To think temporary Foster care is the only option

[Idontknowwhat2do]

Before i get completely slated for this, I know that care services are already stretched enough as is and I hate myself for even considering it but I'm not sure what else to do. I was recently diagnosed with Psychosis and I'm struggling to cope. I'm constantly exhausted, I'm paranoid and hallucinating most of the day. I can't focus on anything. My DD is 2 and my entire world, and the last thing I want is to be neglectful. I can't cope anymore. I'm in such a dark place and I need to get her out of this situation. I have barely and money so I can't afford to hire somebody to help me. No family or friends who can help with her. I really don't know what to do anymore. Is putting her into care until I get treatment the only option? I feel so awful even asking.

I agree with @karencantobe it's not as simple as being skint on uc, if this was me in this situation and my dh gave up work we would be entitled to nothing.

I say this from experience. Most workplaces will give a week's paid time off to people when their partner is ill. This has gone on for a month and the OP could be ill for many months more.
What OP needs is a funded nursery place.

My partner can't leave work or we will lose our home within a month. We just can't afford it. I was hopeful about the EYVFS but they don't offer anything like it in my area. I'm really not sure how to go forward. Spoken to the HV and they've put in a referal to homestart but told me to wait it out. Just another person who won't take this seriously.

My partner can't leave work or we will lose our home within a month. I understand what you are saying and like pp are saying what you need is a funded nursery place. However if that doesn’t happen and you really cannot safety be with your dd alone, it would be better for your dd to be in temporary accommodation with her mum than in foster care while you are in the family home.
Also would you would no lose your home within a month in reality. Repossessions take a long time and banks work with you to offer interest only, mortgage holidays etc.

You can choose temporary foster care under a section 20 agreement. This means that you can end the arrangement when you want to so you shouldn't have a problem getting your child back home again.
If social services felt you were any sort of a risk they would have to go to court for an emergency care order in order to prevent you doing that so don't let fear of not getting them back prevent you getting help if you need it .

Gosh OP it all sounds like a bit of a nightmare for you right now.

I would just make a complete pest of yourself to Homestart and SS. Could you call the everyday to try and push things along? Would your GP be able to push the help through quicker?

In the meantime could you set alarms on your phone and title each one so you know what you should be doing for DD and when?

If you don’t mind saying in what ways do hallucinations stop you from caring for DD?
TBH unless we know how capable you are to look after DD we can’t really give an informed idea of if she would be better in temp care or not.

You need someone to advocate for you to push harder for help. Would it be worth calling MInd or your cpn for support in this? SS will usually prefer to pay for childcare than to see (pay for) a child to enter the care system.

I really feel for you but please don’t take this step unless you absolutely have to. You will have no say in her placement and will not have control of her daily life. You also won’t just be able to have her back whenever you feel better.

For now get as much help as you possibly can and set your phone for reminders throughout the day for meals, drinks, playtime etc.

But mostly ask for support in getting more help.

Sorry you are going through this OP, I haven’t read the rest of the replies, but would you be eligible for the 2 year old funding? It starts the term after their second birthday and at 15 hours a week it could give you 5 mornings/afternoons or 2 and a half days to concentrate on just you. Could be an idea to see how you feel after that as it’s hard going when there is no break from it and then you’ll feel guilty for wanting one even though it’s perfectly normal. Good luck

You need someone to advocate for you to push harder for help. Would it be worth calling MInd or your cpn for support in this?

This ^ I have a friend who works in this kind of role, but for Rethink (IIRC). Basically her job is to, well, advocate for people when they are too ill to do it themselves. She does things like helping with accessing care, benefits, housing, and probably other stuff I don't know about. She's absolutely awesome, very kind but also very assertive and determined.

Give one of the mental health charities a ring and see if they can either help, or point you towards someone who can.

Should add - my friend once said, unfortunately, mental health services are so stretched, it's often the squeakiest wheel that gets the help. In other words, people need to be really persistent at a time when they aren't really up to it. It's her job to be the squeaky wheel.

Hi OP
I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I too have recently been diagnosed with psychosis. And my meds aren't helping either.
I have 3 kids at home.with me, I'm too unwell to work.
I keep.panicking that they'll be taken from me but my care coordinator has assured me that that won't happen, as they like families.to stay together.

Being with You is what is best for your DD.
And believe me I know how hard that is to believe, but it's true.

I guess it’s subjective. I’m a Christian so to me Aslan has a very specific meaning related to CS Lewis’s meaning, AKA God. He sacrifices himself on the stone table to save Edmund (mankind) to atonement for his mistakes and then comes back to life (exactly mirroring Jesus).

I appreciate that if you’re from another background it won’t have the same meaning.

Sorry to hear you are going through this OP, it sounds really challenging. My sibling has been sectioned for psychosis, and although it has been a long road it is now well controlled with medication; please know that there is hope, accessing the correct support is ridiculously hard though. I am sorry health professionals don't appear to be taking it very seriously, sorry if this has been mentioned, but do you have any friends or family who can help support you in accessing it? Have you tried the local crisis team? It sounds like you are a fantastic mother who is putting their needs ahead of you own, and I really hope you get the help you need. It sounds like some posters have some excellent advice, and I hope it helps.

what part of the country are you in? i might be able to find someone to help you x

@Idontknowwhat2do

It is so frustrating when no one is listening. Don’t be afraid to call social services. If you don’t have a social worker ask for an early help assessment for a team around your child. This is not a social worker but other professionals who can help.

I know services differ between local authorities but with an early help team support workers, health visitors, mental health, welfare rights and who ever else you need can work together in your families best interests.

Funded nursery places are available but again vary between LA’s, do you receive PIP for your illness? What support do you currently have from community mental health?

I realise you may not want to say where you live but even if you name the LA someone may know what help is available.