To ask for your TINY wedding stories

[SomethingBlue22]

NC for this

OH has proposed and we want a registry office and our children there. No other guests. The obvious answer to avoid upsetting family and friends would be go abroad but its not an option for at least 2 reasons and is unlikely to change.

I know it's our day and we can have the wedding we want etc but I'd really like to come out of it married but without having pissed everyone off. I'm about the marriage rather than the wedding and that's the important thing.

Anyone who has done this, did it go well and any tips? AIBU to want to have it our way?

Whatever you do, whatever wedding you have you will piss someone off. Doesn’t matter if you elope alone to Gretna, go to Vegas or have 400 guests in a castle someone will be annoyed. So you may as well just please yourselves.

Friends of ours did this and then invited everyone to a picnic in the park to celebrate. It was lovely and low key and super them. One of the brides sisters kicked off a bit because her other sister who she was much closer to was one of the witnesses but as a pp said - you are never going to please everybody.

We did.
We didn’t tell any one until the week before.
I hired a dress for about £100, dh wore his “interview “ suite.
Booked the registry office for a week day, miss afternoon.
Those we told the week before we just said that we would meet them at s local pub for a drink afterwards, gave them a time and that was that.

My dad offered to pay for a meal for 16 people of our choice at the pub we were meeting people at, including him and his wife.

Dhs cousin made us a lovely little chocolate cake for £20, I bought a little bunch of flowers to hold.
We got rings in the sale, less than £200 for the two.

It was bloody marvellous and no one was upset or annoyed...or if they were they got absolutely zero joy or attention about it from us.

Cost about £500 all together.

We were skint, just bought our house which needed renovation so we had little spare cash.

That was 20 years ago. Lovely day.

We had my dc and fil. Made a point of uninviting mil!!
Chef ds cooked at our home and we had a lovely afternoon.
No regrets - 5 years this summer!

We were Married in the Garden of our house in Cyprus. DH,DD,DN and I.
We didn't tell anyone, everyone thought we were off on holiday.
It was the best day ever.
We did have a small party for family and friends when we came home.

My friends dd got married when they registered their baby. Just had both mums as witnesses.

They didn't have the ceremony, just basic vows and signing the registery all whilst sat holding their newborn........ I thought it was pretty damn perfect so far as weddings go.

I was a witness for a registry office wedding a while ago, I worked in the same building so the staff often asked us. A couple in jeans, their kids, a bunch of flowers from the Sainsbury's Local across the road. They so clearly loved one another, it was beautiful. Just do that then invite people to meet you in the pub or something if you like.

We had 10 including us - parents and siblings. All went away to a lovely hotel for a weekend and had the service at 5pm followed by a great boozy dinner, got my dress in the sale at Debenhams, my mum did some flowers and my sister did my hair and make up.

All our friends were supportive, I had one aunt who wasn’t happy (and vocal about it) but she got over it and we get along fine now and laugh about it.

Previous poster is correct - whatever kind of wedding you have someone will criticize or disapprove so you may as well do what makes you happy

We did this, just us and the kids. We invited both sets of parents (about a week before, secret from everyone else). Beautiful lunch in local restaurant after. Did it on Christmas Eve which has always seemed a magical day to me. Noone minded, everyone was just very happy for us.

We're planning exactly this this year. Been together almost 20 years, have 2 DC. Don't plan to do anything after with others. Neither of us like holding parties or being centre of attention. I expect some pissed off-ness and perhaps some hurt but I don't think it will last. It feels too important to compromise on.

We went away for a few days to a cottage and came back married. The company provide accommodation, a piper and photographer (who are witnesses). Our wedding, our business!

We married 5 months after we met, it was no secret, but just due to finances, speed and convenience we had a registry office wedding. Only both sets of parents were present and our fathers were our witnesses. I wouldn't have changed a thing about the day. We walked around the lovely historic town after and they took some beautiful photos of us, then we all went to a local restaurant for a meal afterwards. It was absolutely perfect.

I once went to a civil partnership on my lunch break. I happened to work in the same building as the Registry Office so I just popped down and was a witness to my friends' ceremony, then went back to work. Just the couple and two witnesses. Party in the evening at a bar they ran. Lovely!

We had 14 including us.
registry office ( by taxi) then private dining room in a very very nice restaurant all round one big table.
No cake, no speeches. no seating plan.
we paid for all drinks, food and accommodation and it was amazing. really really amazing.
No idea if wider family were annoyed as I've never asked and they wouldn't be so rude as to say anything anyway.

My parents did, went out at lunch time with two friends from the office to witness the wedding, they had asked their boss for a slightly longer lunch hour and he gave them the afternoon off. Married over 60 years.

My own wedding was very small, register office, three people as witnesses, two others joined us for lunch afterwards and that was it. I have no idea if anyone was offended, no one said anything and there have been no fallings out. Married over 30 years.

And I don't understand the tiny wedding but then throwing a party.
Doesn't that mean you're still having a big do with lots of people? Just the actual ceremony is small in numbers?
I think it's ruder to have a party with people not deemed good enough for the ceremony. after all, the ceremony isn't more expensive the more people there are so if you're paying for the do anyway you may as well invite people to watch the legal bit.
or have i got the wrong end of the stick?

we did this, us , 3 kids and 2 friends as witnesses. A small party in the afternoon at our house for local friends. Told parents afterwards. My DPs seemed to accept it OK, it's not like they were excluded from anything major, it was just a formality for us to protect me (pension wise) and the DC.
was fine

We had a tiny wedding, us plus parents and siblings in local registry office, lunch at a nice local restaurant, then back home for cake and fizz. It was fab. BIL phoned the aunties that evening to tell them we’d got married - which he really enjoyed!

We eloped, just us and the kids, people just thought we were away for the weekend. We went to a place in the highlands which was pretty reasonably priced. I bought a dress, he hired a suit and I got the kids some lovely dresses.
We booked it 28 days before the ceremony (legal minimum notice) and kept it secret. We went to a little pub down the road for dinner.
Best day ever! Nobody was upset with us, or if they were they said nothing!

Our registry was just a formality for us as we had undertaken a religious ceremony abroad with our families. But we knew everyone would want to be there and would then want an event.
So we booked it for a Saturday morning, asked our closest couples friend (i.e. friends of both me and my partner) and their other resident family member! Had a lovely ceremony and then brunch. We then all went to our own respective homes and then we all met up for a lovley dinner that night!
Wore a new outfit that I had, he wore his original wedding suit, friend took pics and we used our original rings. Friend also bought confetti!!
Had the most beautiful day with lovely friends and good food. No fuss, just love!!

We did this just our kids and my parents. Dh is NC with his parents so want a problem.
The problem is the rest of DH's family now refuse to talk to us.
We had previously arranged such a big wedding had cost thousands of pounds in deposits etc but it didn't feel right.
If we had to do it all again I'd change nothing. We had a registry office wedding then like a tea party at our home. It was mid summer so lovely weather in the garden. And cost us less then 500 pounds with outfits included. I have lived with DH's family hating us for the past 4 years and I've not lost any sleep over it. You do what feels right for you and your Oh.
Good luck

We did this in December. Just 10 guests including our baby DD. Registry office, then champagne and cake at a lovely Air BnB my mum hired, then a meal at a restaurant that my dad paid for. It was a lovely day and everyone had a blast!

We went to Gretna Green. DH is close to his brother & so him & his wife came with us. Asked them if they fancied a weekend away with us so they could organise childcare. Then only told them about the wedding a few days before as needed bil's measurements to hire him a matching outfit to DH. I'd bought a dress in a sale & also a hat & shoes. Borrowed a pale clutch bag. Had official registry office ceremony, then had an anvil wedding in the Blacksmith's shop. We had booked a local photographer after date was confirmed. Went for a lovely meal later then phoned parents to give them a few days to calm down before we went home! Didn't tell anyone else until we got back. Cost £350 including 3 nights b&b.

Families were not happy, but we had just bought a house & had very little money. We had to do it all ourselves, parents unable/unwilling to help with anything (yet when we originally said we were getting married, MIL started making a list of who she wanted to invite!).

No regrets 29 years later. You can never please everyone, so do what makes you happy. If others are going to give you grief regardless, get married & tell them afterwards. Congratulations & good luck 🥂🍾

Yup, we just had us and two witnesses. Neither of us were keen on marriage, but DH had written off our car and we needed the married tax rebate to buy a replacement!
In those days you got the rebate backdated for the whole year, and the marriage licence only cost £13.50. We put our marriage certificate away in a drawer and pretended it had never happened. We didn’t celebrate anniversaries and I kept my own surname.
We had 16 wonderful years together and two DC, before DH died. The marriage was then at last some use, as it qualified me for a Widow’s pension, which I still receive 28 years later.

We had 10 including us - parents and siblings. All went away to a lovely hotel for a weekend and had the service at 5pm followed by a great boozy dinner, got my dress in the sale at Debenhams, my mum did some flowers and my sister did my hair and make up.

This is almost exactly what we did - right down to buying the dress in Debenhams. Some family members were grumpy about it, including MIL who was actually invited, but it's not their wedding. Inviting immediate family (9 including ourselves) was actually larger than we wanted but we did it to keep the peace as MIL would not have been understanding had we excluded here. We wanted to marry in secret with just the pair of us and 2 witnesses but the compromise was fine and we had a nice day.

I just wanted the marriage, really didn't want a big fuss of a wedding.