To think the school have lost the plot

[Hardymonica]

I am so cross with the staff at my daughter’s primary school. Today they set up a fake incident where it appeared that someone had vandalised the girls toilets. The children were tasked with writing a report about it and it was then revealed at the end of the day that the teachers set it up.

My daughter is seven, she understands logically it was the teachers who did it but it has really unsettled her. For the whole day she was led to believe that school was unsafe and the impact of that has stayed with her. She is anxious about using the toilet at school on her own now and won’t be in a room on her own at home. She gets very distressed at bedtime, saying she’s frightened of being on her own in case intruders come.

I’ve had to send a message to the school to let them know and ask them to make sure she’s using the toilet. They are aware that she suffered anxiety last year but obviously weren’t thinking of the more sensitive children when they planned this bizarre thing. I’ve asked them to let us know in advance in future if they’re planning a pretend event. I’m sure they could have thought of a more positive incident to use to inspire them to write.

Aibu to think this was a bizarre idea for an activity and to feel angry they didn’t think about the potential effects on certain children?

Hardymonica - yes, they should have thought more about the individual children in the class. Some children do not get the whole suspension of disbelief thing. Tbh, though, the problem with that activity is not that the idea was bizarre or fantastical, but that it was too believable. Toilets are commonly vandalised, and children's toilets in most primary schools look like they have been vandalised by about 9.30am every day, anyway. So, unless the teachers sprayed fake blood everywhere, graffitied the walls with obscenities, broke down a door and smashed the mirrors, they probably didn’t look that different from usual!

YANBU. My DS is Y3, youngest in the year, and hasn't done anything like this thankfully! There are quite a few sensitive children in his class so I'm hoping they'd think twice! Y3 is far too young to do fake burglaries and aliens and set it up as real. Year 5/6 maybe!!

Wow. What will you do when/if they practice invasion drills?

I’m so glad I don’t work in one of these schools. We use The Power of Reading, so all the children’s writing is based on books which they know are fictional. Doesn’t seem to damage their creativity...

TBF Invasion Drills are very different - they are massively played down for the DC. It mostly involves doing something at a time and part of the school it wouldn't normally happen in. Even most DC with ASD cope perfectly well.

I’ve heard of several things like this and I think it’s so shit. They talk the talk about being inclusive and understanding the needs of kids with asd, bad anxiety etc. - or who are just a bit literal minded or sensitive. Then they do stuff that is really upsetting for them and really confuses them about what is safe and when it’s ok to lie.

Our school hasn’t done this but I know my dc would have reacted similarly. You’re right to take it up with them.

I often think that despite training and supposed inclusivity, most teachers, by the nature of what they do, are not going to be people who have a clue what it’s like to be anxious, on the spectrum or introverted, otherwise they wouldn’t be teachers.

Yep mine did something similar in year 3. to enable them to be detectives they pretended the school had been burgled and went hunting for clues and the criminal. They all thought it was massive fun, no idea if they knew it was a set up, I assumed so at the time.
I agree with a pp that resilience is lacking in many children these days, not sure if the solution would be to warn them in advance it was fake or not. Children should not be feeling unsafe in school though.

DC Y5 class this year were studying WWII and the first day started with making gas masks and an air raid with the children hiding under desks. My child loved it and it really got them hooked into the topic especially the parts on evacuees. I think knowing the class and the background they will have planned it carefully and I didn’t hear of any issues with it. It can work in the right situation.

When I was at primary, the teacher took us on a ghost walk into a disused part of the building. They turned all the lights off and he had a torch under his chin. He led us all down a dark corridor telling us a story about an old woman who haunted the building, then had another teacher jump out of a room at us.

Cue much wailing and 30 kids trying to run through a doorway at the same time. Not sure which part of the curriculum that was either!

@NearlyGranny oh that's so sad 😞

I will never forget our university doing a similar experiment. I had been 18 for three weeks, was living in a new city away from home for the first time and the tutors thought it would be a good team building day.

It was extremely detailed and harrowing involving another 'student' being a victim and us being interviewed about what we had seen, I'm not sure that even now at 40 I'd have the experience to realise that it wasn't real. They went to insane detail.

As a group of 20 we went to the Deen two weeks later and said we needed new tutors, there was zero trust in them and a student who had been abused as a child left the course. We then didn't go to another session with them and the university were forced to give us new teachers. Sadly they weren't sacked.

I view this as unethical experimenting on people in a position of power and it shouldn't happen in any environment.

It’s not about resilience. You can learn resilience by understanding how emotions work and things you can do to pick yourself up. You can also enjoy creative imaginary scenarios of all kinds without being deliberately tricked.

I’d like to see the people who come up with this crap get home to find their house surrounded by police tape to be told they’ve been burgled and vandalised, and then be told it’s all fun and creative and they should be more resilient.

Our school did this kind of thing in Yr 3 - introduced Vikings topic with the teacher suddenly yelling that the viking invaders were coming, run, hide! Cue several children in tears, and the class very unsettled.

@lunar1 my dad worked at a university that did similar, only it was a murder scene for the forensic students. The students knew, but nobody briefed the poor cleaner lady who came in early and turned the lights on. She genuinely thought someone had been attacked and was completely traumatised.

I think that’s awful of she felt threatened and unsafe. Bad judgment on the teachers part.

My dd aged 14 spent 3 hours locked away in hiding at school once when a drill went wrong as the wrong alarm was set off (intruder not fire) and the class teacher then wasn’t sure but said to hide and if a drill they get a email which hadn’t been sent so she had to assume it was real. Then the fire alarm was also set off and again no email

The class spent all that time with the terrified teacher being silent and worried they would die they heard footsteps and kept quiet. They were being looked for but there was no phone signal where they had hidden
It was only when over 3 hours later people were shouting for them they came out traumatised all the girls shaking

We didn’t even get an apology

The poor cleaner @Casander! People really don't think these things through properly.

I remember when I was in junior school (about 45 years ago!!!) there was a genuine break in to one of the pre fab classrooms, I was really upset and scared about it I remember the teachers told us they used a skeleton key and I truly remember that for years I thought someone would use a skeleton key to get into our house.

Maybe they are trying to get them used to what they will be doing in Yr6?
Both my kids had a day at a special 'harzard awareness' course with the school.
They had to walk (as a pair) down a dark alleyway and come across different scenarios. Bully with knife or a hurt person and they had to 'deal' with the situation.
Basically a course on how keep safe in the big bad world.

DD's year did a scenario in which the Head's toffees had gone missing. They had to interview staff, hunt for clues, write report and name the suspects (it was made clear to them from the start that no children were under suspicion). It turned out to be the adored TA so she was totally forgiven!

We've had the aliens. My dd was very sceptical about the whole scenario but still felt seriously betrayed as well once it was confirmed it had been a fake...

The Christmas is Cancelled event at senior school had a greater impact!

The choice of the girls' toilets is an odd one, I think. I would certainly be complaining.

The only one of those scenarios i can be sure my 6 nearly 7 year old would be ok with is the elf one, he might like the alien one but that could go either way

He has asd as do at least 3 other dc i know of in his year. One of his friends is quite anxious and i can imagine any type of break in/vandalism would really unsettle her too

@Gazelda, that sounds like a sensible scenario!

@ImGenderfree - presumably the dc knew that WW2 has passed and they were in no danger; they were imagining what it must have felt like. That's totally different to being told that a crime has been committed in your school now and it's all real.

OP, good idea to talk to the school so they know the effect of what they have done. Agree that some kids would be fine with this and would enjoy it but that others would just freak out.

Surely there must be alternative scenarios they could have used to get across the same message but without the fear? Like @Gazelda's one above.

I don't think this about building resilience. l'd hate to come home from work and find police tape all over my house and to think that my house had been 'burgled' as a 'joke'

WTF, that's awful!

It implies a level of smug complacency about what children's experiences will have been, doesn't it? Obviously any child might be upset to think their nice safe school had been vandalised, but some children may have actually had that experience at home (it's not as if break-ins never happen), and it would be particularly awful for them.

I find it peculiar to associate this with children becoming 'resilient'. That implies that children are all pampered little snowflakes, and very sadly, this really isn't the case. There are an awful lot of children who've seen some quite grim and scary things by the age of 7, and it's not always the ones who come flagged up on the teacher's register as having had a rough time, either.

Years ago the local primary got the little ones (age 4/5) to make 'passports'. They told them they were going on an aeroplane. Some of the little ones cried because they thought they wouldn't see their mummies. They had to take a packed lunch and were all convinced that they were going out of school.
All the parents were annoyed as they hadn't been told anything and when I mentioned to child's (very young) teacher that the children had been upset and thought it was real she laughed and said I know. She appeared to be extremely pleased with herself that she had persuaded them that this was the truth.
The children were at a stage where they could manage pretend play but as she was a grown up and so insistant they believed her. One child told me they wouldn't believe what she told them again.