To ask how much you have/will spend on a prom dress?

[Frouby]

Dds prom is this year. Shes a good kid, works hard and I want to reward her for the effort she will no doubt put in for GCSEs.

Her prom is in July and she has started talking about her prom this summer. Says girls are spending between £300-£500 on dresses, plus hair, make up, nails, shoes, limo etc etc etc.

I didn't spend that much on my fucking wedding dress.

She has also said that they are all shopping for and buying them now ready for July.

I was thinking April/May, mooch round the shopping centre, party frock from Topshop or New Look, some shoes and some new make up,hair put up by normal hair dresser. Drop her off and pick her up myself.

When did it turn into a big £1000 do for 16 year olds? She won't even actually even be quite 16! What if you can't afford it? We live in Yorkshire, in a town massively struggling as it is. How can working class people already struggling afford this? Especially if they have more than 1 dc? In particular dds?

Is dd having my pants down on this or do people really spend 1k on prom night?

My friends daughter bought one second hand on ebay for about £40 you would not know it was second hand. She looked great. Did her own make up etc. I think she did get her nails done but all costs together was less than £100.

She did moan a bit to start with but her mum said this is what we can afford and if you want to go this is how it will be.
.

” Why oh why is bratty behaviour like 'pulling a massive face' a the suggestion of buying from ebay and being called a 'cheapskate' being tolerated, OP? At that point I would have said 'You're on your own, pay for it your bloody self.'”

Absolutely! Any daughter of mine who called me a cheapskate would be having her budget slashed, not increased.

For a generation quite rightly very involved in ethical buying and climate issues I am gobsmacked at some of these stories

This is being facilitated by parents when they should be saying nope it’s £80 tops and you do your own hair etc.

It’s just another form of competitive parenting and I really dislike the whole idea of who turns up in the fanciest vehicle etc

My DDs both wore high street dresses- one was from eBay so several years old so less likely to be anyone else in it.
Bags and shoes both TK maxx in the sale

I feel sorry for your DD when she is being driven by what other kids are describing and it’s hard to be rational at 15.

Schools could tip this by describing the environmental impact of throw away fashion or big gas guzzling vehicles and lead the way in encouraging more modest spending

You might find local facebook groups have dresses for sale. My DS got one for my niece for practically nothing it was a £££ dress and had only been worn once. A lot of girls buy adult bressed for things like bat mitzvahs and fancy weddings and their parents sell them straight on. Definitely look for groups on facebook. For my son's yr 11 prom e got a new suit (tkmaxx) but he really needed one. It was a nice day be and about 130 but that's justifiable for a suit that will be frequently worn not a one time off dress. The ditls thetr weren't that overboard, not the bling dresses just nice dresses from asos etc definitely no limos they went on a Thames cruise and got there and back on London underground.

My DDs prom was last year.
The group of friends she has weren't interested in a limo, so we hired a brand new 9 seater van for the night. £90.
Decorated it with bits from poundland :)
Her dress was a Biba dress from HOF £150.
Shoes £32
Bag £18
Hair up do £24
She did her own make up because she hates looking like a China doll!
No spray tan, she is naturally pale and would look ridiculous.
Our good friends own a Jewellery shop and gifted her a lovely bracelet and ring. £200 in total (I think)
£30 for the ticket.
£25 for spending money, which she didn't use.

She looked amazing, felt amazing.
She looked at dresses that were £300+
She was the one who decided that was too much, for wearing for 4 hours max!

Don't let her keep up with the Joneses!!!

Definitely look at everpretty dresses on Amazon or their website. As a PP said they are excellent quality and super cheap. I have several and they all stand up against far more expensive dresses in my wardrobe. The only thing I would avoid is anything with lace. Have sent a couple back because the finishing on the lace was poor.

DD's dress was £190
Clutch £10
Bouncy blow dry £25
Limo £40
Prom ticket £30
Spray tan £10
She already had shoes so that was good and she did her own make up.

Got to do it all again next year for dd2

Oh nails, a gift from her Aunt £28

Bought my dd a prom dress on eBay for £30. Absolutely no need to spend 100's of pounds, it's obscene. The one she chose was actually a bridesmaids dress, she didn't tell anyone it was from eBay and it had been worn once.

My DD1 prom as well.

To add to the mix is she would like a 1950's swing dress style. To be fair the shape does really suit her.

I don't want to spend a lot because the chances are is she will not wear it again as 99% of the time she wears jeans.

If anyone has any ideas where I could look for this type of dress I will be very grateful.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47811650

This charity project is local to me and runs every year, I've donated dresses and shoes in the past and it's a brilliant place.

Some bridal shops sell last-season bridesmaids dresses very cheaply too and they are lovely.

(My daughter is only 4, Id best get saving now!!)

£90 on dress (bought pre-owned off ebay, then had it altered and blinged up)
Car free as friend drove her in a convertible
Some cheap jewellery that has been reused, ditto the shoes
Hair put up by hairdresser £20 max
Did own makeup
Nice watch as early birthday present
I paid for nails as a last minute extra as she had worked so hard at GCSEs

You can spend as much or as little as you like on prom I think.

Wow, lots of replies.

I am with the majority. I will pay £100 for a dress, anything else she can pay for herself. And she has long hair so will pay for an up do which will be about £25. If she wants nails doing she can pay herself. Can't see her wanting a spray tan, she's half scottish and see through mostly. And she is very good at make up so can do her own. In fact she earns a bit from family and friends doing their make up for nights out.

Her attitude is fairly good generally. She's not particularly bratty but I think peer pressure plays a massive part in things like this. We could afford (not now, but in a few months) more for a dress but I hate waste, hate spending more than necessary (my wedding dress was a charity shop find!) and hate the idea of paying £100s for something worn a few times.

I think we will go and look at H of F at brands like Coast etc. At least it will be a proper evening dress rather than a blingy prom affair. She's lucky enough to have a beautiful figure so will look good in anything!

And she can either sort a limo with her friends if that's what is happening or I will drop her off. Can't see my pick up truck liking wearing a bow though. I drove it to my wedding (an all day affair in a local hotel) and one of my relatives saw me pull up and thought it was hilarious I had driven myself. I thought it was very sensible!

Strange how people value things differently. The girls she has mentioned aren't from massively wealthy families either. Just normal working class ones like us. But they probably think we are daft for spending money on other things.

I’m making my dd’s but even so it’s costing £100 for the material, pattern and haberdashery items. Visited an occasion dress shop who said you have to order in January. They do fittings and get them made overseas - shop owner wouldn’t say where so maybe it’s some sweatshop . Decided I’d rather do it myself!

Dds dress was £60 from Quiz. She did have the advantage of going to a small school so the likelihood of someone else in the same dress was minimal.

Transport the more unusual the better. One of Dds friends grandparents drove a vintage ambulance. At ds’s school they turn up on tractors, horses etc.

Made dd's prom dress, cost about £40-50, did own hair and makeup. Shoes about £20 DP.

Leavers ball dress from Quiz, reduced in Debenhams about £55, alterations £15, shoes £25 from Quiz, own hair and makeup.

Trend seemed to be splurge in first event then frugal on leavers, almost a competition to be the best value.

I think the bodice would need to be unpicked, restitched reattached to the skirt. Is it stretchy material, if so the previous wearer may have stretched it already and the fabric be quite delicate.

She is part of the local dragon boat and kayaking club, and the venue is at the side of the river. Wonder if we could get her there in a dragonboat 😂😂😂.

My niece had a costly dress, it had been worn by one of the Saturdays to a red carpet event. It had many blue stones sewn onto it. She looked fabulous and probably the first time she's really dressed up. All well until my son who was 10 found one of the stones on the floor and said "Cousin, a piece of plastic's come off your dress". The withering look he got

Apologies last comment meant for another prom dress thread!

@Frouby are we local to each other in East Yorkshire? Sounds like my home town 😊

DD is 16 in a couple of weeks, and at an all girl's school. This has caused us so many arguments in the Autumn! She wanted to start early, I told her I couldn't afford it yet as moving house/maternity/Christmas. She went trying on £500 dresses and 'settled' on a £300 one, I told her I would give a maximum of £150 after Xmas. She wanted the whole dress experience too, which I understand, but came home sobbing each time that she was fat because the sizes were smaller than average sizes! It's been a nightmare.

Anyway, I managed to convince her to order a load of Lipsy ones in the next sale (still some left by the way), just to try, and she ended up finding one she liked! £80 instead of the £300 is lots better to me. She can have the other £70 promised towards shoes/bag/earrings, so it's a win for her really.

Whats wrong with bringing up kids to be individuals and not follow the expensively dressed crowds of sheep

@KnobJockey we are south Yorkshire.

Looked at Next yesterday. Apparently she doesn't like any of them.

I suspect it's the whole experience thing she wants and when she has seen and tried some of these blingy numbers on she will realise that she actually suits a more understated look. Hopefully.

There is a prom dress shop in wakefield that is supposed to be the place to be though, and they actually have some reduced from the £500 mark down to a more reasonable £150 ish. Will take her over there for a nosey.

DD's gcse 'prom' was a couple of years ago. I think her dress - well separate skirt and top actually - came to about £150 from
Coast. She's worn the top since with jeans, but not the skirt as too formal. She had her makeup done at Mac which was about £40 which was refunded against purchases - lipstick and lashes covered this. Hair was just an updo done locally - was about £30. I can't remember how much the ticket cost. No transport etc - everyone went in parents cars as it was a fair distance from school in the end, and then picked up by parents sharing lifts.

Dress and makeup/hair costs varies a lot at her gcse one amongst the girls - some spent way more than others.

Her sixth form one will be this year but at a different school with a more varied school Makeup. It's a much lower key affair and dd has already said she won't need a formal outfit in the same way. She's not even started looking - it'll probably be a dress from ASOS or lipsy I suspect.