going to mention where we ate but I think it's relevant i.e. a family friendly place. It was around 3pm.

I sat down and there was a couple on the table next to me late 40s/early 50s or so. DS was in his high chair and as soon as he sat down he started moaning and crying. He was fairly loud but not hysterical or anything. I gave him my iPhone which didn't calm him down and he was insistent on having the sugar cubes from the jar on the table which I obviously couldn't give him in case he choked.

Anyway, I managed to get the attention of the waitress and ordered some bread. While I was ordering it I heard the man next to me say to the woman he was with something along the lines of they should have different sections in restaurants for children and then he went on to talk about how airlines were going to do the same thing.

By this point I would say DS was crying for 1-2 minutes max. So not long at all and as I say not piercing hysterical crying more loud whinging.

Waitress left. The man then turned to me in a strop and said "thank you for that". Meaning my DS who was still crying. I told him that if he didn't want to go to a family friendly restaurant then he should have gone to the Michelin star restaurant a few doors down.

They stayed quiet for a few mins and then he pipes up to her that "it's the parents' fault" and then loudly says to me that his mum would take him out when he was younger if he created a fuss.

I told him that we were just waiting for food and DS would be fine in a couple of minutes but is too young to be patient or understand but that as an adult he should be patient.

I mentioned it to the waitress who was back at my table and she offered to move them but they said they were fine where they were. She was lovely and offered to move me only if I wanted to but I said that they were the ones with the problem I wasn't moving.

Food arrived and DS was then as good as gold and there was no peep from him.

Inside I was really upset. I don't know why. Even now I feel a bit tense. The waitress apologised to me when they left. There was also a grandad who was with his adult children and granddaughter who cake up to me after he finished his meal and was really nice.

Inside I was so embarrassed though. I just wanted to run and hide and cry. I work f/t and am going through a separation. I like to spend my Saturdays with DS doing an activity and then having a nice lunch. Things like that though just make me dread being alone after my separation from DH as I will have to deal with this kind of crap on my own.

I still feel quite upset about it.

I would add (and this is the only thing that makes me feel better) that I later realised from the conversation he was having with his lady friend that they were on a first date! A part of me thinks his dickish behaviour was a stupid attempt to impress his lady with some kind of macho dominant behaviour I don't know but I still feel upset by the confrontation!

[Lighthearted] if you made a 2 yr old wait til 3pm for his lunch no wonder he was hangry

I think the guy was unreasonable to say anything. It doesn't sound like much if your child was just fussing for a minute or 2.

That said I dont think I would ever have taken my 2 yr old to a sit down restaurant of any kind - toddlers and restaurants are just a crap crap mix. I suppose imho i would see it that Bills being "family friendly" doesn't mean all its customers should tolerate crying/tantrumming toddlers. More that they should expect plenty of excited chatter, and accept things like toys or crayons on tables to occupy children

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland no I would be very hangry then too but he had had an adult size sandwich at 1:30pm! Otherwise he would have caused way more of a fuss!!

We got glared at in bloody McDonald's my son has special needs and was flapping and crowing like a cockerel though 🙄😂

No idea what Bills is but no way I would have taken DS to a restaurant when he was 2 ...It's not fair on the other diners

Why not? 2 year olds are people too.

It has a kids menu, so clearly welcoming of her business.

I’m sorry OP.

British people have really weird attitude to kids

My parents were like this until my DD came along so seem to be a bit more patient with kids now

I think your comments to him were patronising.
If your son was crying and the man said to you directly that he would be taken out, I probably would have apologised, smiled, maybe taken my son to the door to show him some cars/ dogs/ whatever. I don't think suggesting the man leave helped to be honest.

My husband and I work very hard and get a day off together about once every month or so. We go days without seeing each other because we work different shifts so don't even get to spend nights together a lot of the time.
When we DO see each other, we always go out for nice food and look forward to the time we have together and see it as a proper treat.

Do I get annoyed if there is a badly behaved child, noisy child or crying child near us when we go out for food? Yes, I'd be lying if I said I don't. Because it ruins a rare treat for us.

But if it's a family friendly place then that's our problem, to be honest, not anyone elses.
However, if it wasn't a 'child-friendly' place and this was happening, I'd definitely complain and would ask to move or leave.

I love Bills for a date misses point

Bills is a family friendly restaurant, as is giraffe. I think when a restaurant has kids menus, colouring pencils and an activity pack then be prepared to have children around you. If you want totally kid free then don’t Be a cheapskate taking your date to Bills, go to the Ritz or Clos Maggiore or somewhere along those lines

I’m not exactly kiddy friendly but a few minutes of fussing and grizzling isn’t the end of the world and would expect it in somewhere like bills.

A child screaming in my ear or walking over wanting to chat and play with me Whilst I’m trying to eat, now that’s a different matter

Stupid arseholes, ignore them, children sometimes cry especially when hungry. Every parent has been there apart from this that raise their children as robots! I'd have said to you, if you appeared stressed to not worry he'll be fine when his food arrives.

Sorry this happened to you. We just ate in a Bills over the Christmas holiday. The waitress was so lovely to our 7 year old and the food was great. I was quite impressed actually. I though it was one of those ersatz national chains but it does appear to be a medium sized business with an actual named owner.

You did that woman a favour.

You did nothing wrong

Some people are arseholes

(Bill's near me has no soft furnishings and is horribly loud any way, and the food quality has gone way down)

Glad the staff were good to you. I’d never heard of Bill’s but will go there now.

Look at it this way, you've saved that woman from having a second date with an arsehole.

I've taken all my DC out as soon as they could sit in a high chair. Not sure why you would wait until they were older than 2 like a PP said. That would make it a new, exciting experience at an age when they are inclined to tantrums.

I wish I'd have been there. I'd have proper enjoyed giving my 'it's a shame your mum didn't take YOU out from such a young age. You'd know how to behave in public if she had.' speech to Mr Knobhead.

Many years ago, a middle aged lady gave that speech to a moaning minie when I was out with my 3 under 5s. I'll never forget it. I'm now that middle aged woman. Mothers should stick together, no matter how old our children are.

I once had a woman glaring, sighing and staring at me because my baby whinged. We were at a harvester! I don’t really know what she expected. He started to cry a little and I wanted to leave so I started putting coats on etc. She’d just been seated in the booth behind us as I was getting us ready to leave, so she had to keep turning right round to display her annoyance. Some people enjoy being miserable and unpleasant.

The worst thing I ever experienced was at a Sainsbury’s cafe. I had taken my eldest son there when he was about three. The cafe is very large and there was only one other table occupied. My three year old was one of those children who is an absolute angel out in public, always sweet, well behaved and polite (sadly not always the case now we’re hitting the teen years). A middle aged man came in with his elderly mom and sat quite near to us, and the lady immediately started tutting and sighing. Every time he spoke to me, every time he picked up something on the table or moved... she was making lots of comments which I suspected were about us. I was quite used to that as a young parent who looked even younger so just ignoring. Then I let my son fetch his own cutlery. No other diners nearby, no servers bringing food and he picked his own cutlery, looking all proud of himself as he sensibly walked back. I heard her tut and a mention of “running wild” and her son just exploded at her. Started shouting at her that this is why he never bothers with her, why nobody wants to spend any time with her and why he doesn’t take her anywhere, because she’s a horrible, bitter woman who just wants to drag everyone else down with her. Pointed out that my son was doing absolutely nothing wrong and nobody else has a problem with it, only her because she can’t stand other people looking happy and having a nice time. It went on for a little while, with him loudly disagreeing with the things she had said about my parenting and my son. Ended with him saying that if she made one more comment he was leaving. It was so uncomfortable. Neither of them looked at me or acknowledged that I knew they were discussing us so I just pretended it wasn’t happening. There was an icy silence for the rest of their meal and she just sat there pouting!

This would have really wound me, to go a restaurant and find a screaming toddler next to me. I don’t blame him for being pissed off. As a parent myself though I would waited to see how the toddler was once it was being fed before huffing and puffing about it. You say your baby was as good as gold then.
I try to avoid places where families go but it’s not always possible. People take babies into even the most unlikely restaurants. I think it’s part of getting older though to have less patience with other peoples’ kids. I’m not surprised your baby was cranky if you were giving him his lunch at 3pm.

I’m not surprised your baby was cranky if you were giving him his lunch at 3pm.

Try reading the thread, he’d already had a sandwich at lunchtime.

@Jomarchsburntskirt the OP states the child wasn't screaming and that he'd had a sandwich at lunchtime. Try reading the thread, otherwise your responses are pointless.

It happens to all of us OP. I remember going into a cafe I used to go into twice a week with my DS he would have been just over 1. We had been to a baby group and called in to have some food before he fell asleep in the car on the way home, anyway I was really stressed, he had been playing up a bit at baby group and I was exhausted. I pit him in a high chair, ordered the food and sat down at a table, he started fussing and grumbling straight away, I tried giving him a drink that didnt work, I gave him my phone that didnt work, he was hungry and wanted his food. I was getting increasingly worked up and just trying to keep him calm by talking to him, i asked him a couple of times 'aww what's the matter?' Thinking he might at least stop whinging and I could get his attention, some old man just looked at me and said 'He isn't going to answer Haha' I told the staff to forget my order and left in floods of tears.

If it's a family restaurant then you have to expect noise from children - it goes with the territory.

I'm not a fan of Bills; been a couple of times and the food was so-so. However I would describe it as family friendly because it has high chars and kids menus and colouring packs and whatnot.

There's a big difference between a child running riot and its parents doing fuck all, and a child having a wee grizzle because its tired or hungry.

Oh and those saying that she should have taken DS out, you can't when you are on your own without leaving and cancelling your order. I remember taking my DD then 4 to McDonalds on my own, we had just sat down with the food when she needed a wee, I couldn't see a staff member to tell and we had to go quickly before my DD had an accident, took her to the toilet came back to find they had thrown our untouched food away.
That is just an example but if you walk away from your table leaving your stuff at it someone could steal your stuff or better yet decide to sit at the table because 'well you weren't sat here'

and then loudly says to me that his mum would take him out when he was younger if he created a fuss.

Should have told him it was a pity she wasn't there now then so you could eat your meal without listening to him whinging

At least the poor woman on a date with him can run for the hills now she's seen what he's like.

I think it would be nice if there were ‘child areas’ in restaurants, even family type restaurants so people can have a preference.
Having said that I don’t think your DS sounded like he was being an nuisance or crying for an extended period.

Bill's in our city has tables way too close together. I tend to choose elsewhere with my kids, esp if I'm alone. Somewhere with more space and background noise. Better for everyone