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AIBU?

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Original poster

Asking permission for holiday

85 replies

PumpkinP · 14/01/2020 12:17

I was planning to take my children on holiday but my ex is absent and apparently you need permission of the other parent to take a child on holiday. My sister thinks I’m worrying for no reason and that you don’t actually need permission, so has anyone actually ever been stopped from taking a child on holiday without permission?, I’ve never heard of anyone being stopped either tbh but have always heard that you can be stopped.

OP posts:
Original poster
PumpkinP · 14/01/2020 13:11

.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 14/01/2020 13:13

Take the birth certificates with you and lie as necessary, if asked any questions.

toomanyleggings · 14/01/2020 13:14

No you don't need their permission

Meggymoo777 · 14/01/2020 13:17

Took my son with my this year, he has his fathers surname so different from mine and I had no issues.

Wtfdoipick · 14/01/2020 13:22

I take it you mean abroad? Yes you do need consent of everyone with parental responsibility unless you have a child arrangement order stating the child resides with you. However the chance of being stopped is very very slim but it does happen and my sil was caught out a couple of years ago due to not having the correct paperwork. It cost her a lot to sort it as she had to rebook flights for the next day but she was able to get the paperwork easily. You can take the risk and probably be completely fine but be warned it's not guaranteed.

Elandra · 14/01/2020 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrimfulofSasha · 14/01/2020 13:27

You don't need consent from the other parent to take a child abroad as long as you aren't going to be away more than 28 days- its on the Gov.uk website

doritosdip · 14/01/2020 13:29

It depends on where you're going.

Lockheart · 14/01/2020 13:29

Don't risk it and for god's sake don't "lie as necessary" Hmm.

You need the permission of anyone with parental responsibility before you can take a child out of the country. If he has parental responsibility then you need his permission.

There is an exception if you have a child arrangement order which says the child must live with you.

All this information is freely available on the gov.uk website...

MaggieFS · 14/01/2020 13:29

Need more info:

Who do you think you need the permission from?
Are your DC subject to a court order if your ex is absent?
Do they have your surname?
Where are you going? Some countries do have requirements, but normally if the surname is different.

If they have your surname and it's simply you taking them away, you wouldn't normally need permission from anyone.

Wtfdoipick · 14/01/2020 13:35

Elandra Because she was asked for the evidence that she had permission when she was at the airport, she didn't have it so was refused. The 28 days only applies if there is a child arrangement order not if there isn't so for example if the parents are still together or the absent ex has never requested contact etc.

Wtfdoipick · 14/01/2020 13:40

www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

it's quite clear that without a child arrangement permission must be sought either from the other parent or via a court.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 14/01/2020 13:40

I haven’t decided where yet, probably europe. Ex wants no contact (his choice) all 4 children have my surname except for my oldest who has mine and his but not double barrelled. I know that you need “permission” but I’ve never known of any one actually asked or stopped... so was wondering whether it actually happens or not or how common it is.

OP posts:
BoxOfBabyCheeses · 14/01/2020 13:43

Resident parents are allowed to take the child away for a certain amount of time (either 14 or 28 days I think) without the other parent's permission. Take birth certificates (or copies) just in case.

BoxOfBabyCheeses · 14/01/2020 13:44

Sorry cross-post! I didn't realise it was with a child arrangement order.

Is there a possibility of going to court? Does your ex pay maintenance? If he doesn't, then you may want to look into him relinquishing his parental rights.

thinkfast · 14/01/2020 13:44

www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

I've been stopped many times when taking my children abroad. I've been stopped when travelling wine with them, and when travelling with DH. They have my DH's surname and not mine.

If DH is not travelling with me, I've always taken their birth certificates and a letter from DH with his contact details and passport information, confirming I have his permission to travel.

Some countries have specific requirements as to what documents you will need, or won't let you enter.

I've also been heavily questioned and criticised by one UK passport control man who told me that it was not acceptable that I had not changed by surname to be the same as my husband's!

MiniEggAddiction · 14/01/2020 13:46

I was once asked a few question taking DC1 back into the UK since we have different surnames on our passports. I said I was his mum and started trying to find a picture of the birth certificate I had on my phone but the guy waved us through before I found it. DH has travelled with DC without me and has never been asked anything.

DelurkingAJ · 14/01/2020 13:48

We’ve had friends stopped (different nationalities and different surnames parent to child). Luckily their DH was in the other queue (he’d gone through the quick line to get the bags!) and came back to rescue them.

Fink · 14/01/2020 13:48

You should have permission from the other person with parental responsibility, but if it's impossible to get, you can ask someone like Citizens' Advice for help wording an official statement of this, then carry it in writing with you when you travel. If you're not sure whether their dad has parental responsibility, you can check (if you weren't married and he isn't named on the birth certificates, he likely doesn't have parental responsibilty).

If your surname is different from the children's, you should also carry proof of the relationship (e.g. copy of their birth certificates).

In most countries, most of the time, you won't get asked. But it's better to have all the documentation and not need it than the other way around.

I've been stopped once, by French immigration. The child in question wasn't mine (part of a school group), but luckily we did have all the correct documentation and were able to pass through quite easily after it had been checked.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 14/01/2020 13:50

My DSS's mum has taken him on holiday before with no issues at all, not that my DH would ever have refused permission but she's never asked for a letter or anything and never been questioned.

MozzchopsThirty · 14/01/2020 13:52

I've never needed permission
Not that ex if absent or a problem but it's never been an issue

And we've been to Europe, Asia and US

Lockheart · 14/01/2020 13:54

Whether it's as rare as hens teeth to be stopped or not, it won't help you if you're the unlucky one. You'll still be out of pocket at best, arrested for attempted child abduction at worst.

I'd just ask the ex to sign a letter saying you can take them on holiday. He doesn't have to be involved with them, all he has to do is sign it.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 14/01/2020 13:58

I won’t be contacting him again ever so I don’t want to do that. Wouldn’t want to give him the satisfaction anyway.

OP posts:
lovemenorca · 14/01/2020 14:00

Depends on country
Vast majority - no

lovemenorca · 14/01/2020 14:01

Once you know where you want to go - go on their Foreign office website