sleeping in the spare room

[Doodar]

DH sleeps with the TV on and refuses to turn it off even if he's asleep
He goes to the toilet multiple times a night
He rolls over and bashes me with his arm, I can only sleep on my left hand side
He closes all windows and cranks the heating up, its like a sauna
He wakes me up to approve his out fit options
He constantly blows his nose throughout the night

he says I'm out of order sleeping in the spare room AIBU

He’s a dick

Nope!

YANBU sleeping in a spare room in a different house.....

He’s a inconsiderate bellend!

He's just been ranting to our DS about me not sleeping with him, I'll show him your replies

YANBU! And I hope you've made the spare room just as good as the main bedroom. Buy bedding you like and a good mattress and scented candles.

Is he just this inconsiderate in the bedroom or is this symptomatic of the rest of the relationship?

I'd be also thinking different house, let alone different bedroom!

not much action in that department anymore either

YANBU. He sounds like a selfish dick.

What's he like in general?

Honestly, I don't know how you haven't divorced him by now!!!

My sleep is precious to me, especially since I had children.

You're not being precious needing to have no TV on to sleep, it's totally normal to want to be an appropriate temperature and not be whacked through the night.

Each of the things you mention would make me not want to sleep with someone, but ALL of those things, your husband is a total bellend who is torturing you!!!! What an arse!

generally self centred and selfish

Cant believe I missed the main one, he smokes in the bedroom.

I've said before that my "spare" bedroom is often used by my husband. I'm disabled, and my problems getting comfortable throughout the night would disturb his sleep, (and be grouchy in work the following day), so it's the perfect solution!

He sounds utterly repugnant.

Are you planning on remaining married to someone so selfish and unattractive?

I'm sure you can do better.

YABU to want to remain married to him.

💐

YANBU. He's lucky you don't throw him out. Personally I couldn't be with someone who clearly has zero respect for me. Sleep is very important and he doesn't give two hoots if he's disturbing you. Not to mention the passive smoking! And he's got the cheek to moan about you!!

I hate people that complain about you not sharing a bed with them when they can sleep through anything yet disturb you. Quite bluntly your sleep is more important than his wanting you there and he is incredibly selfish if he can’t see this. Who would want their partner to not get enough sleep - only a total fuckwit.

I slept in the spare room the last two nights. Once because DH was snoring and the mattress is better for my back which was aching and last night because the noise of the high wind round our dormer window was awful. DH stayed in our but I went to spare room we texted each other as we were a floor apart lol.

How can you stay with someone who’s so selfish? Smokes in your bedroom? Smoking in the house would be a huge no for me.

He sounds vile.

Does he admit that he doesn’t like you and has no consideration for your feelings or comfort?

Yanbu, my husband behaves like this too, he has adhd and insomnia so he's not purposely being selfish but we sleep separately and its much better.

He smokes in your bedroom (massive fire risk) with the windows shut?

Are your children upstairs asleep? Has he heard that passive smoking causes lung cancer

Does he care at all about the health of you/children at all?

What a selfish prick.

Totally selfish
The TV and snoring are bad enough.
As for the smoking how disgusting can he get.

Yuck! Why does he think you are the bad one for sleeping in the spare room? He sounds utterly unappealing

He smokes in the bedroom?!
Smoking in my house would be a deal breaker let alone in my bedroom. Why are you with him?? He sounds repulsive.