To think temporary Foster care is the only option

[Idontknowwhat2do]

Before i get completely slated for this, I know that care services are already stretched enough as is and I hate myself for even considering it but I'm not sure what else to do. I was recently diagnosed with Psychosis and I'm struggling to cope. I'm constantly exhausted, I'm paranoid and hallucinating most of the day. I can't focus on anything. My DD is 2 and my entire world, and the last thing I want is to be neglectful. I can't cope anymore. I'm in such a dark place and I need to get her out of this situation. I have barely and money so I can't afford to hire somebody to help me. No family or friends who can help with her. I really don't know what to do anymore. Is putting her into care until I get treatment the only option? I feel so awful even asking.

Where about in the country are you OP?

Do you have honest art near you? They are volunteers who could come to help you out.

Homestart not honest art

Have you been prescribed meds for the psychosis?

Are you being supported by a mental health team? You need to get help ASAP and discuss these issues with them. Or a GP. Sorry you are going through such a hard time.

Hi OP

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.

Do you have a CPN or a social worker? Have you spoken to them about how you’re feeling?

When you say “recently diagnosed with psychosis”- how recently? Have you been medicated? Is it likely the medication will ease your symptoms in the near future?

And finally- i assume your DDs Father isn’t on the scene- do you have a good relationship with any of his family? Could they offer you some respite if so?

I’m sorry this is happening to you

YANBU.

In fact you are showing amazing insight and demonstrating that you have your dd’s best interests at heart. What do your Psych team think and do you have a broader Team around the Family (TAF) with your HV, CPN, any other involved professionals supporting you? This would seem like the best first step.

Homestart are in my area, I will contact them in the morning, thank you. I was diagnosed about a month ago now, and I've been on medication just over 4 weeks. They haven't done anything though. I'm just being told that support is coming by the MH team but they've been saying that for weeks when I really need help now. Social services are saying I'm coping fine but I'm not, I'm falling apart.

Oh OP it’s really really shit.

I would see your GP/ prescribing psych contact and see if your meds need adjusting- if you’re still having symptoms at 4 weeks it may be worth checking.

When you say you’re worried about being neglectful/ you’re falling apart- what do you mean? Is it possible that you have very high standards, so what you perceive as failing your daughter, to others remains a high standard of care?

I appreciate how very hard it must feel, but please don’t put your dc into foster care. As long as your dc is fed, has a roof over their head and you seek help from the professionals, she will be far happier staying with you. Being in the care system is no picnic, even on a temporary basis. And I speak from experience here.

Oh my goodness how scary for you! If you were near me I would definitely help you I'm sure others would to. I have no idea how the system works but I hope someone can advise.

Speak to social services again. They paid for friend DC to go to day care 9-5 while the mum ws mentally recovering

Oh gosh op, any friends you can confide in that can help? Which area are you there is different services in different areas. I hope you get support soon for both your sake.

Ca your HV help? Look for funded nursery places to give you a break?

I wouldn't put your child into foster care. I appreciate you need help OP but I would worry they would remin there longer than you wish. You cannot just click your fingers and have her back. (I do have experience in this to a degree after adopting our DD).
I agree with the suggestion of childcare to give you some time to recover.

OP, my heart goes out to you. Keep reaching out for help. Don't give up. You're a fabulous mum. One day you'll look back on this in awe at how well you've survived. I agree with above posters suggestions. Speak to HV and also ask for funded day nursery.

I've been in a similar situation to you many years ago. Not psychosis, but severe PND, anxiety, weeks of insomnia and terrifying intrusive thoughts about harming my baby. I got there in the end and you will too.

I think there are other options first as mentioned by pps, such as home start, or ss arranging respite care. And I'm no expert but iirc if dc going into care is a possibility, you're more of a priority for the mental health teams.

But if they can't help, or you still feel you can't cope with their help, thinking about temporary foster care doesn't make you awful. The exact opposite, because despite being seriously ill, you're still prioritising her needs above your own.

I’m sorry you’re going through this

You’renot coping and you’re not fine. You need help while you get yourself better. I do respite foster caring for Local Authority and help in situations like yours. Get in touch with them first thing tomorrow and come back and let us know how you got on.
Don’t give a second thought to how stretched they are or aren’t that’s not for you to worry about 💐

There is community fostering which is someone coming in to your home supporting you to look after your child, not to live but visit. You can ring duty social work if you feel you are unable to wait. If you need to you can call the police if you feel there is a risk to you or your child and you need immediate help.

There are also special mother and baby units where you can go and be supported with being a Mum. I got offered one when I had psychosis, but because of husband couldn’t go.

Do you get any free childcare hours, OP? If not you can be referred for a place ASAP.

I work in mental health and often the medications can take up to 3 months to really start working. You’ve only been on them for 4 weeks so you need to give them more of a chance to work. Please don’t stop taking them.

I really hope you can get the help you need so your daughter can stay with you. I think that will be best for you both.

Give Homestart a call as a first base.

They may be able to sort funding for a full time nursery space? They helped sort funding and find a space for a friend when she went through similar.

But no, I wouldn't judge you if you felt that was the only way to keep your child safe.

Try Mother's for Mother's too, The Bluebell Trust and, if you're feeling brave enough, ask on local forums if anyone is able to advise on help available locally (you can always 'ask for a friend'). Also, see if your Health Visitor can help. It must be sooo hard being soo exhausted and having to fight for help.

there used to be something called community childminding (which may still be going on in one form or another) where a childminder looks after your child for several hours or set days to give respite which was paid through Social Service. This way you still have dc but both of you have respite - ask ss if this is available?