To ask for your TINY wedding stories

[SomethingBlue22]

NC for this

OH has proposed and we want a registry office and our children there. No other guests. The obvious answer to avoid upsetting family and friends would be go abroad but its not an option for at least 2 reasons and is unlikely to change.

I know it's our day and we can have the wedding we want etc but I'd really like to come out of it married but without having pissed everyone off. I'm about the marriage rather than the wedding and that's the important thing.

Anyone who has done this, did it go well and any tips? AIBU to want to have it our way?

Did a register office job, just the two of us and witnesses grabbed from the street.
Dinner at a posh London hotel (again just the two of us)
Don't regret it for a minute.

We're planning to get married this year at some point.

Registry office in our local library, no special clothes. Take the kids out of school for the afternoon so they can be there, my best friend and possibly someone off the street.

Then invite everyone to a meal that week, somewhere cheap. They don't have to come if they don't want, won't be anything fancy.

The ONLY thing that makes me sad about doing it this way is that I'm a cake maker. I want a fucking gorgeous cake, and the scale of the weddinng won't warrant it! Makes me sad. Might just make one anyway/

I wanted to have a tiny wedding at home. I was talked into not having a tiny wedding at home by various family, so didn’t purely to not piss off relatives. Even though it wasn’t straightforward with family tensions I was trying to avoid in the first place, it was ultimately fun so I don’t regret it. However, I do still get wistful about the tiny wedding we never had (and the house renovation that never happened because we spent the money on a big wedding instead) But we moved countries unexpectedly very soon after so I wouldn’t have got or enjoyed the renovation anyway. Things have a weird way of working out for the best so try not to agonise over the decision. Random internet person & Vikkimoog you are both lucky that your families had the manners to keep their mouths shut if they were disappointed.

There were 8 of us if that counts.

Woke up, pottered about, got dressed into a Ted Baker jumpsuit (me) and new suit which DH now wears to other events. One friend and our immediate family came over, we cracked open some champagne, got taxi to registry office, had the ceremony, went to the pub and then for a meal at a Thai restaurant. Ended the evening watching Peep Show and swigging champers from
the bottle. It was lovely, no regrets.

Got married at Gretna Green at the blacksmiths shop in 2005. Me, DH and the kids. Both sets of parents were aware and happy for us to do it our way. It was a 2nd marriage for me, 1st for DH, neither of us wanted a fuss. We were going to do it at a registry office but decided to have a holiday in Scotland and combine it with Gretna Green.
Nearly 15 years later, still blissfully happy and have no regrets at all.

We did this, just us and two friends as witnesses who we asked the day before. Had sounded out both sets of parents beforehand as in "how would you feel if we did this..." and both said no problem. Took a couple of days off work, went to registry office (on the bus!), took friends out for a nice lunch. Then had a night in a posh local hotel for the 'honeymoon'! It was fab, really fun and zero stress. Cost about £300 all in. Most people were fine, a few friends/ colleagues clearly didn't approve but I reckon that's their problem not ours. Neither of us are keen on big occasions or being the centre of attention so a big wedding has zero appeal. We did it because I was pregnant with DS and was cheaper to get married at registry office than draw up legal agreement to give us same rights! Just do whatever you fancy.

We got married in a registry office (just parents and siblings) and then had a celebratory dinner in a restaurant for a bigger group. We did end up angering some people, but we had a lovely day and don't regret it at all. I think it's hard when older generations think of weddings differently than we do today. I do recommend having a small wedding if that's what you want.

I'm vaguely planning my second wedding and have already pissed of my sister because I don't want bridesmaids, which means that my niece who has never been a bridesmaid won't get the chance to ever be one.....I mean it's not like she hasn't got friends, cousins, a brother

OK it wasn't that tiny but we did 30 people at a hotel with a sit down meal.

Ceremony at hotel, no evening do.

Everybody was delighted we had no evening do, I had no idea they were that unpopular!

Have also gone to wedding at a church. Tea and cake after in church hall, again no other do. It had a fabulous informal feel and that it was v much about the marriage, not a wedding. Loved it.

We didn't tell anyone except our chosen witnesses that we'd done it till about six months later

We are doing this. It's second time around for both of us. The wedding party will be 8 including us and the only guests are our offspring and their partners. We are not telling anyone our plans and will make the announcement once it's done.

The ONLY thing that makes me sad about doing it this way is that I'm a cake maker. I want a fucking gorgeous cake, and the scale of the weddinng won't warrant it! Makes me sad. Might just make one anyway

If you want a fucking gorgeous cake then have one. The size of the wedding is irrelevant. It is a celebration and you should have what you want.

There was just us and our 2 witnesses. We didn't tell anybody as, although my parents are dead, I felt my elder brother might try and 'interfere' and persuade us to have all the rest of the family present. We took our two witnesses out for lunch afterwards and we had a brilliant, chatty and happy day. Mind you, we are in our 60's and had been together for 24 years when we married, so it seemed a bit late in our lives for big celebrations!

Neighbours of ours had a church wedding with just them, the priest and the witnesses. Apparently it was lovely, and far fewer people than you'd think were offended because nobody was invited so there was no favouritism.
Afterwards they both went back to work!

We had two friends as witnesses and had cake and champagne after. DH and I went for a lovely dinner.

It was an excellent day. I have no regrets. We had a big party on our 10th wedding anniversary, which was more stressful than fun so I got the experience.

The family got over it, what was there to do after the fact (and I was 8 months pregnant and they were relieved)

I actually wish I'd had a tiny wedding. As it was, there were 8 people I knew and 242 of MrCarpet's closest friends and family. It was all about him really and I felt a bit excluded from my own wedding.

If I were to marry again (unlikely since I'm Catholic and MrC is showing every sign of living to a ripe old age) I would insist on just us, the priest and the witnesses on a weekday morning.

We had DHs 2 DC ( both little) my dad his mum and a couple we are very close to with their 3 little kids. My dress cost £35, DH wire his work suit, we bought the kids new outfits but DSS refused to wear his so wore his crocodile suit instead. We had lunch at cafe rouge. It was fab

We did it at Gretna Green with two witnesses. Had told family months before - almighty fuss about the fact that we weren't having guests, I wasn't being given away, what about 'tradition' blah, blah, blah.

It calmed down when I pointed out that I wasn't going to change my mind about having a big wedding, and that if they carried on then I would cancel and not get married at all.

People will always kick off - it's what they do. But tell them calmly and they will come to terms with it.

Mine was me, DH, the photographer and the wedding planner's assistant. And the registrar, of course, We married in Gibraltar, they were our witnesses then the photographer drove us all over Gib and we had photos in four different places including going up the rock in the cable car. The only reason we had a wedding planner was for convenience of organising paperwork while not being there.

@2020yeah sounds perfect!

We got married on our own at a registry office. Told everyone we were doing it right from the start, and making it clear it was our issue, not theirs (ie e don't like attention, not because we don't like everyone else!). My mum arranged for a bouquets of flowers to be delivered on the day, in-laws arranged for a bagpiper to play as we came out (it was in Scotland). The admin people from the office were our witnesses, we get absolutely legless at the local pub afterwards (we were on holiday so didn't know anyone but they were aware we getting married and arranged for some free champagne for us all which was just lovely and a total surprise). It was all just perfect. Parents insisted on a little gathering when we got back. It was uncomfortable and not our sort of day at all, made us appreciate why we did it the way we did. Still don't see that gathering as anything to do with our getting married. My mum was put out, I think my in-laws were too, but frankly there would have been something to annoy them whatever we did, so doing it our way at least means we have very fond memories of it all.

@Vickiemoog yeah I don't understand the party afterwards. The whole point is we want a tiny wedding. The party is part of that. At the most we'd just want a meal straight afterwards with us and kids.

We had DD and 2 witnesses which were required.

The issue isn't really cost, it's health related and the fact neither of us likes to be centre of attention. I've been to huge weddings and loved being a guest but always knew that wasn't for me.

PP that mentioned wanting a fucking cake. Have the fucking cake. Seriously.

I plan to dress the kids up in whatever they feel comfortable in and I plan on wearing a dress. I don't care if it's only us who will see it!

We went to Gretna, just the two of us. The photographer and wedding coordinator at the venue were witnesses. We called our respective parents afterwards. They were upset/annoyed, but did later concede that we were right to do it how we wanted. We had a party a month later. Wouldn't change a thing about it if we did it again.