To think this is bad care from the hospital?

[Mammabee20]

Hi all I just want some advice on whether IABU or if the midwives/hospital staff are? I had my DS on the 10th January, he was born early at 34 weeks and 4 days. His growth scans has slowed right down and I couldn’t feel his movements anymore at all so I kept going in and getting checked, they admitted that yes there hadn’t been any growth between 32 and 34 weeks. I went in again and after a day of monitoring they arranged an elective c section.

The surgery itself went well and they put me into the recovery room, after about 10 mins I had a huge bleed due to clotting (sorry If it’s TMI) they put me on medicine and I’ve been better since.

They had already whipped my baby away and put him scbu for the night. He was apparently okay to join me in a room for Prem babies and mothers go stay together granted they are both healthy enough. The next day after he was born we moved onto that ward.

Since then they have advised me that mothers are basically classed as fit and well and they keep scolding me for basically bothering the midwives to chase my pain relief. I am not allowed to ring the bell in there even though the staff in there aren’t midwives they are nursery nurses so they aren’t supposed to care for me.

I have had a c section before where I went home the next day and regulated my own medicine, the only reason I am still in now is for my son which I get but to chase my own medication all the time is just ridiculous.. I had to ask them ten times if I was on iron after the major bleed.. I keep having problems going for a number 2 and they aren’t concerned (again TMi sorry) They neglected to tell me that the gauze over my incision had to come off within 48 hours of the surgery as well so now I’m worried I’m going to get an infection. When I had my DD in 2018, a health visitor came to the house the next morning and removed the gauze so I thought it had to be a medical professional.

I even asked If I could take my own medicine so I didn’t have to bother them and they said no as they want to monitor what you are taking I’m already feeling way too much pain as they keep leaving it too long before my meds to come see me. And in amongst all this I am trying to spend time with DS and help him thrive so we can leave this hellhole and spend time with my DD when she visits too

My AIBU is does this sound like bad care or am I being dramatic?

Go speak to the Marton of the ward. That’s terrible care! If you haven’t been discharged for yourself then of course they should be making sure you have pain relief if needed.

Its bad care, but I am not surprised at all to hear it. My ds was born at 35+0 and needed a week in SCBU. I was 'lucky' enough to get to stay in with him, but even though my bed was in post natal for all but the last 2 nights I didn't get any care at all even though I'd lost 1.5 litres of blood (as I found out from my discharge notes). No blood test till they wanted to discharge me, no iron, no attention to me at all in fact. I only got meals when another SCBU mum told me that dh could bring in ready meals and put them in the parents room fridge

I’m sorry to say but it sounds typical care when you have a baby who is in SCBU. I had no post natal checks what so ever - not even blood pressure with my 2. In fact with ds2 I was not even examined post child birth. If you wish to have a check up I would ring your GP and if 4 hourly Oc is not working ask the gp for extra.

I remeber being in that situation, it's awful. I had a raging infection in my C section scar (had high temp. high blood pressure and wound was producing pus),and when I begged for pain relief, I was told " you can have paracetamol today but then no more as you are getting addicted"!!

My ds was born at 30 weeks and needed urgent surgery. His care was good, mine was appalling.

Complain!

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/nhs-services-and-treatments/what-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service/

Complain and if you don't feel able, for whatever reason, contact PALS.
Don't suffer in silence it isn't worth the risk.

I hate how women are treated after childbirth

It’s shameful . And the ONLY area where a scar seemingly doesn’t ducking hurt

Get your own supplies of paracetamol
And OTC ibuprofen in , that’s perfectly OK and does actually work when taken regularly

I have no words really but pleased your baby is OK . But you deserve better care too

No one told me to take pain relief after my episiotomy . I had a scalpel taken to my poor vagina and not a soul acknowledged the pain . I got better pain relief after my root canal .

In addition to painkillers ask someone to bring you some natural laxatives they sell them in Holland Barrett and are like stock cubes of poo inducing fruit

Who is caring for you ?

That’s pretty awful, I was in with my 3rd baby and he went to nicu and was quite poorly. They still fed me, did my post natal checks but it wasn’t great if I’m honest. The pain was fine but they refused to take me down to see him the first morning he was there and I hadn’t been before so went on my own. The staff in nicu were fine and cared for him well though and he was discharged after a week. when I had ds4 I left Asap after delivering I just find midwives quite superior and they (not all) don’t listen to women. Glad I’m done with having kids but absolutely say if you’re in pain and not happy - id take my own pills in with me too

Unless they're offering self administration of pain relief then yes they should be providing it with you upon request (so long as you're not exceeding the recommended dose).

That sounds negligent.

My DD was born 13 years ago and was in NICU, I stayed on postnatal for 5 days in a private room and had exemplary care. I know the NHS is more stretched then than now but that doesn't sound like an adequate standard of care to me.

I was in your situation and contacted pals whilst still in hospital, things quickly improved!

Get someone to bring you in your own paracetamol and ibuprofen, you're a grown adult of course you can take it yourself! Write it down if they're so bothered.

Please speak to PALS, or the matron in charge. You are being given shoddy care and it's not good enough.

I’m literally sat behind my curtain in floods of tears and I’ve barely touched my son all day because I’ve not got into their routine of when to touch him and Blab blah blah!!!

I’m so fucking annoyed and I am crying my eyes out...

You poor thing it’s stressful enough having a poorly baby without this as well.
Please do contact Pals, they can come and see you on the ward. And yes get your own painkillers, if they can’t look after you then you will look after yourself.

I feel like just saying I don’t care if I am under your care because if I am under your care I feel like I might die or be seriously health compromised!! If I get an infection in my c section scar or anything like I won’t be able to take care of my son! I already feel like I am not doing anything with him at all..

I’ve not changed him all day and I’ve been expressing but then being told off for expressing close to when they want to put him on the breast!

Aw lass
You aren't being dramatic at all, we all know things are cut to the bone but that isn't your fault and you shouldn't endure poor care.

The bloody woman in the transitional room is always on the phone regarding annual leave and getting out of work! Way to make me feel like you are here to want to help & everytime I mentioned getting the midwife to come see me, she says she has 9 other patients to look after currently & I am supposed to be classed as a well mum!

I want to be a well mum, you idiot but you aren’t letting me! I might start administrating my own medicine and not ask for mine and see how long It takes them to realise they’ve not attended to me at all.. that will answer the test

What’s the routine of when to touch him? When my DTs were in NICU and then SCBU, we were encouraged to have as much contact as possible, particularly skin to skin.
Google kangaroo care and ask why they aren’t supporting you to offer it. Can you get anyone to support you and advocate for you? It’s awful that you’re having to fight for yourself and your baby like this.

Sounds very familiar :( You can find yourself stuck there after you've been discharged but they won't let you leave your baby or leave with your baby. You can't get medicine or care from the hospital because you aren't a patient but neither can you go to a pharmacy to buy paracetamol
It's a horrible time. Do whatever you can to get your baby gaining weight and healthy so you can get home.

Take your own painkillers. You will feel better not in pain. Obviously be sensible and don’t take too much paracetamol.

I think this is standard post-natal care sadly.

Both times after my two sections similar things happened.

Make a complaint OP that is awful.

When my first was born we had to stayed in a few extra days because he was born with a Cleft lip and palate and needed to be monitored etc.

I got very poorly after the birth, I could barely stand, I was breathless, weak, felt like I would just die. I thought it must be normal because I didn't know how you're meant to feel after birth, and besides none of the medical staff who saw how ill I looked and watched me barely able to walk across the room (I declined dressing Ds in his first outfit because I was so poorly and my husband did it) none of them checked me or tried to find out why I was so ill.

Eventually it came to light I had retained placenta, my uterus had contracted and moved up too high, and I'd lost tons of blood. Despite me telling them how I felt no one bothered with me until one saint of a nurse took notice.

Even after they got the placenta out, I was still just as weak, faint and breathless for days afterwards and was basically brushed off, not given so much as an iron tablet.

Sounds bloody awful. Contact pals

I can't believe that 18% voted that you are being unreasonable. You are being treated like shit! I'm so sick of hearing how women are treated after childbirth and I'm amazed more haven't died or become life-threateningly ill. YANBU. Please contact PALS. Fit and well my arse! Negligent.

• glycerine suppositories are your friend - (sorry for the squeamish = ahem push in gently upwards & hold on for at least half an hour better if you can manage 3 quarters of hour) check with pharmacist if its ok with you (its the gentlest & quickest method for relief) Health Visitors are either qualified nurses or midwives with extra training traditionally?