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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ‘be out’ when the Jehovah’s witnesses come back

289 replies

Lauriepop95 · 18/01/2020 10:30

As a background sort of story, I’m a super anxious person, I people please constantly and it is something I’m trying to change in the new year. There was a thread on here a few months ago about times you’ve been too polite to correct someone and therefore ended up with the wrong item (think it was about fish and chips)

Anyway, a month or so ago 2 Jehovah’s witnesses came knocking on my door. I was going out at the time and they could see this, they were really lovely ladies. They said they’ll come back another time and I said yep okay as I was trying to get DD out of the door and all the bags etc

Didn’t think anything of it

Well yesterday I got a knock at the door, it was the two JW. They handed me a leaflet and started explaining it, it was extremely windy and cold and I couldn’t hear what she was saying with the wind so loud. So I said they could come into my hallway. They were there about 10 minutes and I explained I wasn’t religious at all and I wasn’t really interested in learning about it.

They didn’t take no for an answer and started prying as to why I didn’t want to. After a while one of them said they will be in the area on Monday afternoon so will pop back for a longer chat.

I said I’m out Monday and I work 9-5 weekdays so sorry I can’t. She said “well I can come tomorrow evening I suppose! I couldn’t think of an excuse quick enough.

I feel that they wouldn’t take my “not interested” as an answer and I need to be a hell of a lot more assertive. But I really really struggle with this.

My only other option is to go out with DD for the evening (go to my mums or something) but then that’ll only be a temporary fix as they’ll come back another day.

How can I politely buy firmly get them to leave me alone? I have already told them I’m not interested and they are still coming. I feel incredibly uncomfortable at the thought of telling them sternly to leave me alone but I may have to suck it up and do it.

AIBU to just hide if I see them coming?

Anyone have any stories about encounters with JW?

OP posts:
WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 18/01/2020 11:05

Lucky you.

No, not me. them! They never get any of the “hilarious” stuff that people always claim to do on these threads when they are knocking doors. These people have been door knocking for years and see thousands of people. But none of this happens. Yet everyone on MN always does it. Odd.

SoupDragon · 18/01/2020 11:05

isn't it the Plymouth Brethren with no windows?

Getitwright · 18/01/2020 11:06

Ok, prime opportunity to start to deal with your anxiety....... Answer the door, smile, say thank you for calling but I am not interested, so please don’t knock again. Then close the door.
Stay calm, polite, resolve to be firm, but remember they are human beings with feelings but different beliefs. If they are persistent (never come across aJW who was) just be firmer still.

Staying calm and polite will help with your anxiety. Being firm but polite should make it clear you are not interested.

SoupDragon · 18/01/2020 11:06

No, not me. them!

Presumably they aren't the wanker ones who deserve it then. I always answer the door with my dog if I can't see who it is.

SerenDippitty · 18/01/2020 11:06

I would spend the evening in a back room that they can’t see from the front, all other lights out.

We haven’t had JWs for a while but our experience was that if you took a copy of The Watchtower they would just go away.

squeekums · 18/01/2020 11:07

Depending on my mood of the day
Tell them to fuck off
Tell them im actually a satanist and they just in time for the sacrafice
Ignore the door
Play marylin manson or rob zombie as loud as i can or the noise of loud porn

For the super brave among us, not me though
Answer the door naked, extra points for having a dildo in your hands lol

SoupDragon · 18/01/2020 11:07

But none of this happens. Yet everyone on MN always does it. Odd.

How is it odd that different people have different experiences? There are more people on MN than your friends see. Odd that you can't understand that.

Littlemeadow123 · 18/01/2020 11:08

Just don't answer the door.

Splodgetastic · 18/01/2020 11:08

@SoupDragon, I’ve no bloody idea what branch of the Sky Pixie worshippers have windows in their churches and which do not, but JW definitely don’t.

My dad is very much of the have a serious discussion with anyone who comes to the door school. He may be one of the only people who have made the JWs go away as he probably bored them with quotes from the bible (he is not particularly religious, but he was confirmed and seems to know the bible off by heart still) and he has also made a local councillor cry when banging on about local transport infrastructure.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 18/01/2020 11:09

Answer the door and say "thank you for taking time out to visit again but I've decided that it definitely isn't for me and I don't want to waste any more of your time. Have a lovely evening."
And close the door.

You invited them in. You allowed them to come back for another visit. There's no need to be nasty or rude.

If you can't do that, do as others have suggested and call and cancel the visit with a similar explanation to the one above.

notthemum · 18/01/2020 11:09

The first part of this my daughter saw on line. The next bit I added for effect.
JW. "Hello, we are Jehovahs Witnesses"
You. " Great are you here for the orgy ?"
When they look horrified and shake their heads, you say
"Oh Jesus, I'm sorry, got you confused with the Mormon lot. They should be here soon".
Then shut the door.
I can't wait for them to visit me. I'm definitely using this.

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 18/01/2020 11:10

I obviously live in a very polite part of the world Grin

I would spend the evening in a back room that they can’t see from the front, all other lights out.

Bonkers!

OutFoxxedByABadger · 18/01/2020 11:10

Put on your big girl pants.

"NO I'm not going to talk to you and please ensure you do not call here again. Thanks - shut door.

ButtonandPickle19 · 18/01/2020 11:12

Ask to go on the “do not call list” if you’re not interested. It means they won’t call back for at least 5 years.

ButtonandPickle19 · 18/01/2020 11:13

It’s polite and clear and a list they have on the top of the list of houses they are given out. It tells any witnesses who go to your area not to call at your house number again. You don’t need to be rude or upset them then, but it will stop them.

Alloftheboys · 18/01/2020 11:14

Ugh I got into a cycle with them where they’d chat and ask about the kids and invite me to their meetings.
In my defence I was a lonely SAHM at the time. They used to post The Watchtower through my door with a note on addressed to me.
Was very relieved when we moved Grin

JacquesHammer · 18/01/2020 11:15

You don’t need to be rude

They’re already displaying rudeness and arrogance. No need to bother being polite in dismissal.

zoobincan · 18/01/2020 11:16

Don't open the door or open the door, see it's them, close door.

Do not engage.

SoupDragon · 18/01/2020 11:16

I’ve no bloody idea what branch of the Sky Pixie worshippers have windows in their churches and which do not, but JW definitely don’t.

Odd. The one local to me does. Lots of them.

ShinyMe · 18/01/2020 11:16

If you do answer the door, the key bit is to say no thanks AND THEN SHUT THE DOOR. Straight away, without waiting for their answer. If you're prone to people please then the usual rules of conversation would be to wait for their response, expecting something along the lines of 'ok, sorry to bother you' type thing. But that opens up an expectation of a conversation, and then you're engaging with them even though you don't want to, and they're in charge of the conversation. No thank you, goodbye, door shut = you're in charge.

Piglet208 · 18/01/2020 11:16

Say what @GiveHerHellFromUs said. I did the same as you many years ago and ended up agreeing for the lady to call back after I'd read some of her literature. I was just being polite. When she came back I told her that on reading more about JW I was not interested. I thanked her for her time but did not wish to be called upon again. She was fine. We said goodbye and I wasn't bothered again. You can do this.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 18/01/2020 11:18

@JacquesHammer and normally I'd agree with you, but she invited them in and allowed them to come back so being rude that they're attending a pre-arranged visit is unnecessary

JacquesHammer · 18/01/2020 11:20

and normally I'd agree with you, but she invited them in and allowed them to come back so being rude that they're attending a pre-arranged visit is unnecessary

Nah, they’re pushy and obnoxious. No need for niceties.

Greenwingmemories · 18/01/2020 11:24

I just said that in my view most religions were misogynistic and why would I want to join an organisation that downgraded my own rights, that would be a crazy thing to do. I've never had anyone return.

Seriously OP, if you struggle with asserting yourself in the moment, write something down. For instance, 'Thank you so much for your offer, I know it was kindly meant. I'm really not interested in having further discussions but I wish you well. I will not be answering the door in future so as to not waste either of our times' And then hand it to the woman, smile and gently shut the door. Job done.

lynzpynz · 18/01/2020 11:24

If they can see you in your living room, wave and mouth 'Ive already told you im not interested - goodbye' and draw curtains. Who cares if you offend them? They don't appear to care about offending you when you've said to them you are not interested, or when they continue to question / argue with you about your beliefs on your own property despite saying you don't want to? You owe cold callers nothing and whilst it is nice to be polite, you've tried that already and they have decided they will simply browbeat you into listening to them by not listening to your wishes and keeping coming.

Definately don't hide from them or make up excuses, it's your home, they are unwanted visitors. Would you be this shy in telling a gas man who wanted to dispute with you about your bill and kept calling and calling when you'd said you didn't want to discuss it?

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