AIBU to still be so angry about this

[eyesbiggerthanstomach]

I went to Bills restaurant today. It was only me and my nearly 2 year old DS.

I wasn't going to mention where we ate but I think it's relevant i.e. a family friendly place. It was around 3pm.

I sat down and there was a couple on the table next to me late 40s/early 50s or so. DS was in his high chair and as soon as he sat down he started moaning and crying. He was fairly loud but not hysterical or anything. I gave him my iPhone which didn't calm him down and he was insistent on having the sugar cubes from the jar on the table which I obviously couldn't give him in case he choked.

Anyway, I managed to get the attention of the waitress and ordered some bread. While I was ordering it I heard the man next to me say to the woman he was with something along the lines of they should have different sections in restaurants for children and then he went on to talk about how airlines were going to do the same thing.

By this point I would say DS was crying for 1-2 minutes max. So not long at all and as I say not piercing hysterical crying more loud whinging.

Waitress left. The man then turned to me in a strop and said "thank you for that". Meaning my DS who was still crying. I told him that if he didn't want to go to a family friendly restaurant then he should have gone to the Michelin star restaurant a few doors down.

They stayed quiet for a few mins and then he pipes up to her that "it's the parents' fault" and then loudly says to me that his mum would take him out when he was younger if he created a fuss.

I told him that we were just waiting for food and DS would be fine in a couple of minutes but is too young to be patient or understand but that as an adult he should be patient.

I mentioned it to the waitress who was back at my table and she offered to move them but they said they were fine where they were. She was lovely and offered to move me only if I wanted to but I said that they were the ones with the problem I wasn't moving.

Food arrived and DS was then as good as gold and there was no peep from him.

Inside I was really upset. I don't know why. Even now I feel a bit tense. The waitress apologised to me when they left. There was also a grandad who was with his adult children and granddaughter who cake up to me after he finished his meal and was really nice.

Inside I was so embarrassed though. I just wanted to run and hide and cry. I work f/t and am going through a separation. I like to spend my Saturdays with DS doing an activity and then having a nice lunch. Things like that though just make me dread being alone after my separation from DH as I will have to deal with this kind of crap on my own.

I still feel quite upset about it.

I would add (and this is the only thing that makes me feel better) that I later realised from the conversation he was having with his lady friend that they were on a first date! A part of me thinks his dickish behaviour was a stupid attempt to impress his lady with some kind of macho dominant behaviour I don't know but I still feel upset by the confrontation!

Who goes to Bill’s for a first date? Bet she dumped his sorry arse!

Sorry to hear about your situation OP. You and your DS keep going put enjoying yourselves, don’t give a moment’s thought to the arseholes that would spoil it for you.

It is unlikely there will be a second date.

For those of you saying Bill’s isn’t a family restaurant, you either haven’t been in a while or you’ve had your eyes closed

I took DDs 5 and 1 last Saturday for a special breakfast - sat the baby in one of their many high chairs, ordered from their specific and lengthy kids’ menu for the two of them, and watched older DD play with the colouring pack that was given to her on arrival whilst baby DD played with some plastic cups that the staff brought out. It was a fantastic place for a FAMILY meal.

@eyesbiggerthanstomach massive well done; a) for going in the first place and b) for handling the situation with grace. These kind of trips are daunting, but the best way (imo) to teach children to behave appropriately in different social settings. It will mean you create lots of happy memories with your DS as a result

Ps fingers crossed she refused a second date with him on account of him being an arse!

He was a moron and YANBU. Do not give him another moment's thought. I do understand people getting frustrated when people take children to restaurants and the children misbehave continually (I.e. more than just children being children) and the parents do nothing (so making no effort to parent) especially in expensive places. I also do have sympathy where people are paying a lot in a non child typical place and children are brought there being disruptive. But this was a family restaurant and your DC was acting his age.

What a twat! I have encountered the same when traveling internationally with two year old twins and a four year old by myself. You can see people in their seats looking like terrified meerkats thinking “don’t sit near me!” And the hearts sinking of the ones near us as my kids settled into their seats. As we got off the plane 23 hrs later, everyone would have been telling them how good they were. (Seasoned little travellers who LOVED the in-flight entertainment and the nice ladies and gentlemen who brought them drinks and food in dinky trays.)

To the PP saying Bill's isn't a family restaurant

If it has any of the criteria below

1. High chairs
2. Kid's menu
3. Any family entertainment

It's a family restaurant
I had this in the train the other day. If you hate kids stay away from family friendly places. People act like they weren't children at some stage that other adults accommodated.

Kinda hoping to see a thread come up now, from a woman who went on a first date -- with a dickhead, who took her to Biill's.

YABU

To have given this twat head space!

DS grizzled for a few minutes 🤷🏻‍♀️Tiff jets do that when they’re hungry...

Who in their right mind goes to Bills for an (adult) date? Fine us you’re 15, but not at 50 FFS.

Look at it this way, you gave the woman a good idea of what he’s really like 🤣

God alone knows what Tiff jets are?

Bloody phone!

Toddlers

￣
... Tiff jets

😂😂😂

I love that!

It was a date. At Bills 😦 I somehow missed that bit. He won't be getting another one 😂

The fact that he did this is embarrassing in itself never mind doing it on a date. I can see why he’s single

Don’t understand why people are so anti-children sometimes, it’s one thing if they’re running all over the place causing chaos and the parent/s are just sitting on their phone not bothered, but in a situation like this just... wtf. there is such a lack of empathy and understanding these days.

The whole situation says more about the couple than it says about you. So please don't give it a second though. And don't let it put you off having special moments with your little one.

@MyLamaDontLikeYou
The whole situation says more about the couple than it says about you. So please don't give it a second though. And don't let it put you off having special moments with your little one.

At first I was going to say it says more about the man, anyway -- but then figured yes, the woman could have offered an understanding/apologetic glance towards the OP, at least - even of she (the date woman) had been too embarrassed to actually say anything about dickhead's behaviour.

@SterlingViolet funny you say that, I wrote 'the man' and changed it to 'the couple'. Because the woman could have challenged him, but chose not to. Which speaks of her character too. If you know what I mean.

I completely understand OP, it’s hard to shake the upset even though you know

a) the guy was a DICK
b) you did nothing wrong

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time and I’d love to use that guy’s testicles as a punchbag on your behalf.

I never ate out with my small children many years ago, as it was not the thing to do as a rule. It was only in the 1970 era, when me an family went to live in the Usa for three years. more money, and going about at all times was the norm, and so we ate out a lot. and it was great, as children, and people who were a 100 years old, were truly welcomed into any eating places.. I mean like so called posh Usa restaurants, and roadside diners.. every where in fact.

You can not ever know that your baby or child will be crying and whinging in a place wherever you may go, as it's the norm a great many times, so it's the way it is, and sod the moaners in life. !

“Well it’s a pity your mum isn’t here now, isn’t it? Maybe your companion can do the honours,” is what you should have said to him.

Out of mine I would have only taken one to a family friendly restaurant at that age. The others would not have been happy sitting at a high chair and wanted to run around, or would have wanted something they couldn’t have and then cracked it. I didn’t consider this acceptable for a family friendly restaurant. One child I would have taken quite happily as even if they had enough of the high chair they would have then been happy sitting on a lap and if they wanted something they couldn’t have their personality was easily distracted with something suitable instead without cracking it until they could be occupied with food or what not.

Well at least he has shown his date a reflection of what a awful man he is, hopefully she will run for the hills!
You will always find people like this who think children are a annoyance. You have as much right to be their as everyone else.

I was in a v.smart, upmarket restaurant recently for a friend’s special celebration, when in walked a couple with a young baby. The baby did stir a bit over the dining time and whilst the cries didn’t bother us (probably as parents ourselves?) you could see them getting looks and stared at from other diners. The parents tagged passing baby back and forward, just getting on with eating, oblivious to whether anyone had a problem with them. (We actually wanted to congratulate them for enjoying a nice meal whilst they still could, before ‘the lost years’ of dining out with toddlers and pre schoolers 🤣) I think you should be able to eat where you like with children, if the restaurant makes your money you feel welcome as a family.

He was inconsiderate but I wouldn't say that Bill's was a restaurant for young children specifically.

They sound like arseholes but I have been that grumpy person on occasion (never voice it though). Like the mother in the Drs office who let her child trumpet around for 45 minutes, getting into others bags, trying to talk to other patients etc. she also sung to him and read every book aloud. It was bloody annoying as I was really unwell and she was completely oblivious to how loud and annoying they were being.

They were rude. But also, I agree restaurants should have different sections. I love nothing more than when I go to a place like pizza hut and they group all the toddlers together and I don't have to worry about mine disturbing others.

Thanks for all the responses. The responses seem to indicate this type of thing seems to happen a lot.

Thanks for the support too...when I am on my own sometimes I start to doubt myself.

I agree with one of the pp about the family restaurant rules.

If it's a restaurant with a kids menu, I can take DS. Yes it's not the harvester or Pizza Hut but it's for families. I would also say that the other tables around us most of them had babies or children (but they were all quiet at the time).

Pre my DS I knew that certain restaurants at certain times of days were going to be full of children and if I wasn't in the mood for that we would go out for our meal later or somewhere else.

I do wonder how in Italy the young kids are out at all restaurants and it is acceptable. Is it because it is just more socially acceptable so the parents feel more comfortable doing it?

Once I realised they were on a first date I did think to myself what the actual ...?! He also complained his fish pie wasn't well cooked. Why you would you act like that on a first date? His female date was probably miffed as well that I highlighted there were a fancier place he could have taken her.