To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Don’t be facetious. Many medical expenses are not covered by the “lovely NHS”.

Imagine your child is in hospital 60km from your home and the cost of travelling to be with them, the extortionate parking fees, the additional wrap around care for your other DC.

Or

You’ve suffered a medical trauma and need counselling just to get through the day.

Or

You’ve had surgery which severely limits your mobility and need additional help at home because you’re perhaps in a wheelchair and don’t have family that can step in and help.

Those are significant costs all before you’ve factored in that you’ve list your entire income in any one of those scenarios.

Where in Europe doesn’t like tourism?
Off the top of my head Barcelona , Santorini , I imagine the locals in Cornwall have a love / hate relationship with them . Air bnbs are a huge problem for the locals in many cities all over Europe .
Perhaps we need a separate thread to discuss the advantage and disadvantages of tourism ?

Santorini doesn’t like tourism?! I’ve heard it all now!

@Nanna50 and @BarbaraofSeville

I’m not on a lot less than the OP and am another teacher - it is actually correct. The OP isn’t hiding another 1k. Please read what some people who actually know have posted instead of assuming salary amounts.

There is a difference at feeling poor and BEING poor which the OP is and really shouldn't be IMO. I know that may sound preachy but really 85k and scrimping every week to even get enough money to get to work? Serious bad decisions have been made and a total mind reset is needed, it is no way to live and resentment and anger will bubble away IMO

Pegasus. I have had a DC in intensive care. They give you parking pass for free if your DC is in for more than a day or two.

Ok I'll concede those costs are valid. But you don't describe costs like those by saying "I dont regret it". Regret is a word for describing choices. If you incur the sort of costs you described, you would say "I had no choice".

I agree with a pp, I'm not sure it's 100% "medical" expenses.

I had IVF

Fair enough OP

The reason makes sense now but it does mean it was a choice you now have to pay for

I do hope you take some of the advice on here and check you income and outgoings thoroughly

I’d be willing to bet there’s saving to be made

Excuse me noi that is not a countrywide policy, some hospitals may but by no means all and in any event, if your child is in hospital and one or both of you can’t work as a result, that’s going to lead to a loss in income, isn’t it?

Right well at least we know where the debt appeared from. It’s sad you needed it, but at least it worked. I have friends £30,000 in debt and no baby

market town in the south east, a small flat costs half a million pounds

Which market town is like that? Please tell me so I can go look on Rightmove.

What a daft thread.

With money difficulties you have to be willing to recognise there is a problem, voice it clearly and then be willing to listen to advice and are some action.

Op isn't at the point of being able to do these things. For whatever reason she can't/won't reveal the full picture of her finances so no-one is able to properly comment on the situation. She insists there is nothing to be done - isn't open to seeking or hearing advice or to making changes which will improve the situation.

I conclude that she will either plod on in the misery of scraping by for much longer than necessary, until she naturally becomes better off due to child care costs reducing (although she mig find things might not be much better off, because people with poor money management often find something else causes further problems after one issue is resolve disputes). Or she might find her situation gets worse to the point that she has no choice but to seek help. Perhaps she isn't at her lowest point yet and is one of those who needs to be in a terrible situation before seeking help and acting.

What a shame - being open about the situation, seeking advice and being willing to do something could lead to a turnaround in a matter of weeks and months. Not doing so can result in years of misery.

Well that was my suspicion. It doesn't really feel like you're engaging with it and I feel like you don't feel like you can a) change anything about your situation or are b) interested in any of the advice on this thread. I think that's a real shame because there may be something on here that could make a real difference to your life and your family's life. People on here are on the whole very well meaning and often have some really good advice. And there's some really good advice on here in amongst some of the more random comments.

There are rather a lot of random comments.

I suppose. I've clearly been spoiled, when DD was in NICU, then PICU then a local HDU (5 weeks in all) DH and I employers allowed us enough flex to manage, between compassionate & parental leave, and allowing DH to flex hours to do both pick up & drop off for DS from childcare. We do also have emergency savings and we used them!

OK, so the medical costs were IVF, many congratulations OP, it's brilliant that worked for you.

However, I would have thought that childcare costs would be a totally predictable future expense in that case, which should have been factored in and saved towards whilst you didn't have that outlay?

Has anybody noticed I withdrew that comment?

Why did you withdraw it?

Well you were fortunate then @noidont. As was I when my DC was hospitalised for a lengthy period (although no free parking here). But surely you recognise that you were in a fortunate position?

And that if you weren’t it would have cost you money?

Having IVF is hardly identifying?

But Cherries, are you actually interested in addressing your financial difficulties? Do you want to hear about things you could do/people who could help you? Are you actually willing to make any changes?

Or do you just want a long thread with people begging you for more information? Is it just attention seeking and not really about improving your financial position?

Not even remotely thanks, wombat, I’m doing everything I can and will continue to do so.

@cherriesandapplesandberries no one will notice and it will be repeatedly referenced.

You can ask @mumsnetHQ to delete your thread for “privacy reasons” and they probably will despite there being nothing in here which would identify you. Which would be a great pity because it’s been an insightful (if not at times batshit) thread

Why are you still reading this thread OP and posting?

It’s my thread

Why are you lola?