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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Distressed after work colleague told me my phone (hotspot) used to access Escort website?

135 replies

LonelyRose · 12/01/2020 17:10

Apologies in advance I'm not up to scratch with the posting etiquette. I've been a long-time lurker here but had no real need to post up until now that is. Also sorry if the title is confusing, I've tried to explain my problem succinctly but its a bit complicated.

I've very upset all week despite putting on a brave face in front of colleagues, friends, and family. Cut a long story short I had problems with my phone accessing the Internet during the past few weeks, i.e. pages not loading, so I handed it to one of my work colleagues in IT who told me he'd look into it. He managed to fix the problem and I got the phone back the same evening (this was on Monday), which I was happy about.

However, as he handed the phone back, he mentioned that while checking for issues, he'd come across logs that showed someone had attempted (and failed) to access an escort website called Adwork numerous times (sorry I don't remember the exact name of the site). Naturally I was a bit taken aback by this as I assumed he meant someone had used my phone while it was unattended. So I pressed him to tell me more. He said that someone had tried accessing my phone's WIFI using a second device (i.e. using my phone as a 'hotspot') so I was quite relieved. With specialist software it was possible to extract times/device names, but we both thought that was OTT as it was probably just one contractors that drift in and out of our office.

However, later that evening I suddenly remembered OH had used my phone as a hotspot last year, and I just don't wanna go down that path whatsoever (I actually feel really sick in my gut as its unthinkable for me). Up till now he hasn't given me any 'suspicions' so I'm kind of angry at myself for even entertaining that thought.

Also surely 1 year+ is a a long time for a phone to be connected to a hotspot. Surely after some time the connection would time-out or refresh and so on simply for security reasons? (Thing is I'm crap with technical stuff like that so I can't be sure).

Sorry if I'm rambling here but I don't really wanna approach my close friends about this in case they think I'm a weirdo or paranoid freak for obsessing about this. I think I am probably being unreasonable but that horrible niggly feeling at the back of my mind just won't go away.

OP posts:
CarolinaPink · 12/01/2020 18:24

Hi OP,

If your DH used your phone as a hotspot in the past then you must have given him a password. If you’ve not changed it (and it sounds as though you won’t have done that) then I can’t see why any further attempt by him to use the phone as a hotspot would have been unsuccessful. I’m certainly no expert, but my phone remembers passwords even over a period of time.

If that’s so then it sounds to me as though it was not your DH trying to access the escort site via your phone.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 12/01/2020 18:26

You don't always need passwords, mine didn't have a password for quite a while until I decided to add one. Make sure you add or change your password OP.

SuperMeerkat · 12/01/2020 18:27

There’s got to be some reason why your immediate thought immediately went to your partner. Has he done this before or given you any suspicious? This should tell you a lot. Otherwise, people are always trying to cadge free data and log onto other people’s phones. My friend told me 😆😜

lovegivelive · 12/01/2020 18:31

Adwork isn't an escort website but Adultwork is. Are you 100% sure that it was the escort site that you were being logged into?

EvaHarknessRose · 12/01/2020 18:31

Do you trust your colleague or could he be maliciously trying to embarrass you.

LtJudyHopps · 12/01/2020 18:34

Why was your IT colleague looking at your history? That’s not right. I don’t think what he’s saying adds up - if someone tried to connect to your hotspot you wouldn’t know what websites they tried to access. You MAY be able to tell what someone actually connected visited but I’m not sure on that. I’d make sure your hotspot is turned off and password protected (google how to do this for your phone or someone on here may be able to help)

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 12/01/2020 18:39

If your phone is a work phone it’s possible certain types of websites are blocked on your WiFi network. Adultwork and porn/dating sites would be pretty normal sites to be blocked. This would explain why the person was unable to access them.

There is no way the phone would store information about people trying to access your hotspot and failing because that happens all the time so this person was already on your hotspot and can only do that if you have given them the password. If your DH is the only person you’ve ever given the password too then it’s only going to be him that has been using your hotspot. It’s also entirely possible he was using it while you weren’t using your phone so you won’t necessarily have seen the blue bar across the top of your screen. You could’ve been in the bath, sleeping, making dinner, watching tv etc

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2020 18:41

Logs of websites will come up if it's a company phone.

And yes if the husband has previously used the hot spot he can again when he wishes. I think this is more likely that the it guy lying or some random hacking her hotspot and searching escort sites.

I think in the balance of probability it's your husband.

R1R2 · 12/01/2020 18:41

There is something deeply fishy about what your IT guy is saying. Most phones do not store this data and certainly not in log form that can be read without specialist software(either a app to log it or digital forensics after the fact). Someone is telling porkies.

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2020 18:45

My company can see what I've visited and can access it, and for a very long time after. It's not uncommon with big companies.

RealBecca · 12/01/2020 18:55

It probably is your DH, sorry.

When I have used a hotspot I basically turn DHs on, enter the password and connect. That easy. He could easily have connected and then turned it off til later. Sorry.

youwouldthink · 12/01/2020 19:23

The hotspot password is usaually just in the hotspot enabling place. Once its connected once it will remember the password whenever another dvice connects to your hotspot, much the same as it remembers the code for any other WiFi connection. However if your hotspot is on it will show on the top of the screen alongside battery indicator etc and you would notice.
You could check this by turning the hotspot on now and see and then turn off again

Emmelina · 12/01/2020 19:55

A hotspot just provides a connection, surely? Any browsing history would be on the device connected to the hotspot.
So if Adwork (adultwork?) is in the history, it was accessed on your phone. Either accidentally (a pop up), or deliberately (searches for or URL entered).
Why was the IT bloke looking through your history?
Or perhaps he tried accessing it and to cover his behind he’s saying it was already there?

Thereflex9 · 12/01/2020 19:59

None of this adds up or makes sense. It's just not possible regardless of what phone you're using.

NinjaBiscuit · 12/01/2020 20:12

There is a lot here that doesn’t sound quite right. Is it a work phone? Do you leave your hotspot on all the time? Does it have a password? Is it a strong one? We’re the attempts spread out over days? Hours? Weeks? So many questions. I think it’s unlikely the attempts at the website are your OH - for that to be the case he must still be using your hotspot (why? He must have better ways of getting the internet), or your colleague looked much further back into the history than he is entitled to. I also think should always turn your hotspot off if you are not using it. Change your password to something strong. If your OH is using it, that will boot him (or whoever else it is using it) off and will protect you better in the future too. If your still concerned, get some more detailed info of your colleague, but remember it could also be a neighbour or colleague doing trying to take advantage of your internet access. Good luck OP.

Original poster
LonelyRose · 12/01/2020 20:49

Thank you for your replies guys, though to be honest they have really filled me with more dread than when I posted this. Sorry I can't answer every individual reply as it would take too long. But to answer some points that were raised:

a) Yes, my husband is the only person who I'd given the password to, no one else. But he was the one that sorted out the hotspot and its something I've never touched. No-one else knows my password and my children are too little to be able to set up a hotspot.

b) I am 100% certain no-one from work knows the password

c) This is actually my work phone which I also use as a personal phone, so whoever tried to access the escort site was restricted but the visits were logged

d) Not sure why the IT guy would be telling lies, but I will see him tomorrow and hopefully clear this up, ditto with times

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/01/2020 21:03

Does it have a password?

I don't think it's been possible to have a hotspot without a password for years. It's definitely not possible on an iPhone; google suggests it was stopped at the same time on android too.

NinjaBiscuit · 12/01/2020 21:14

Op, I’m sorry you feel worse (and are in this position at all). I hope you find evidence of something else going on to explain all of this when you chat to the IT bloke tomorrow. All the best.

CassidyStone · 12/01/2020 21:15

I think the IT guy tried to access the site using your phone while he was supposedly fixing it, then realised you might notice his activities in your browsing history, so has swiftly planted the seed of suspicion in you that it's someone who has used your phone as a hot spot previously, and definitely not him trying to arrange a date with Little Miss Naughty on Adultwork.

EvaHarknessRose · 12/01/2020 21:19

Oh ok, he mentioned it because the visits were logged and it's a work phone, so IT guy has probably done nothing. I'm sorry OP.

titchy · 12/01/2020 21:23

Adwork isn't an adult escort site.... I think your IT chap has either assumed it was, or, more likely, is telling you lies, maybe for nefarious reasons, maybe to wind you up.

ffswhatnext · 12/01/2020 21:29

If its adwork it's media related.
Adultwork is the escort site.
Ask the IT guy for the details. Depending on where you work he might have to flag up trying to access adultwork, so having the specific details will help you from any comeback.

SouthWestmom · 12/01/2020 21:33

I don't understand the situation

Your phone (work) wasn't working properly
You previously let your dh use it as a hot spot (prob against company rules)
IT say someone tried to access the phone as a hot spot (did they succeed?) but couldn't tell you when or which device
They could see that that attempt at access also failed to access an escort website?

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 12/01/2020 21:43

Its adultwork. Op just couldn’t remember the exact name the IT guy told her.

Bluntness100 · 12/01/2020 22:37

I think the IT guy tried to access the site using your phone while he was supposedly fixing it

Why would he possibly do that? And then tell her? 🤣