To ask what you are supposed to do

[drspouse]

DS has an EHCP.
It's not very good and we have a tribunal coming up.
He has some challenging behaviour. We admit this and we are doing our best.
He moved school in Sept after we looked at 8 new schools, including 4 special schools.
The new school has just permanently excluded him. They have not tried all the suggestions of EP, OT etc and we know this is illegal but it doesn't help with the fact that he now has no school.
They are suggesting he goes to the PRU. I'm sure it's very nice but he has only just started to settle at the new school.
He's 8, in year 3, and loves to play with his teddies. We were told some of the older children at the SEMH schools we looked at had pulled knives on teachers. If there's any child like that at the PRU it will break him.
We both work, I've just been told I can't reduce my hours any further and DH has just started a secondment which will be for a year. The PRU has no after school club. We both have meetings at any/every hour of the working day. Giving up either of our jobs is not an option.
So we can't HE (and we don't want to, and we shouldn't have to, and it would be awful for DS).
What are parents of a child with SEN actually supposed to do? Is the idea that we are both supposed to sit at home with our child and keep him away from other children/schools/the public? Are we not supposed to work? Is the country going to pay us our (fairly high, which is partly why we aren't giving up work) salary for not working?
Note before you suggest it: yes we know we can look at out of area schools. We did, they are included in the ones above. We live quite rurally. We can't move (I have tried to move jobs for years). But we need school for DS NOW. Not in 6 months time after we've moved/fought for a private school place (there are none suitable anyway)/I've lost my job.

[drspouse]

This is the plan, but apart from getting back at school, it doesn't actually get anything for DS who is the important one here.

[drspouse]

(Except that he won't have it on his record, but that's no help to him right now).

[JemimaPuddleCat]

How did his first day go? Is it the PRU he was attending yesterday?

[drspouse]

He was, apparently it was OK but he's obviously unsettled.

[JemimaPuddleCat]

OK is good. Sometimes it's better than we hope for! What sort of feedback are you receiving from staff?

[drspouse]

Mixed, but understanding (i.e. the kind of feedback a trained TA at the old school should have provided, not just "he was awful", I'm paraphrasing here).

[vickibee]

Hopefully your DS will get the support he needs now in the new setting

[yogo]

I'm an SEN TA within a private setting and work really hard to ensure all plans are followed and that the children I work with are happy and achieve. I hope I make a difference.

I hope your DS settles now and that you have some peace too

[drspouse]

The problem is that even if it's the perfect setting, he shouldn't be there as his only school, and they don't have TAs to send with him wherever he goes, and they are doubtful of getting one.

[Equanimitas]

Does the EHCP provide for him to have a 1:1 TA? If so, the LA will have to ensure that one is made available.

[jellycatspyjamas]

That’s all well and good but if there isn’t a TA with the skill, expertise and training to support the OPs son’s needs the local authority have their hands tied to some extent. The funding might be in place but the personnel just not be available.

[Equanimitas]

There are such things as supply agencies.

[drspouse]

Indeed there are but the first TA the school employed was a qualified teacher from a supply agency with SENCO experience who left when she restrained him and he got upset and hurt her.

[MyNewBearTotoro]

I’m sorry this sounds very difficult. My son is at a special school for children with leading difficulties but he has extremely challenging behaviour and will bite, kick, hit, scratch etc. If the adult moves away he will self harm so you can’t just step away and give him space. His staff struggle to cope and there are days I’m called to collect him early because they have nobody who is confident to manage him. He’s only 4 and I’m scared that when he gets bigger they will say they can’t manage him. It is difficult when there aren’t enough highly skilled TAs, there seems to be a lot of staff turnover at my sons school.

I hope the PRU will be a good interim placement for your son and that they’ll be able to teach him some strategies which can be brought to his next school.

[drspouse]

Quick update, not surprisingly the governors didn't overturn "their" HT decision despite clear evidence the school were not implementing either his EHCP or the recommendations of the specialist school.

So I guess a disability discrimination tribunal is the next step.

I am aware there are numerous posters on this thread who think a) my DS doesn't deserve an education at all b) if he does they shouldn't have to pay for it c) if he does it should be far, far away from their DC.
But their DC will grow up and will have to live and work with people who have disabilities. Presumably they want their DC to learn compassion, and how to get along with a variety of people. And my DS deserves an education (and is legally entitled to one) that meets ALL his needs including social.

The other DC at my DS school happily played with him at Beavers (and the one who's at his Cubs that he now goes to was asking sadly "why isn't DS at school any more?"). It was only the parents that had a problem (and the teachers that were anxious; and they were given loads of advice on how to handle him, and the teachers at the PRU have been great with him so far, even on a couple of quite difficult days, doing exactly what we said and what they told the school).

[WingingItSince1973]

Am so so sorry at this outcome. Would you be able to appeal? Though I would be anxious sending him back to a school that clearly isnt on your or your sons side. My gs had a rough morning at school (he just does half days due to his meltdowns) I'm hoping the school will stick to their agreement to keep working with us while we await an appointment with paediatrician although we all agree what could be his problems. I'm so sorry you have to fight. There are so many children that need extra help and its unfair they get penalised for something that isnt their fault. Xx

[drspouse]

I think the disability discrimination tribunal constitutes an appeal?

We do want this overturned because it's not fair to him to have it on his record (though the current school team is not at all on his side).

[rose69]

The appeal against the exclusion would be to the local authority education appeal panel. Separate issue to the disability discrimination

[drspouse]

The disability discrimination case also has reinstatement as its possible outcome.
As it turns out, our EHCP tribunal is due to be held on the deadline for the appeal and we have decided it's better to go into the discrimination case with the EHCP properly finalised.

[drspouse]

Update: not surprisingly given that the specialist teachers know how to do their job, when they implement their own strategies (exactly what they told school to do) he is calm, able to take himself off to regulate when necessary, and learning well. Some of the things that they do with him that work were their suggestions (that the school PAID THEM TO MAKE) and some were actually in his EHCP.

My impression is that he responds better, in fact, than many of the other children in the PRU. It has been a bit of a shock for him though being around other children who, unlike him, are not particularly motivated to please adults (he IS motivated to please adults, if they are not mismanaging him).

We have a meeting, probably next week, to try and work out where he can go next.
I'm just petrified that anywhere else will be as bad.
The EHCP isn't finalised yet but we are digging in our heels for the last few bits and we have been made aware from both the PRU and the SEND team at the LEA that it's hard to find qualified TAs... to which we have said, why can't you train someone?