To think this is bad care from the hospital?

[Mammabee20]

Hi all I just want some advice on whether IABU or if the midwives/hospital staff are? I had my DS on the 10th January, he was born early at 34 weeks and 4 days. His growth scans has slowed right down and I couldn’t feel his movements anymore at all so I kept going in and getting checked, they admitted that yes there hadn’t been any growth between 32 and 34 weeks. I went in again and after a day of monitoring they arranged an elective c section.

The surgery itself went well and they put me into the recovery room, after about 10 mins I had a huge bleed due to clotting (sorry If it’s TMI) they put me on medicine and I’ve been better since.

They had already whipped my baby away and put him scbu for the night. He was apparently okay to join me in a room for Prem babies and mothers go stay together granted they are both healthy enough. The next day after he was born we moved onto that ward.

Since then they have advised me that mothers are basically classed as fit and well and they keep scolding me for basically bothering the midwives to chase my pain relief. I am not allowed to ring the bell in there even though the staff in there aren’t midwives they are nursery nurses so they aren’t supposed to care for me.

I have had a c section before where I went home the next day and regulated my own medicine, the only reason I am still in now is for my son which I get but to chase my own medication all the time is just ridiculous.. I had to ask them ten times if I was on iron after the major bleed.. I keep having problems going for a number 2 and they aren’t concerned (again TMi sorry) They neglected to tell me that the gauze over my incision had to come off within 48 hours of the surgery as well so now I’m worried I’m going to get an infection. When I had my DD in 2018, a health visitor came to the house the next morning and removed the gauze so I thought it had to be a medical professional.

I even asked If I could take my own medicine so I didn’t have to bother them and they said no as they want to monitor what you are taking I’m already feeling way too much pain as they keep leaving it too long before my meds to come see me. And in amongst all this I am trying to spend time with DS and help him thrive so we can leave this hellhole and spend time with my DD when she visits too

My AIBU is does this sound like bad care or am I being dramatic?

The midwife on this morning did my observations on time this morning and they checked my c section incision whilst she was there and I feel so much better that that care is being given on time and in a way that shows they at least care about giving me proper care!

As you have all lovingly advised though it should not have been as a result of my normally very pleasantly mannered fiancé losing his temper with them.

I hope the care keeps up and if it doesn’t you’ve all explained exactly what I thought was the case that that was not on and what to do if it slides again ❤️

I think PALS is definitely the best idea. Is there anyone who could sit with you when you speak to them? I would agree that you should get someone to bring paracetamol, ibuprofen and if necessary cocodamol in for you. Or go to the hospital pharmacy and buy some. Most have a pharmacy the public can use nowadays.

Don’t take the paracetamol and cocodamol together though, as the cocodamol has paracetamol in.

Women are always told that a Caesarian is a major operation blah blah blah, shouldn’t be undertaken lightly etc.

Yet women are also expected to be up and about after MAJOR surgery and some Trusts are planning to discharge women 24 hours after MAJOR surgery! Surely the gold standard should be at least 48 hours in hospital (it used to be 3-4 days) with adequate pain relief, assistance with baby and nursing care?

Or do midwives not see postnatal women as patients needing nursing? Just vessels. I read a post on here where a woman was told by a midwife “you’re not important, we are here to take care of the baby.”

All very Handmaid’s Tale esque.

I’m glad things have improved OP.

I have asked about the taking my own meds and apparently for insurance purposes they cannot legally allow me to take my own stuff at all because if I collapse they won’t have any record of what I have taken and when.

Now I know exactly what I am on and when and why I feel so much... it’s just hard being passed tablets or having them be left on the side without any explanation as to what they are and then I don’t know how long in between I should be getting the next one.

It helps I’ve had a shower today and I am feeling so much more mobile

I cross posted with you earlier, forgot to refresh the page. If they don’t keep up with your meds I would definitely just start taking your own.
Write down what you’re taking and let your fiancé know where it is and roughly what you’re taking, ie. paracetamol and ibuprofen at max dose.
Glad to read you’re feeling more mobile, it’s amazing how much better you can feel after a shower.
My last section I had to have a morphine drip afterwards, that they kept leaving to run out and leaving me in agony. They claimed they didn’t know how to use it, so had to wait for theatre staff to come and sort it. When the theatre staff came, each time they said they’d only just been asked to do it. Then they tried to take it away when I was still unable to walk without it help I was in so much pain. A horrid junior doctor literally argued with me about it and said I wouldn’t be allowed to go home until I’d been without the drip for a certain number of hours. I pointed out I wouldn’t be going anywhere whilst I couldn’t walk anyway! I complained a few weeks later but didn’t really get anywhere. The doctor wasn’t at that hospital anymore by then.