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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to give her ticket she paid for?

477 replies

whatdoidorr · 15/01/2020 12:20

My "friend" last year caused a lot of trouble for me and refused to pay back a large sum of money.
We were meant to go on holiday but she stopped me from going (after I paid ) as she had the tickets.
Like the fool I am I forgave her.
Me ,her and another girl bought tickets to see a band in April.
I ordered the tickets on my card but she paid.
Anyway she's fell out with me again and has been telling lies about me to this other girl.
This other girl has told me I'm no longer welcome to go to this concert with them and will I post their two tickets.
Now il happily post this girls ticket but my "friend" owes me £400 and now she's made sure I can't go to this concert with them out of spite.
What do I do ?

OP posts:
AzraiL · 17/01/2020 22:00

I feel like I'm reading this again
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/.../3688382-do-i-try-and-get-her-back

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 17/01/2020 22:05

@AzraiL I think you're right! A poster on that thread said there had been a few threads before which seemed to be the same poster as well.

Really think you've hit the end now OP and have to let friend B go.

CountessWindyBottom · 17/01/2020 23:34

OP, in the nicest possible way, I suggest you go and thrash all of this out with a decent therapist. You seem a little obsessed with Friend B, especially given your thread history and this constant messaging and pleading will come across as stifling and manipulative to anyone who has been through an abusive relationship previously. Go and get some help and don’t have anything more to do with either of them.

Lweji · 18/01/2020 08:05

This whole thing made more sense when you said that these friends were more than friends.
It looks like you should separate friendships from romantic relationships as much as possible.
In any case, you do need go let go when they show their true colours.

Tiredemma · 18/01/2020 08:20

This is all bat shit crazy

Yorkshiretolondon · 18/01/2020 09:09

No offence but they are not your friend, I’m a teacher and this sounds like children in the playground. They are being bullies and v unkind. Give the ticket to the ‘friend’ who doesn’t owe you money and keep the other to recoup lost costs. You are not being as bad as them you are being kinder then them

rubyandbumpsmum · 18/01/2020 09:20

Just read the linked post. I'm sorry but you are the problem.
You need to back off it's almost stalkerish! No wonder they are saying your crazy....

PGtipsplease · 18/01/2020 09:29

How old are you again?

angieloumc · 18/01/2020 10:54

It changes things now you have said about your history with B. You really are coming across as a little obsessed, perhaps that's why A had concerns. That said, the way she has gone about things isn't right. You need to cut your losses and not try to contact either of them again.

rubyandbumpsmum · 18/01/2020 11:21

I'm also wondering if this 'money' owed to you was actually gifted at the time because you so desperately want to be involved. Yet only now it's gone sour you've decided it's an issue to hold against friend A.
Because this other thread was September just gone. So not much time since...

M3lon · 18/01/2020 11:21

Nothing about the additional backstory changes what I suggested at all.

You still need to post B the ticket, tell A she needs to settle her debt if she wants hers, then never talk to either of these two again.

Original poster
whatdoidorr · 18/01/2020 11:27

The money wasn't gifted.
She borrowed the money and said she would pay me back weekly.
Friend A has always put me down over the years but I put up with it because having someone was better than feeling alone.
She's too skinny
I hate her outfit
Oh she always dresses up too much
She loves herself etc
I don't love myself I wish I did.
I developed feelings for Friend b and friend A started manipulating but the more I tried to show friend B what she was like the more I kind of played into Friend A hands.
You all don't know me,but I think I am a nice person and wouldn't hurt anyone.
Friend A is vindictive (had affairs with her friends husband etc )
It seems the worse of a person you are,the better thought of you get.

OP posts:
SisterAgatha · 18/01/2020 13:10

If you are geniuinely feeling low, the person to speak about that to is not the one who has rejected you several times. She’s probably thinking wtf is she telling me for, all I want is my ticket. Sorry to be harsh with you but making someone feel guilty is not the way to win hearts and minds.

Cheesespreading · 18/01/2020 14:50

Op trying to show someone else that someone they know is abusive or manipulative etc doesn’t tend to go down well. Don’t try and show her she will see it eventually. I witnessed someone who is manipulative etc fall when those around them started to see it for themselves. That happened a bit after I went no contact and gave up trying to tell others how they were.

Branleuse · 18/01/2020 14:55

OP, I think the fact that friend B has treated you badly makes me even more sure that you should tell them both to fuck off and then sell the tickets. Things get lost in the post all the time.

Original poster
whatdoidorr · 18/01/2020 15:46

That's what my other friend said.
Let karma take care of friend A.
I used to pick her kids up from school twice a week,pop to the shops for her in the bad weather.
It just feels like she never give a shit snout our friendship.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatdoidorr · 18/01/2020 17:16

@Cheesespreading I know I think I've been wasting my time.
Eventually her true colours will show I hope

OP posts:
Nearly47 · 18/01/2020 19:24

OP you need to move away and be more your own woman. It is OK to be alone for a while. And I don't think these feelings you claim to have for this woman are healthy. It shouldn't be this complicated. Let it go.

LIZS · 18/01/2020 21:06

has this situation been ongoing for several months? When did you buy the tickets? If so yabu to leave it this long to make a decision, or were you hoping it would force them include you again. You seem sadly desperate for their good opinion, when neither are worth it. Time to find some new friends who value you and won't see you as a bank.

Tistheseason17 · 19/01/2020 08:33

OP - I think you would benefit from counselling.
Your self worth is so low you are permitting this to happen - i suspect it will again, too.

kat83enzo · 19/01/2020 11:05

Thing is your so called mate isn't a mate but then again there are always three sides to the story... An here we only know yours... Imma hold judgement

kat83enzo · 19/01/2020 11:06

So you basically stirred between them an it's backfired from your last response...

GreenTulips · 19/01/2020 11:11

It’s not about you not being a nice person, of coarse you are. But nice people tend to get trodden on, they get used and abused.

These people aren’t your friends and while you’ve been busy with them you haven’t looked for nice friendships.

You allow them to treat you badly by being a people pleaser. You need to think about yourself first. No more Mrs nice guy.

angieloumc · 19/01/2020 12:43

kat3enzo I absolutely agree that's what has happened and the former friends have got wise to it. Not that their behaviour is right but gives another slant to it.

Teaandcake1000 · 19/01/2020 15:29

This isn’t the right forum for this OP

You sound very low, confused and isolated.

Maybe you could visit your GP and ask for a Referral for some
Counseling as maybe you could do with some support.

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