Would you have a baby at 45?

[84wood]

Hello

I am considering having another baby. We’ve already got a lovely DC who’s 5 and we’ve really enjoyed being parents. I had a trouble free pregnancy and had my child privately so I’m lucky to know all the best doctors and units. I’m also in very good health. It would be a bit of a financial struggle as DC is in a private school but not impossible. How would you feel? Would you try?
Thanks so much for reading and for any advice.

Thank you all for your comments. It is really appreciated. I am surprised by the division between older and younger mothers but it has been interesting to read. If you have tried for a baby post 43 I’d be keen to hear your experiences. Thanks again.

No chance. When I'm 45 my eldest will be 28
Even if I didn't have any kids I wouldn't have one at 45.

I think you are being rather presumptuous to think you even can have another at 45.

I absolutely would if I felt my family wasn’t complete.

And where I am, mothers aged 40+ are nothing remarkable

I’m surprised at the negativity. I don’t feel like I’ve markedly less energy than I did 5 years ago.

And as for seeing children grow up, the variation and life expectancy and quality is immense. My MIL is much fitter than me at 74 and if her genes are any indication will live another 20 years. My dear godmother just died tragically before her 60th birthday. Who can tell how it will go?

OP I hope you're also considering the comments from the children of older parents, as the wellbeing of the child (and young adult) should be the primary concern. It's not just about older mothers v younger mothers, and it's not just about the parents' experience.

I wouldn't have a baby over 40 probably over 35 tbh. But you do you

Of course we can’t tell how long we will live, bad luck strikes young people with health issues sometimes. But let’s not kid ourselves, the older we are, the more likely there will be health issues and at some point, death. That is surely not up for debate?

As long as you are fit and healthy it's fine x

Yes I would, if circumstances demanded it.
And no I wouldn't have children before age 30 either. (They were born in my early thirties).

Yes , I would . Had ds aged 42 and there is a 15 year gap between him and dd. I’m actually enjoying it more and feel a lot more confident .

I don't find it odd atall op. Plenty of women in my part of London are older mums, and my best friend just had a baby at 44. You do need to commit to being in the best shape that you can be health wise though. I also had my last at 38. Don't feel too old atall although I did the first year as he was a non sleeper and I was shattered. I think your DH might find it hard at 57 though. My dh was 49 when our last was born and that was really pushing it!

the older we are, the more likely there will be health issues and at some point, death. That is surely not up for debate?

Female life expectancy in the UK averages at 82.9. So on average, the child born to a 45 year old mother would be 37.9 when she dies (assuming LE stays the same).

I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

I’m not saying it is. I’m answering all the posts that say “well life is a lottery, my dad died at 40” etc etc. Yes life is a lottery but the older we get the more chance there is of health issues.

I would and I did (well 44 and 8 months).

No problems at all.

Good luck.

I had one at 21 then again at 30 and my last at 41 😳 I'm definitely a better parent now I'm older but my god it's tiring so it's a no from me lol

@45andfine.. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I had DS at 41 and would if it were poss, have another. I'm 47. We were not able to for reasons other than decline in fertility. I'm still ovulating so it's sad but that's how it is.
I always feel heartened when i hear about 40s pregnancies and births and i hope all goes well..very best wishes x

Yes life is a lottery but the older we get the more chance there is of health issues.

Sure, but if the child is on average 37.9 when the mother dies it feels like an odd thing to use as an argument against older mothers. That’s well into adulthood.

Having babies in your late 30s/40s is a choice though-many on here claiming they "couldn't " have had children younger. Why not

Ever heard of fertility problems?

Started trying at 31, multiple miscarriages, undiagnosed Ashermans. Finally had DS at 38, still trying for no 2 at 41. But obviously I’ve chosen all that

I’m not really using it as an argument against older mothers! I’ve explained what I meant and why I said it.

I’m not really using it as an argument against older mothers! I’ve explained what I meant and why I said it.

Okay, you’re not. But I presume that’s why it’s been brought up on this thread. No?

Yes life is a lottery but the older we get the more chance there is of health issues.

But if you have no health issues by 45 then you've statistically missed the health issues people develop earlier. Should 25-year olds with health problems/ who are obese etc not have babies either?

Ffs I’ve NEVER on this thread said that anyone at ANY age shouldn’t have a baby.

@ChristmasCarcass Because they hadn't met the right man with whom to have children?

It’s not the baby at 45 that’s the issue, it’s coping with a teenager when you’re 60. No way would I want to be doing that

So personally, I wouldn’t, but it’s definitely your choice and plenty of people have had babies at 45 - so no reason why not.

It’s not the baby at 45 that’s the issue, it’s coping with a teenager when you’re 60. No way would I want to be doing that

I am nearly 60 and will have at one teenager a few more years. Dd is still a teen

I don’t really see the problem