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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ‘be out’ when the Jehovah’s witnesses come back

289 replies

Lauriepop95 · 18/01/2020 10:30

As a background sort of story, I’m a super anxious person, I people please constantly and it is something I’m trying to change in the new year. There was a thread on here a few months ago about times you’ve been too polite to correct someone and therefore ended up with the wrong item (think it was about fish and chips)

Anyway, a month or so ago 2 Jehovah’s witnesses came knocking on my door. I was going out at the time and they could see this, they were really lovely ladies. They said they’ll come back another time and I said yep okay as I was trying to get DD out of the door and all the bags etc

Didn’t think anything of it

Well yesterday I got a knock at the door, it was the two JW. They handed me a leaflet and started explaining it, it was extremely windy and cold and I couldn’t hear what she was saying with the wind so loud. So I said they could come into my hallway. They were there about 10 minutes and I explained I wasn’t religious at all and I wasn’t really interested in learning about it.

They didn’t take no for an answer and started prying as to why I didn’t want to. After a while one of them said they will be in the area on Monday afternoon so will pop back for a longer chat.

I said I’m out Monday and I work 9-5 weekdays so sorry I can’t. She said “well I can come tomorrow evening I suppose! I couldn’t think of an excuse quick enough.

I feel that they wouldn’t take my “not interested” as an answer and I need to be a hell of a lot more assertive. But I really really struggle with this.

My only other option is to go out with DD for the evening (go to my mums or something) but then that’ll only be a temporary fix as they’ll come back another day.

How can I politely buy firmly get them to leave me alone? I have already told them I’m not interested and they are still coming. I feel incredibly uncomfortable at the thought of telling them sternly to leave me alone but I may have to suck it up and do it.

AIBU to just hide if I see them coming?

Anyone have any stories about encounters with JW?

OP posts:
CynsterBitch · 20/01/2020 23:35

I was raised JW, and my mother is still one. I always firmly but politely explain my background and that I’m not interested. They’ve always left it a few years before coming knocking again (standard practice, try again in case of new owners).
As a child I spent a lot of my time going from door to door, and became a fairly outgoing child and teenager because of it. I actually really miss the community, just a shame I don’t believe in any of it.

DollyDoneMore · 20/01/2020 23:38

“I don’t want to talk to you again. Please leave me alone.”

Tillygetsit · 21/01/2020 00:55

I always tell them I'm a witch with Buddhist leanings and shut the door.

todayisnottuesday · 21/01/2020 01:01

As others there have said - be direct. Say no thank you and ask them to add you to the list of those not to visit.

IME all the ‘I’m catholic/ have had a blood transfusion/ am a witch does not send them on their way, they just use it as a basis to start a debate.

GADDay · 21/01/2020 01:10

Being a people pleaser is one thing but you need to firmly say no thank you.

If they persist just tell them very clearly that you are not interested and that they should not call again.

OutOntheTilez · 21/01/2020 01:19

As PPs have said, just open the door, be direct, and say you’re not interested. If they keep at it, day after day, you can tell them that at this point you may have to contact the police.

On a side note: Many years ago I was on maternity leave with my first DC and my in-laws were staying for a week. In the middle of the day, there was a knock on the door and my MIL answered it. She came into the den and said, “There’s some lady at the door and she wants to speak to the owner of the house. She’s selling some cleaning product.”

I went to the door carrying my screaming DC and before the woman could open her mouth, I said, “Thank God you’re here. I’m new at this. Any idea what I need to do to fix this?” and held up crying DC. The saleslady bolted.

sleepylittlebunnies · 21/01/2020 01:26

The last time JWs were at my door they introduced themselves and glanced across to my kids’ plastic table and chairs. There’s 6 or 7 seats and they commented, you have children? I just replied that yes, I’m a strong Catholic Grin. My 3 go to Catholic school so not a complete lie. It did work though, we wished each other well and they were off.

antwacky · 21/01/2020 01:48

A friend of mine told her JW caller sorry I can't stop I have an appointment for a blood transfusion, friend says she's not seen them since.

Rachelfromfriends1 · 21/01/2020 01:51

Sorry but you need to deal with this head on. Tell them you’re not interested/you donate blood/you’re catholic/you need a transfusion or whatever but do you need to tell them to leave you alone

They’re persistent fuckers who will otherwise keep coming back. You might find it funny the first few instances but I assure you, it will get creepy as they continue to return every day/week

Nat6999 · 21/01/2020 01:52

Answer the door with an alcoholic drink in one hand & a cigarette in the other, both black balling offences with JW.

karalou2 · 21/01/2020 02:17

A few years ago I had a problem with an elderly male Jehova's Witness. I'm one of those who can't just say no and close the door. I saw this one coming but he saw me too. I told him. Politely that I didn't have much time - and got the stock answer that he'd call another time. To cut this short as I know we've all been there, he came back 5 times out of the next 7 days. In the end I said I wasn't making any more excuses, I'd told him I have my own faith and he had to stop calling. Off he went but 2 days later, I was in sitting in the back garden when he turned up, right behind my deck chair! He'd looked through the front window and saw me in the garden, so just came round! I'm not easily upset or offended but that was a step too far. I literally chased him out, screaming that he was nothing less than a pervert and I'd call the police if I saw him again.
I didn't see him again but it took me ages to relax afterwards. For the rest of the summer I closed the lounge curtains if I went in the garden and sat facing the house.
Where I live now, 'visitors' to the Court are supposed to report to the office and get permission to cold call. The JW's still creep in but the first person to see them sets a 'waterfall' warning in motion so they don't get far.
I honestly think it's time they were stopped from harassing people in their own homes.

cabbageking · 21/01/2020 02:18

JW drink alcohol

FordPrefect42 · 21/01/2020 02:19

I told them I was Catholic (I am...) and they still carried on talking to me and said they’d be back 🤣

Send help

karalou2 · 21/01/2020 02:22

Good luck with that one! I've tried it many times.... it's sad but mostly, you end up having to be rude ...

FordPrefect42 · 21/01/2020 02:24

I think I will have to be more direct next time. I live quite close to the local Kingdom Hall 😂

cabbageking · 21/01/2020 02:29

Saying you are a Catholic ( or other faith) shows you are hopefully a spiritual person and they will share commonality with you.

Remember the old Grange Hill adage " Just say No"

daisychain01 · 21/01/2020 02:41

JW are so rude.

Try and find the courage to answer the door and tell them to fuck off OP.

Oh, the irony!

memaymamo · 21/01/2020 05:43

Answer the door with an alcoholic drink in one hand & a cigarette in the other, both black balling offences with JW.

This is such ridiculous advice, similar to many other smug replies about how to 'scare' them off by saying you're Catholic. Confused

For starters, JW's don't have a no alcohol rule.

For another thing, if someone comes proselytising aren't they going to be excited to find a sinner to talk to? They literally want you to be non-JW so they can convert you. What's the point of running away when they meet someone who doesn't follow their religion? That's the reason they're there.

I do agree that religious cold calling is a horrible nuisance and they need to stop. I think the better approach is to contact their office/church and get your name on the do not call list.

bellinisurge · 21/01/2020 06:22

I'm a rubbish Catholic and said " No thanks, I'm a Catholic ". We live in a Catholic area so I'm not sure why they bother. It seems to have worked. We have a JW meeting house thing nearby- opposite the church , actually.

MaxAmount · 21/01/2020 10:42

I do agree that religious cold calling is a horrible nuisance and they need to stop. I think the better approach is to contact their office/church and get your name on the do not call list.

My Mil is a JW and this is the advice she gave me [I'm an unapologetic atheist] - ask them to put you on a do not call list - if you are still getting callers contact their office. She said they might call occasionally just to ask if you are the person who asked for a do not call and then they will leave - with no religious chat.

She's not rude - she believes she's doing you a favour - I know she is misguided and it's annoying when they come to your door but she means well. She always says to me that the younger generation are so lovely and polite when they say they are not interested - it's the middle -aged people who are incredibly aggressive and rude.

And finally - if you want to scare a JW - say you are a born again Christian - MIL is terrified of them! Grin

Urkiddingright · 21/01/2020 10:46

It’s your house, they have no right to enter so even if they can clearly see you through the window you still don’t have to answer the door. In future make a note of not answering the door unless you’re expecting someone or it’s a parcel. JW are like vampires, they won’t stop until you put an end to it.

Spidey66 · 21/01/2020 10:48

Just say you're not interested. I'm certain they're used to it.

Crawley65 · 21/01/2020 10:51

I’d just put a no cold callers sign on my door and ignore if they knock

BlueJava · 21/01/2020 10:53

In my experience unless you are pretty rude they keep returning so a mild "No thanks" or pretending you are out doesn't cut it. They seem to take it as a challenge. Fortunately we don't get them now as we live in a gated place, but at our previous house we had quite a few visits, not helped by DP being nice and polite. They took his politeness as interest and kept returning, even speaking to our teenage kids when they opened the door and we were there a few times as they'd turn up after school before we got home from work. I had to get very rude in order to get them to not come back. "Fuck off and never come back again! Have I made myself clear?" did work though.

MaxAmount · 21/01/2020 10:56

In my experience unless you are pretty rude they keep returning so a mild "No thanks" or pretending you are out doesn't cut it. NO need to be pretty rude - just ask to be marked down as a do not call they will not return.