AIBU Distressed after work colleague told me my phone (hotspot) used to access Escort website?

[LonelyRose]

Apologies in advance I'm not up to scratch with the posting etiquette. I've been a long-time lurker here but had no real need to post up until now that is. Also sorry if the title is confusing, I've tried to explain my problem succinctly but its a bit complicated.

I've very upset all week despite putting on a brave face in front of colleagues, friends, and family. Cut a long story short I had problems with my phone accessing the Internet during the past few weeks, i.e. pages not loading, so I handed it to one of my work colleagues in IT who told me he'd look into it. He managed to fix the problem and I got the phone back the same evening (this was on Monday), which I was happy about.

However, as he handed the phone back, he mentioned that while checking for issues, he'd come across logs that showed someone had attempted (and failed) to access an escort website called Adwork numerous times (sorry I don't remember the exact name of the site). Naturally I was a bit taken aback by this as I assumed he meant someone had used my phone while it was unattended. So I pressed him to tell me more. He said that someone had tried accessing my phone's WIFI using a second device (i.e. using my phone as a 'hotspot') so I was quite relieved. With specialist software it was possible to extract times/device names, but we both thought that was OTT as it was probably just one contractors that drift in and out of our office.

However, later that evening I suddenly remembered OH had used my phone as a hotspot last year, and I just don't wanna go down that path whatsoever (I actually feel really sick in my gut as its unthinkable for me). Up till now he hasn't given me any 'suspicions' so I'm kind of angry at myself for even entertaining that thought.

Also surely 1 year+ is a a long time for a phone to be connected to a hotspot. Surely after some time the connection would time-out or refresh and so on simply for security reasons? (Thing is I'm crap with technical stuff like that so I can't be sure).

Sorry if I'm rambling here but I don't really wanna approach my close friends about this in case they think I'm a weirdo or paranoid freak for obsessing about this. I think I am probably being unreasonable but that horrible niggly feeling at the back of my mind just won't go away.

Sooo.
I’m clicked that UK punting link further up. Hopefully my work IT guy won’t now find it, else I’ll be making a genuine post along the same lines in a while 🤣

I'm quite angry as I'm definitely NOT making this up as some of you seem to insinuate. If you Google it I'm pretty sure you can find women / men in asking similar questions. Its not unheard of. In fact I've read many threads while lurking on MN where a wife writes something and moments later the OH is offering his side. IT HAPPENS! I'm not saying that other thread is OH but I'm just making the point that not everything is fake!

I'm at work now so can someone please enlighten me as to what the other thread actually says than going off on one, and no I'm not going to click that link if its an adult website. Thanks

Instead of throwing accusations at me can someone please SPELL IT OUT and tell me what the other thread says instead of being cryptic? I'm not gonna risk clicking it in case its an adult site

Doesn't your DH have data on his own phone, why would he need your hotspot?

It’s the identical of this thread but from the husbands perspective. Posted 2nd of jan. Man asking for advice as he tried to access adultwork from his wife’s hotspot on her work phone. He didn’t mean to use the hotspot. He is worried that her work IT people will be able to see it and will speak to her about it.

WifeBrushAndDettolMaam - thanks for the head's up. Does it mention where he's from and how long ago this happened?

speak to IT op

Or don't. Stop yelling at posters trying to help though

OP, I’d speak to the IT guy. He’s given you enough info to worry but not enough info to make sense of it. Confirm the website. Find out how he’s so sure it’s was accessed via your hotspot. Did they even definitely connect to your hotspot. How often. When. I’d be worried about someone else supposedly using my hotspot regardless of what they had been browsing. Say that, if you want to explain why your asking. Don’t mention your OH. You can then try and work out of what he’s saying adds up for yourself, or ask for more advice again. I hope he’s made a mistake somewhere when checking the logs and it’s a misunderstanding. I’d hate to suspect my husband if it was that, but either way, I’d want to get to the bottom of it.

Assuming genuine and not a troll the way you approach it with IT guy is to say ‘was thinking about that hotspot thing you mentioned and wondered if you can give me the details so I can Speak to whoever is doing it to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Don’t want work to think I’m doing this kind of shit’

My laptop is subject to work restrictions when at home and not attached to work Wi-Fi? If it is a work device then it may be subject to restrictions regardless of location.

@WireBrushAndDettolMaam

Thanks it must because I’m at work

What kind of phone do you have OP?

Read the link to the other forum OP @LonelyRose

Can't see why you would worry about approaching IT bloke, OP. Just tell him you've been thinking about what he said about adult site and you're concerned (seems natural), and ask him to give some times/dates if he can.

Haven’t read the full thread and don’t have a huge amount of technology knowledge. However if it was your husband, surely the attempt to access wouldn’t have failed.
As a family we have access to each other’s phones/ iPads and regularly toggle them together.

You should never allow anyone to use your work phone as a hot spot. It is not your phone.

Having said that, did you leave the hotspot open to anyone? If so, that is far more problematic than letting your husband connect through it.

Are you sure nobody has been using your actual phone to connect to those websites? I would put my bet on the IT guy.

"Google it" Maybe take your own advise unless it has monitoring software installed there is no log of what hot spot connections were doing.

Update – So it was all a bit of a disaster today and I didn’t get the answers I was really hoping for. I approached the IT guy who became immediately suspicious as to why I was bringing this up again after one week. He asked if it was because I’d given my password to someone, then said to approach my manager first so IT could do a proper audit. Oh For f*cks sake! But I did manage to ask him how he got logs of as I said I didn’t think it was possible (I don't know but I just said it to see what he said). He got somewhat annoyed by my questions but just said our IT department used various tools such as Air Watch, Apogee and MobileIron (the last one was also mentioned by someone here i think - sorry if I spelt any of those wrong). He said these programs were prone to leaking info inadvertently and not many non-tech guys realized this. I didn’t press him further cos he was already annoyed with my questions, which probably came across as odd. By the way it was Adultwork so you guys were right, it wasn’t Adwork as I'd imagined. All this leaves me very confused tbh and if I didn't give my password to anyone in the office that only leaves my hubby there are so many gaps I just don't get it I really don’t know where to go from here tbh, without the timings/dates its impossible to really confirm anything. The only thing left to do is mention it to OH in passing that this happened at my work etc etc and see how he reacts, but what if he's poker faced even if it was him? He would just deny it

I’d tell your dh that work are considering firing you for looking at dodgy sites in the work phone. See what he says. Tell them they have irrefutable proof your phone 4g accessed adultwork.

I don't know why you don't just ask your husband outright. Just ask him, you'll be able to tell from his reaction. Why are you all over mumsnet and the it guy, why didn't you ask your husband as soon as you realised?

Is there something else going on in thr relationship? For context I'd have asked mine immediately

So annoying that the IT guy became irritated, meaning that you were able to post an update, but with no real concrete details...

I'd do the same as @VivaLeBeaver

I’d tell your dh that work are considering firing you for looking at dodgy sites in the work phone. See what he says. Tell them they have irrefutable proof your phone 4g accessed adultwork.

This is the only possible course of action I can see ahead now. Argh. I don't know what will happen next but I do really hope you're ok either way OP.

I wouldn’t mention my DH having access to my hotspot(!). I’d pursue this with IT manager and my manager, saying I was reporting a breach of security and that I was distressed that my phone had been linked to porn sites (which I would be).

If your DH is accessing Adultwork via your hotspot then he is probably accessing it via your usual internet provider as well. Is there anyway you can look at the history of your home WiFi?