Breeder refusing to give me puppy or my money back

[Ownerofsmallpeople]

I’m not sure if I’m being u or where I stand on this.
DH and I have decided to get a puppy early feb. We have a 2 year old and another on the way but not due til summer. We have wanted a dog for ages and decided now is the best time as my DC has just started full time nursery, I’m not in work so I have plenty of time during the day to train and spend time with the puppy. For a few weeks after I give birth DH will be taking over walks but I will still be doing the training during the day and newborn will be joining me on school runs etc so my routine doesn’t change really. I’ve raised puppies before so I know what it entails and also obviously had a newborn before so I don’t see any great issues.
We went to view some puppies a couple of weeks ago with DC, chose a specific puppy, breeder was happy discussing diet and training etc and then asked for a deposit. I paid the deposit via bank transfer the next morning. She has now text me last night and said she had one of her friends (who is also friends with me via Facebook) to have a look at my Facebook profile and show her what was on it and she has seen that I’m pregnant and now is telling me I’m “deceitful” and she “can’t trust me with her puppy”. I didn’t think it was a huge deal and I was required to tell her I was pregnant? Obviously the puppy is going to a good home with us so I don’t see an issue. I completely understand wanting your puppies to go to a good home that will look after them but I wouldn’t have thought having a baby 6 months after purchasing a puppy was a big deal.
The conversation went on for about 20 minutes of her basically patronising me and saying that in 6 months I would be calling her to take the dog back. I eventually said to her to either tell me she’s happy for the puppy to come to us or she’s not happy for the puppy to come to us, she replied “I’ll speak to my partner and decide”. I have not heard from her yet so I text her again saying she needs to let me know or send me my money back, she has read the message and ignored it.
Am I in the wrong? What would you do?

she replied I should “get off my high fucking horse and be patient as deposits are normally non refundable and you’re lucky you’re even getting it back”

She sounds charming.

Did she tell you the deposit was non-refundable? If not, I would tell her that since she has decided to cancel the sale, the deposit is obviously returnable. Presumably you didn't sign any paperwork and this is a verbal contract, so if she didn't say the deposit is non-refundable before you gave her the money, then that wasn't agreed.

If she still doesn't pay you back, I would send her a formal letter setting out the facts, what she owes and giving her a deadline to pay it before you commence a claim through the small claims court.

She sounds like she's under pressure (possibly because she doesn't have the money) so I wouldn't go round there or lower yourself to swearing back. If you stay completely calm and reasonable, she will look more and more unreasonable as time goes on if she doesn't return the money.

@StrongTea it was her who dropped out of the sale but she’s saying that it’s because apparently I was deceitful in not telling her I was pregnant. Not sure it’s law to tell her I’m pregnant? There was no contract

Did she ask you if you were pregnant?

It would only have been deceitful if she'd outright asked you and you had said no! You don't have to declare a pregnancy

She pulled out of the sale and is not fulfilling the contract, therefore the deposit is to be returned.

She's dodgy as. Push to get your money back and be thankful.

She never asked if I was pregnant, if she had I would have said I was but to be honest I don’t walk into peoples houses and straight away declare “hello everyone I’m pregnant!” she went out of her way to research me after I had paid the deposit.

Well then I would get in there now to assert your view that this wasn't deceitful, so she doesn't continue to use that argument as an excuse to keep your money.

I'd tell her it wasn't deceitful as she never asked if you were pregnant. Had she asked, you obviously would have told her the truth, but she never asked. If being pregnant was a dealbreaker for her, she should have made a point of asking, especially since it's quite common for parents of one young child to have another.

You saw the litter without mum? Oh OP, you have had such very poor judgement in picking a breeder here.

The stalling in getting your deposit back just shows how much of a bad choice you made in this person. Dishonest and disreputable.

She sounds like a cock.
Definitely agree with you and your dh going round there .
I’d also shout from the roof tops what a dodgy fucker she is

My puppy is ten months old. My kids are older and it's been as much work as a newborn.
Wait until your kids are older

Next time.
Rescue.
Or choose a breeder carefully. KC reg means very little. Go through the breed club. Avoid popular cross breeds like the plague. Be wary of health issues with pedigrees too. Read up and research.
Most pups bought in this country are from BYB, commercial breeders or puppy farms. It’s a sorry state of affairs.

We have recently rescued a 17 month old pup with SN speaking at length to the fosterer I was surprised that the rescue had researched through my fb

My job means I have to have all social media locked down. We have specific training on this.

Everyone, and I mean everyone uses social media as a research tool. Future employees, colleagues, romantic partners, criminals, burglars, car thieves, benefits office, the police.

Social media can give you anything from pets names, kids names, schools, jobs, addresses, floor plans of your house, car you drive, when you’re on holiday....

I’d be more suprised if they didn’t research you

Have you ever actually seen her dog?

@thejollyroger I have seen photos of the mum with the pups via Facebook but not actually in person.. I’m sure I’ll see them tonight when I go to collect my deposit

Avoid popular cross breeds like the plague Oh honestly. If someone wants a cockerpoo or labradoodle let them buy a fucking cockerpoo or labradoodle. By all means give them information about how to ensure they are buying a healthy puppy from a good breeder, as you would any pedigree breed, but its so tiring when MN assumes all crossbreeds are puppy farmed.

OP, putting aside the puppy issues, you should get your deposit back and the breeder is being a CF. Its non-refundable if the buyer changes their mind, but at the money she's essentially taken money and refusing to give you the product you've bought - theft.
You never stated you weren't pregnant so that argument is void.

Honestly, if you took her to court, you would win hands down.

@LochJessMonster
That’s the problem. It’s not about what someone wants. It’s about the welfare of bitches that are bred repeatedly. It’s about lining the pockets of commercial, BYB and puppy farmers.
I wouldn’t buy a pup off someone just in it for the money. Even if I was lucky and it was healthy and well adjusted? What about the bitch and the ethical implications? Just so I have a cute cross.

have seen photos of the mum with the pups via Facebook but not actually in person..

And was the owner in these pictures?

@thejollyroger no she wasn’t but it is her house in the back ground as I’ve been there.

But you haven’t actually seen her with a pregnant bitch, or seen her dog with her and the puppies?

So it could literally be a photo of puppies from years ago, or puppies brought to the house and photographed as part of a wider scam?

@Wolfiefan The issue is, like it or not, most breeders care about the money. Yes, they love their dog and are passionate about the breed etc - but its a living for most breeders. Its a full time job.
So they are what could be classed as 'commercial breeders'.

That doesn't mean they don't know what they are doing. Most have been doing it for 20years+. They know the breed/crossbreed, welfare, health checks etc. They produce healthy, socialised puppies for family pets.

In order to keep this 'living' or 'job' viable, they have to produce puppies that people want. And currently, the demand is for poodle crosses.

Just because they are now breeding cockerpoos (for example) doesn't mean they aren't following the same strict welfare regulations as poodle breeders (for example). Just that people don't want poodles, they want cockerpoos now.

@Branleuse You do realise the difference between a FRENCH Bulldog and a Bulldog don't you?

@thejollyroger it’s definitely her dog, the pics on Facebook are from two years ago and there’s a recent photo of the puppies nursing on the same dog in the photos, and the same puppies that I saw when I visited.

Right...

Still a bit confused, then. You’ve seen her dog on Facebook, seen the puppies nursing their mum on Facebook and seen the puppies in person. But you still thought the bitch was a chihuahua?

I messaged her asking what time she was sending the money as yesterday she told me it would be afternoon - she replied I should “get off my high fucking horse and be patient as deposits are normally non refundable and you’re lucky you’re even getting it back” and that I will get it when she has time. My DH is now fuming and says he’s going to personally get it from her later

Deposits ARE refundable if the SELLER pulls out. Otherwise it's just a licence to steal other people's money. £300 deposit, cheers. Nah, don't want to sell it to you now.

I'd stay on my high horse and ride my high horse right over her, the cheeky, thick, numpty.

@thejollyroger if you look back on my posts you’ll see that I only realised the bitch was the french bulldog BECAUSE I looked on her Facebook and saw the photos