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Original poster

Breeder refusing to give me puppy or my money back

506 replies

Ownerofsmallpeople · 14/01/2020 18:30

I’m not sure if I’m being u or where I stand on this.
DH and I have decided to get a puppy early feb. We have a 2 year old and another on the way but not due til summer. We have wanted a dog for ages and decided now is the best time as my DC has just started full time nursery, I’m not in work so I have plenty of time during the day to train and spend time with the puppy. For a few weeks after I give birth DH will be taking over walks but I will still be doing the training during the day and newborn will be joining me on school runs etc so my routine doesn’t change really. I’ve raised puppies before so I know what it entails and also obviously had a newborn before so I don’t see any great issues.
We went to view some puppies a couple of weeks ago with DC, chose a specific puppy, breeder was happy discussing diet and training etc and then asked for a deposit. I paid the deposit via bank transfer the next morning. She has now text me last night and said she had one of her friends (who is also friends with me via Facebook) to have a look at my Facebook profile and show her what was on it and she has seen that I’m pregnant and now is telling me I’m “deceitful” and she “can’t trust me with her puppy”. I didn’t think it was a huge deal and I was required to tell her I was pregnant? Obviously the puppy is going to a good home with us so I don’t see an issue. I completely understand wanting your puppies to go to a good home that will look after them but I wouldn’t have thought having a baby 6 months after purchasing a puppy was a big deal.
The conversation went on for about 20 minutes of her basically patronising me and saying that in 6 months I would be calling her to take the dog back. I eventually said to her to either tell me she’s happy for the puppy to come to us or she’s not happy for the puppy to come to us, she replied “I’ll speak to my partner and decide”. I have not heard from her yet so I text her again saying she needs to let me know or send me my money back, she has read the message and ignored it.
Am I in the wrong? What would you do?

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 14/01/2020 20:18

I’d be deleting those 15 friends off FB if they’re just fairly casual friends.

She has to give you the deposit back and she would lose any small claims court case. Good job you paid by bank transfer as it’s easily proveable.

namechangenewness · 14/01/2020 20:18

Get the money back and go to a reputable breeder.

namechangenewness · 14/01/2020 20:20

Oh and block those 15 people from seeing your posts if you can't delete them.

carly2803 · 14/01/2020 20:21

she hasnt refused to give you money back or the pupy

shes a back yard breeder clearly. No decent breeder would have a bitch out on a run in season surely?

anyhow, that aside, your fucking nuts to get a puppy with a newborn and toddler.
that is the only redeeming feature of the dogowner

londonrach · 14/01/2020 20:21

Any decent breeder would refuse to sell you a puppy. However deposit needs to be returned. Please dont think of getting a puppy now until your baby is an school age child.

needsahouseboy · 14/01/2020 20:23

I got my dog when I was pregnant with my son. Had plenty of time to train him and made me get out of the house for a walk every day once he was born and I was suffering with PTSD and PND.

Wereallsquare · 14/01/2020 20:26

You are unreasonable to get a puppy with a baby on the way and a toddler. You are unreasonable for supporting breeders when there are so many dogs in shelters.

The breeder is being unreasonable I'm not returning your money.

Think about waiting until your children are older to get a nice rescue dog.

Booboostwo · 14/01/2020 20:28

You say you know what you are doing? You are pregnant, have a toddler and getting a puppy from a randomer who let her bitch get pregnant at the park. You sound really clued up about dog ownership. 🤣🤣🤣

messolini9 · 14/01/2020 20:28

OP I think it’s up to you to decide whether you could handle a puppy and a baby around the same time and I would be annoyed by someone telling me that they wouldn’t allow it

Whether I also say this as someone who has previously bred puppies or not @Malteserdiet, you would have no grounds for annoyance at a breeder who has decided to set her own parameters for what constitutes a buyer she wishes to sell to.

The breeder has clearly decided that OP cannot handle a toddler, a newborn, & a pup all at once. As it's the breeder's pup, the breeder gets to decide, not the OP. Annoyance about that is immaterial.

BurMaMa2 · 14/01/2020 20:34

A mongrel puppy of unknown health, temperament, and adult size is not necessarily safe around a baby and a toddler. Hold our for your deposit.

SirVixofVixHall · 14/01/2020 20:37

I could not have coped with a puppy as well as a baby and a toddler. I had a nine year old dog then, and he did get rather ignored for a while, compared to the life he’d had pre babies. He always had his walks, but he didn’t have much attention, and new puppies need lots of attention.
Your new baby might be a bad sleeper, leaving you shattered, trying to deal with a toddler, the new baby, and a puppy who will be chewing things , with lots of energy. Absolutely crazy time to get a pup.

RB68 · 14/01/2020 20:39

She is not a breeder

She is right re it being too much, her approach to you about being deceitful etc was wrong - she just needed to say she wasn't aware you are pregnant etc and that changes things - she should apologise but say not prepared to let pup go to you and refund your money.

I think it may be a lucky escape for you to be honest, she is a back yarder, there haven't been the proper checks or health checks etc so you cannot be sure what you are getting etc and whilst she is saying she would take a dog back etc there is no guarantee this is not a business for her etc

You need to give her time to respond but to be honest I would be messaging her to say that you and partner have decided you just want a refund now

messolini9 · 14/01/2020 20:39

so far she's been pretty unprofessional going in all guns blazing and throwing accusations around without discussing it like adults.

@SmileyClare where are you getting this from?

For a start, the puppy seller doesnt have a "profession" to represent, as she is not a breeder, just a friend of a friend whose bitch got knocked up.

The OP also clearly mentioned a 20 minute phone call, so far from not "discussing it like adults" obviously there has been plenty of discussion time. The puppy owner also has not thrown accusations - she has correctly pointed out that OP did not fully disclose her family crcumstances i.e. baby on the way, & has merely stated that had the OP disclosed the pregnancy, that the puppy owner would not have agreed to let her have a pup, & now does not wish to sell.

That's not accusations - that's facts.
Not sure there were any blazing guns either, or why you need to put that spin on things.

lborgia · 14/01/2020 20:39

SHE IS NOT A DOG BREEDER!!!

Her dog allegedly got pregnant at the park.

This has got scam written all over it.

Meanwhile, I think you might want to rethink the idea of your eldest being sent to fulltime nursery coinciding with new baby. Sends out a very sad message to your toddler.

Fairylea · 14/01/2020 20:45

Well all this sounds like a bit of a shitshow from start to finish.

She’s probably thinking about what she wants to do. I would try and get your money back and hold off of getting any puppy until your newborn baby is a lot older... I think you’re vastly underestimating the amount of stress and work involved with 2 young children on their alone let alone throwing in a puppy as well...!

Dutchesss · 14/01/2020 20:47

I have no doubts you'll get your money back. You didn't pay cash so you have a receipt of payment.

Please don't get a puppy, puppies don't mix well with newborns. Having two children is very different to having one.

MoreSweetcorn · 14/01/2020 20:49

If it's a backyard breeder, you won't get your money back, short of a lawsuit.

A reputable breeder would have discussed your family and any impending future changes.

Tough shit, quite frankly

PurpleFlower1983 · 14/01/2020 20:54

YANBU for wanting your money back but YABU for committing to a puppy at this time I think.

FATEdestiny · 14/01/2020 20:54

This has scam written all over it.

I got our pup when my youngest child was 6 months old (now 5yo). It's definitely not un-doable but is hard work. I'm a SAHM though, an experienced dog owner, have trained from puppy before and did a lot of research to find a reputable breeder.

(And incidentally, said reputable cocker spaniel breeder did not consider refusing my sale because I had a baby. Good breeders take the time to see the bigger picture for any individual)

An unplanned litter and the breeder is taking the moral high ground? Unbelievable cheek! I reckon it's a take your money and run scam.

If you do decide to get a pup with a baby. The hardest time for us were the simultaneous toddler/adolescent months - when pup was 9 months through to about 2 years old. Toddler toys all over the floor and adolesent dog with no manners to understand that human toys are not dog toys!

Junie70 · 14/01/2020 20:55

I wouldn't sell a puppy to someone who was pregnant.

Recipe for disaster.... especially for the puppy.

Honeyroar · 14/01/2020 20:57

I kind of admire the “breeder” for investing where the pup is going and caring. She sounds like she might come round and let you have the pup if she sits down and discusses it with her OH. If you keep nagging you will definitely lose. If you do you need to threaten small claims perhaps?

TopOftheNaughtyList · 14/01/2020 21:00

You know where she lives because you've viewed the puppies. Go round there with DH and knock on her door and say you want your money back.

FizzyIce · 14/01/2020 21:01

You definitely deserve your money back but I honestly do think you’re out of your or mind to think having a puppy with a toddler and new baby is a good idea... you have no idea how your new baby will be and having to look after a puppy with it’s whole other set of wants and needs is a recipe for disaster .
I think you’ve had a lucky escape .

Inherdefence · 14/01/2020 21:04

The puppy and the baby are both unknown quantities, they might be fine together but they might not gel for many reasons. What if one or the other of them is poorly? You wouldn’t want a newborn and a toddler in the house with a puppy with a sensitive stomach & loose bowels. Equally if the baby is colicky and keeps you all awake for hours or needs hospital stays you won’t have the energy for long walks. What if the puppy is snappy or clingy or aggressive or plain doesn’t like children? I’m not saying any of these things will definitely happen but they could happen, particularly given that we don’t know anything about the history or temperament of the sire.

Under the circumstances I think the owner is being very responsible here. And I wouldn’t jump,to the conclusion that she isn’t giving you the deposit back just yet. If and when that happens you can take action but a few hours delay in responding is not a refusal.

TheFuzzyStar · 14/01/2020 21:07

OP may have had a baby before and a puppy before but she’s never had a toddler, a puppy and a baby before. Don’t do it!

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