To ask for your TINY wedding stories

[SomethingBlue22]

NC for this

OH has proposed and we want a registry office and our children there. No other guests. The obvious answer to avoid upsetting family and friends would be go abroad but its not an option for at least 2 reasons and is unlikely to change.

I know it's our day and we can have the wedding we want etc but I'd really like to come out of it married but without having pissed everyone off. I'm about the marriage rather than the wedding and that's the important thing.

Anyone who has done this, did it go well and any tips? AIBU to want to have it our way?

We did a registry office - attended by our 2 witnesses and our 2dc.

Made the mistake of telling people beforehand and ended up with a massive surprise hen do the weekend before, a bit of drama from one of my oldest friends (upset we hadn't asked her to be a witness), our families were understanding about the small ceremony.

It was lovely.

We could have afforded a great big shindig with big white dress, country hotel, and live band but just felt it was more of a piece of "life admin" than a celebration of us as a couple...

We did exactly as you've suggested OP - registry office with just my husband and I, our photographer and her husband (who came along to be the second witness). We did consider inviting parents only but were worried about the issue of upsetting people who weren't invited. We had a fabulous time: booked into a hotel the night before and night after (it wasn't our local registry office - we went to a pretty town with a gorgeous registry office), had a massage each at the hotel after the ceremony and photographs, went for dinner in a Michellin star restaurant and drank our way through the gin menu! I wouldn't change a thing!! And actually, no-one had any issues with how we'd done it. Or at least, not that they said to us!

We had a weekday wedding with just four friends. Went to the coast, got married in the register office, ate fish and chips. Came home and took them out for a nice meal in the evening. It was lovely and we are still married 18 years later.

We did the tiny wedding and a party. Real wedding was us and 2 witness, told no one else. Had a fab day. Then we told everyone. Well 90% of people were fine but it kicked off massively with my in laws. So to keep peace we had a party / fake wedding. It was actually loads of fun. Totally informal and just a lovely excuse to celebrate with friends and family on a sunny summer day. I will never tell mil but I am really glad we did it. P.s holding a party is X10 cheaper than a wedding for the exact same thing, and you can go where you like as it doesn't need to be registered.

Yes, just us two - hotel manager was our organiser, photographer, witness.... It was fab and I wouldn't change it.

DH proposed on the first day of a SE Asian holiday and we did it a couple of days later. Everyone is different, if you think the fall out will be too much then maybe it's not the best thing. We knew that our family wouldn't be too up in arms and we knew that we wanted a quiet wedding!

Sorry I should say that really it is irrelevant whether you are abroad or not - we have other friends who did registry, followed by lunch, in the UK - just them and their 2 DC. It was totally the right thing for them.

I thought we did well only spending £1800 on ours!

Dh wanted a big wedding that we couldn't afford and I would of been happy just us and 2 witnesses so we compromised on registry office and pub do which we both enjoyed and we had about 50 guests all of who seemed happy as well

My only advice would be make sure you tell family afterwards (if you don't tell them before), even a text is preferable to what happened in my family. One of my brothers got married in secret and we all found out through village gossip, because his step kids knew and obviously told people because they hadn't been told it was a secret . It was a bit embarrassing because people assumed we knew, and we were all caught off guard. I had a conversation with a mum from school who said "ooohh congratulations I hear your brother just got married" which I then denied and said she was mistaken. The ramifications in the family have been quite serious. As with all family stuff there is way more to this story than I want to share here, but had my DB and SIL told us it wouldn't have created the issues it has. The upset wasn't around us not being there, we genuinely didn't mind, but the manner in which we all found out. I hope you have a lovely day.