To think the school have lost the plot

[Hardymonica]

I am so cross with the staff at my daughter’s primary school. Today they set up a fake incident where it appeared that someone had vandalised the girls toilets. The children were tasked with writing a report about it and it was then revealed at the end of the day that the teachers set it up.

My daughter is seven, she understands logically it was the teachers who did it but it has really unsettled her. For the whole day she was led to believe that school was unsafe and the impact of that has stayed with her. She is anxious about using the toilet at school on her own now and won’t be in a room on her own at home. She gets very distressed at bedtime, saying she’s frightened of being on her own in case intruders come.

I’ve had to send a message to the school to let them know and ask them to make sure she’s using the toilet. They are aware that she suffered anxiety last year but obviously weren’t thinking of the more sensitive children when they planned this bizarre thing. I’ve asked them to let us know in advance in future if they’re planning a pretend event. I’m sure they could have thought of a more positive incident to use to inspire them to write.

Aibu to think this was a bizarre idea for an activity and to feel angry they didn’t think about the potential effects on certain children?

I have a vested interest as my DD's last year at Primary was blighted by a similar event. Despite knowing they had children with ASD in their classes, and that my DD had ASD - they decided to play n April Fool trick. They told the already stressed year 6's that they had to learn Chinese for their SATs.
My DD told them it wasn't true - but to keep the joke going all of the adults insisted it was. Until she totally lost it! And as a result of throwing things (exercise books) she was banned from the year 6 trip.
If anyone had had any sense they would have withdrawn her or let her in on the joke or an adult taken her out to explain the "joke".
She lost all trust in the adults at school from that point. And I don't think they understood or empathised. To her it was as if you went into work tomorrow and everyone was speaking a made up language - only worse.

Oh and at secondary my DD was forewarned about fire drills, and we put special measures in for lockdown drills.

Teachers will do anything to engage kids in their learning. It's so important to have a 'hook' at the start of a lesson/ topic. We acted out a little scene a while back where someone burst in and 'stole' the class teacher's mobile phone, but they could see who it was and our over acting made it obvious it wasn't real. It got their attention and they were able to write better newspaper reports (about the incident) than ever before. This was year 6 and they all knew it wasn't real almost straight away but it did grab their attention.
I'm sorry that your DDs school misjudged it, keeping it going all day and, at age 7, it is understandable that your daughter felt upset.

Wow, this bought back a totally forgotten memory of my school that did this when I was about 7/8. Going into class one day, and tables were toppled, windows were covered in mud, one of the teachers had a bandage on her head, and the whole classroom was in dissarray, and we were told that we had had a break in, and we had to look for clues and try to work out how they had gotten in, how many different shaped footprints there were, if there was any evidence left behind.
I remember a boy said ' if its a real crime scene we should be sent home!'
But I also remember feeling unsettled and quite scared that something had happened in such a safe haven and I was unsure what to do about it.
Seems daft now, but to a young child, it can be very scary. Now I think back there were a millon ways they could have done the same thing without making the kids think at first think there was actually a break in, which is what left everyone feeling nervous and on edge, don't think its fair on youngsters. x

If parents were more reasonable at home and preparing their children better, there would be none of this "anxiety" and "upset"

I can assure you, the anxiety our daughter lives with is not a product of her upbringing. Do you even understand mental health issues?

Both my DC would probably find this quite amusing/exciting. They'd know they weren't responsible and probably only vaguely believe it but I do get that they are likely in the minority. I remember reading about one somewhere where the teachers gathered the children up and told them there was going to be a war and they had to be evacuated to the country and that they wouldn't see their mum and dad before they left... that was horrific.

That's like saying the reason my son's have ASD is because I suck at parenting. I DO kinda suck at it. But there's this thing called genetics?

Mollybutton Sorry to hear about your DD - hope she's better off at secondary.

Insane. Lying to kids to scare them? I would have to speak up about this. It’s not on.

However, DH remembers a physics lesson in 6th form when his teacher pretended to have been mind controlled by aliens and the class had to solve problems and come up with the solution before they attacked at the end of class. She could only help by giving cryptic clues the aliens wouldn't get.

I'm sorry your dd was upset but I have to say I am surprised how many people think this was foreseeable. It sounds a very mild "trick" to me.

God it’s bullshit isn’t it?! All this ‘creativity’ from the teachers and we re still bottom of the European league for achievement. Just focus on being literate, numerate, being kind and self belief and we ll all be a lot happier.

Oh for the love of god. There are already enough children with bladder and bowel problems triggered by fear of using school toilets without deliberately trying to cause more of the same. I despair.

My DD's school is big on 'hooks'. They have one for every new topic. But they have never been scary or upsetting. I think there is no need for that.

Critical thinking is great but most 7yos still believe in Father Christmas.

I don't think I really became confident in assessing and rejecting claims made with sincerity, by trusted adults, until I was about eleven. Up until then, while I could spot a joke, exaggeration, or a lie, if a trusted adult believed something odd, or said they did with sincerity, I couldn't quite bring myself to reject it wholeheartedly.

Though the explanation we had for a suitably light, fun version of this sort of thing at dc's school was that it was about inference - deducing facts from incomplete or indirect implication. Not about critical analysis and possible rejection of evidence. I'm sure such scenarios are used in that way too.

When I was about 11/12, we were told that the school (and us!) had been contaminated by the water and would not be allowed to leave for a few weeks There was a plan that our parents would have to come and hand over what items we thought we would need to the teachers at the gates, as we didn't want to contaminate them too. We were planning on where in the school we would have to sleep and how we were going to survive with minimal water to share.

I'm 42 now and I still remember the sinking feeling of being told I wouldn't be able to see my parents

"I often think that despite training and supposed inclusivity, most teachers, by the nature of what they do, are not going to be people who have a clue what it’s like to be anxious, on the spectrum or introverted, otherwise they wouldn’t be teachers."
I suspect you don't know many teachers … anxiety seems to be a very common characteristic in every staff room where I have worked.

I’m glad I clicked on this thread as it explains the frankly batshit episode in my DD’s school atm. After reading this it is clearly one of these ‘hooks’. Someone had been writing (friendly) letters to the school and leaving clues etc. It has been dragging on since the beginning of term. My DD is going to be so upset when she finds out it isn’t real . My older DD has tried to tell her it isn’t real but she doesn’t believe her as the teachers have shown her the letters . I won’t make a fuss but equally will expect the school to deal with a load of upset children when the shit hits the fan.

In your case OP I would be making a fuss. Absolutely ridiculous to make toilets feel unsafe. I agree with a PP who suggested involving ERIC. I am not that parent but there are enough problems with school toilets without voluntarily creating more!

@Rhaader you described how, In year 8 we had a new RE teacher who segregated the class by race, gave chocolate to the blonde blue eyed kids, and made all the kids with brown hair do lines. It turned out that it was a “teaching moment” about discrimination and only lasted one lesson but it really made me hate her for a long time!

I expect the teacher had heard about Jane Elliott's blue eyes-brown eyes experiment. She first carried it out with the day after Martin Luther King's assassination to try to help her class understand about racism.

While I think scary hooks for small children are asking for trouble, I think it's going a bit far to say the vast majority of children are going to be upset by friendly letters, dragon's eggs etc. Most will understand it's pretend and even for the the few who really believe, disappointment is not traumatic. It's a little hypocritical from all the parents who encourage their kids to believe in Santa or the tooth fairy to criticise teachers for encouraging children to use their imaginations.

#dramatic

Fire drills aren’t real either - should they be cancelled in case they cause PTSD?

@CathInTheDaytime: I often think that despite training and supposed inclusivity, most teachers, by the nature of what they do, are not going to be people who have a clue what it’s like to be anxious, on the spectrum or introverted, otherwise they wouldn’t be teachers.

I'm an introverted primary school teacher with ASD. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

btw, I voted YNBU for the OP. It was a ridiculous and badly thought out hook.

A friend mentioned her children's school had done something similar with her son's class. They had a dragon hunt and had to look for clues. I guess most teachers would expect it to be fun and exciting for the kids but her son was so scared when he got home, she couldn't get him off to bed that night.

I do think the toilet one is a bit weird though. KS1 kids are notoriously bad for flushing toilets and remembering they need to go as it is.

I did something similar before I had my own kids when I first started teaching - it was many years ago and was something about getting a letter from the giant in jack and the beanstalk - I can’t remember the details but I remember we only ‘revealed’ at the end of the day and two parents complained - my young colleague and I were mortified, we’d tried so hard to make it fun. I’m sure they didn’t mean any harm, so yes, do tell them, but temper that the intentions were good.

@CathInTheDaytime: I often think that despite training and supposed inclusivity, most teachers, by the nature of what they do, are not going to be people who have a clue what it’s like to be anxious, on the spectrum or introverted, otherwise they wouldn’t be teachers*

Not true at all - I’ve come across 1 or 2 in every school who can’t cope having day to day dialogue with adults.