To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Thing is, if you are earning a good salary and struggling financially, some posters are very invested in proving that it is because you are financially illiterate and stop buying takeaways and coffees and you will be fine.

Sometimes you just are shafted. Years ago we were caught out by massively rising interest rates and an unplanned second pregnancy. LikEwise the OP is struggling because of debt from medical expenses. I’m sure she’s done all she can. Sometimes you just need a vent.

Well, I have RTFT and what screams to me from the OP and from Disorganised something or other is that some people have no idea what the difference between 'essential' and 'choice' is.

Well, nurse quoted me clearly saying what the thread was for.

So either you have problems reading, or didn’t bother.

Which is it?

Oh dear is this how you talk to your pupils and / or staff??

I don’t think you can post on a forum like MN saying £85k isn’t enough to not be skint and expect to just get sympathy

Many have to live on much much less than that

Many find it a struggle on that but accept its their life choices that have led to it so suck it up

The most frustrating thing for me is that it’s clear the OP doesn’t actually understand exactly where her money goes or even if what comes in is correct- it’s all just guess work that changes from post to post

The reason posters are annoyed is because OP has basically posted a thread saying "me and DH earn loads of money, and should be rich but we have spent it all" and then has refused to give any details

She basically just wanted a pity party because she doesn't have as much money as she wants. Which she hasn't got and is now getting pissy.

You can't expect people to offer sympathy, or post their own circumstances if you won't.

OP have a

Op accuses others of being rude, but is probably rudest on here.

So what do we draw from all these pages......

Op has a good income but finds herself with no money each month. There are certainly things she could do to improve her financial position and manage debt so her children aren’t brought up in a culture of financial struggle and underlying stress which is unavoidable in these circumstances, but she’s not interested in addressing the issues.

She chooses to remain in the unsatisfactory financial situation and keep her children there too. But she’d like some sympathy from other MNers who also find these selves struggling - not info from those who actually did something about it, just those who also remained, determined that zero should change, not even willing to look into those things.

Things absolutely can be better. It’s not really about not having coffees or those little things which people see as platitudes. It absolutely isn’t the case that there is nothing to be done. The things that can be done might not be easy but they are there. Funnily enough, like most things, expert advice can help.

But finances and difficulties can be like addictions. People don’t like to tell someone, or tell them the detail. And they don’t want to take the action needed. They would rather stay in the mire and keep their family there rather than address it because addressing it is difficult and painful.

Financial difficulties are often tied up with relationship problems, including lack of honesty and full disclosure about money. People are often ashamed about a lack of honesty on a relationship or spending choices or other choices. They prefer to not say even if it means years of struggling and that things might get worse.

I’m a debt advisor - I’ve seen people come with high, low and pretty much no income. I’ve seen them come early in the issue and only when they’ve suffered for years and years and had to sink to rock bottom before they would seek help. And I know of lots who never come....who just about get by, but with a really reduced quality of life.

Why struggle on and be miserable if there are possibilities which can make a huge difference .....and there actually are.

Hear Hear Greydove28 👏

Hear hear @Greydove28

Except she’s been deleted, so no one will ever know. How sad.

Ok cheeries now you are just getting goady

Where in Europe doesn’t like tourism?

Amsterdam

Sorry cherries

Not intentionally. But people are being rude to me, so you do get to the point where th start being rude back.

I read it as op does know where her money goes - £6k + a year on a loan /debt

But due to that she’s struggling as their joint salary literally covers

Childcare
Mortgage
Bills
Food shopping

How long has loan got? Know you said April and Aug stop but anymore after that

Just the one

Op, it's quite clear from this post and previous ones that the situation isn't going to get better.

The only way it is realistically is to cut the pension contributions. I know you've said you've been "advised" but I think you should seek a little better advise..perhaps a second opinion.

Not intentionally. But people are being rude to me, so you do get to the point where th start being rude back.

You’ve been rude to everyone who’s not been sympathetic to your self created situation

I'm amazed that you're still engaging with people, OP. The vast majority are responding to an entirely different OP to the one you posted, and while your responses are humorously frustrated, other people's are downright spiteful.

As for the people blatantly and outingly referring to something that you deleted because you clearly didn't want that information out there...WTF is the matter with people?

Op, have you received the sympathy (not advice) you hoped for now, after almost 30 pages? That’s what you say you were looking for?

If not, I note you’re still here and engaging....which makes me wonder if you wanted something else from the thread.

• you say you didn’t want advice from the thread (although lots of people kindly gave up their time to mention really good things which might help you feel less strapped for cash at the end of each month)
• you say you wanted sympathy, but most posts haven’t been with that and your engagement has mostly been being cross with other posters for not telling you things you want to hear, or arguing about the purpose of the thread and then drip feeding bits of info.

I’d have thought the thread might satisfy someone who wanted to generate pages of discussion, minor irritation and no real outcome.

But you want sympathy for your position of decent income which is more than spent each month and isn’t satisfactory but you don’t want to do anything about it. Perhaps that sympathy will suddenly emerge ....either from others remaining in economic misery or those remaining in other miseries of different types, who likewise want sympathy but no action or change. Perhaps they will suddenly appear to satisfy you Op, because they haven’t so far and in most cases, Ops wanting these things would have been long gone with disappointment ........instead of battling about the semantics of the thread for pages and pages.

Hmmmm.

I've caught up with the whole thread now. Long read and I do think there is some good advice here. Not sure why OP is so bolshy though. Have you posted about this before OP. I don't know why but it seems familiar. Maybe I'm mixing you up with someone else. I hope you get on track anyway but you should maybe be less snappy with folk trying to help you.

Had a lot of sympathy for OP to begin with but reading her replies and how her attitude is coming across through those made me completely lose that sympathy.

Also, totally agree with WombatChocolate.

Actually thinking about it things should improve for you incredibly fast.

Do you pay your council tax on the 10 month system? If so then this is your last month of things feeling quite so hard. In Feb and March you won’t have to pay council tax. And then in April your first loan finishes. And then in August your second loan finishes.

The trick now though is to make sure the extra cash doesn’t just get lost in day to day expenses.

I did my best to be sympathetic whilst offering advice from my own experience of being in a similar position, @WombatChocolate.

We get by on around £30k joint income pa - both fiancé and I work ft on relatively low wages. No debts and just about get by. Two kids shared custody with my ex (50/50 court enforced so no maintenance) and another one on the way with fiancé. No other income at all except Child Benefit for one child. Rent £900 p/m so things are tight but we manage.