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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how much you have/will spend on a prom dress?

236 replies

Frouby · 13/01/2020 21:27

Dds prom is this year. Shes a good kid, works hard and I want to reward her for the effort she will no doubt put in for GCSEs.

Her prom is in July and she has started talking about her prom this summer. Says girls are spending between £300-£500 on dresses, plus hair, make up, nails, shoes, limo etc etc etc.

I didn't spend that much on my fucking wedding dress.

She has also said that they are all shopping for and buying them now ready for July.

I was thinking April/May, mooch round the shopping centre, party frock from Topshop or New Look, some shoes and some new make up,hair put up by normal hair dresser. Drop her off and pick her up myself.

When did it turn into a big £1000 do for 16 year olds? She won't even actually even be quite 16! What if you can't afford it? We live in Yorkshire, in a town massively struggling as it is. How can working class people already struggling afford this? Especially if they have more than 1 dc? In particular dds?

Is dd having my pants down on this or do people really spend 1k on prom night?

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 13/01/2020 21:29

I'm looking with my DD now. $200-$300 seems to be the range of acceptable choices.

schoolcook · 13/01/2020 21:30

I just bought my DD a dress it was £295 but we got it for £200 as we took it that day. The lady in the shop said most people are done by late January 😳
We then spent an extra £40 on shoes and a clutch bag to go with it.
She won't be getting a limo that's for sure but the dress was her absolute dream so I was happy to spend that much, but it was about my limit.

MamToTeens · 13/01/2020 21:30

Yes, they do. We won’t be, but a lot of stuff will be free as we already have them/know people that can help. If you don’t have that it does add up.

19lottie82 · 13/01/2020 21:30

Look for a used dress on eBay, people buy them, wear them once and sell them for a small % of what they originally cost. No one but you and your DD will ever know!

kittykatkitty · 13/01/2020 21:34

Mine are adults now.
Dd1s prom was full on.
Dress £400
Hair, makeup, spray tan nails £150
Limo£50 shared with others
Prom ticket £40
After prom outfit party £100 🙄

Dd2 far more relaxed
Dress £100
Hair , make up and tan she did herself
Limo £50
Prom ticket £30
She came home after prom.

Couldn't believe the difference in it.

ScribblyGum · 13/01/2020 21:36

Bloody hell. Dd1’s prom this year too. She hasn’t started looking. She hasn’t even mentioned about starting to look yet.
Like hell I will be spending £1000.
Hair, nails, shoes, limos
World’s gone mad.

beautifulxdisasters · 13/01/2020 21:37

I don't think that's out of range for our school but I'd try to get one on eBay or the internet.

I got mine from a website called sexy her.co.uk (or .com?) Awful name but good prom dresses for fussy girls that want a flouncy big dress etc for £80-£100 or so

Frouby · 13/01/2020 21:37

@19lottie82 I said that but she pulled a massive face. I bought my wedding dress from a charity shop 18 months ago. No one knew unless I told them.

We are skint, so it definitely won't be this month. Christmas is always a killer as we are both self employed and don't work in December.

Have said I will put £150 towards it all, then lend her the rest and she can pay it back out of either her allowance (£10 a week) or a summer job. Am doubly annoyed as shes spent about £150 on stuff from the sales since Christmas she could have used towards it.

OP posts:
timetest · 13/01/2020 21:38

I spent about £300 on DD2’s dress about 6 years ago. She borrowed a pair of my shoes and bought a bag on eBay. She had hair and make up done by a local salon. I drove her and her bf as limos were seen as a bit ott.

mum11970 · 13/01/2020 21:39

My dd got a dresses from BooHoo.com for her Year 11 Prom and 6th Form Prom dress was from a similar online retailer. Yr11 dress cost about £30, think 6th Form dress was a similar price, certainly not as much as £50. Her friends had dresses from all different price ranges, some did make my eyes water, one was even wearing a pair of Louboutins

millymoo1202 · 13/01/2020 21:39

Dress from monsoon which we paid for £120 and she paid for her nails and make up, think we paid for her hair up. We are in Scotland and this was leavers prom so were all almost 18

jellybeanteaparty · 13/01/2020 21:40

Outlet shops are your friend Perhaps pick one thing that feels all out ( shoes or nails or hair do ) but not everything

notquiteruralbliss · 13/01/2020 21:41

Youngest DD spend £25 on a dress from ASOS plus £10 for shoes

ooooohbetty · 13/01/2020 21:41

Just because she says that's what other girls say they are spending doesn't mean that's true OP.

TheWernethWife · 13/01/2020 21:41

For my 16 year old - £80 grey dress from Debenhams bridesmaid range, tiara from the market, silver sandals and bag from New Look. Hair done by regular hairdresser and I did the make-up. Did use my Chanel not cheap stuff though.

It was enough to spend for one night in my opinion.

Frouby · 13/01/2020 21:42

@ScribblyGum I feel the same as you.

Mine and dhs wedding outfits didn't come to that.

For the generation of environmental campaigners they certainly don't hold back on luxuries. I didn't even realise there was a ticket cost 🙈. I said jokingly she could ride dpony to the prom and she said I was a cheapskate and it was usually a limo.

Fuck sake. We had a leavers disco in the school hall.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 13/01/2020 21:42

Chat with the parents of her friends and come up with a better plan. None of them will want to be spending $$$$ but it's hard to be the only one who isn't.

AuntieMarys · 13/01/2020 21:44

I paid £55 on a dress for dd, sandals she had ready. She did her own hair and makeup.
Ridiculous the lengths parents go to. More fool them.

kittykatkitty · 13/01/2020 21:44

A local school near me does a disco bus to prom for £10.
I thought it was a great idea.
All the kids get dropped off and picked up at the school.
Unfortunately it wasn't my kids school 🙄

123rd · 13/01/2020 21:45

Just been having this convo with our dd. Like OP she works hard and I want to treat her ...but no way will it extend to £100s
We sort of agreed budget of £100 for the dress, is she can't find anything within budget she has to come up with difference!
She will want to do her own make up but kinda forgot about shoes, bag hair and tan!!!
Definitely no limo tho

123rd · 13/01/2020 21:46

Just got to find a dress that fits her. She is teeny

ParkheadParadise · 13/01/2020 21:47

When dd1 had her prom ( yrs ago now).
The school had an account esp for the prom. Paid into weekly.

My sister had 5 kids, they all had their proms year after year. She was skint for years.

Proms are fucking stupid. What do you do if you seriously can't afford it?

Frouby · 13/01/2020 21:49

@ooooohbetty sadly I do believe her.

We are surrounded by 10 bob millionaires. I find it really vulgar and trashy personally. But she is friends with some girls whose families seem to have more money than sense.

I wish schools would be more proactive in not encouraging this. Venue is very posh which is nice, but it already sets expectations really high. Have only just realised it's not actually in the school hall.

Have looked online at the usual places but she is desperate to go properly shopping to a proper prom dress shop ( her words not mine) so suspect that online won't do.

Plus we tried that with her bridesmaid dress and ended up sending 5 back.

Oh, and wearing her bridesmaid dress that is beautiful and very similar to the style she is looking at is absolutely out of the question as well.

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 13/01/2020 21:50

Go to quiz, you can get a dress for about 80 quid. Only a few people spend more than 100. They dont look any better than the ones who spent much less and they are only in it for a few hours.

midwintermorning · 13/01/2020 21:51

We live in a wealthy area, no one spoke of spending £££ it's just seen as silly - dd's dress cost £38 - she got a bag for £10 from TK Maxx and shoes that she couldn't walk in for I think £20 from New Look. All the girls were dressed to a similar price. She did her own hair and make up and looked gorgeous! No regrets - she had a great night and afterwards the dress was donated to charity.