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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Opting out of organ donation

999 replies

ringme · 10/01/2020 16:38

So the law has changed and this spring the NHS will consider you to be an organ donor automatically if you don’t opt out. I haven’t had a chance to really consider this all yet, WIBU to opt out at this stage until I have time to think about it or is that a selfish move given that 408 people died last year waiting for a donor?

What will you be doing?

www.organdonation.nhs.uk/helping-you-to-decide/about-organ-donation/faq/what-is-the-opt-out-system

OP posts:
CoffeeConnoiseur · 10/01/2020 18:15

Thanks OP, I've just opted out.

I'll be reiterating to my DH and DS that they should do whatever they want to, and whatever they feel will be easiest for them, if the unthinkable happens.

My DH is the same - he's stated that he'd like to be a donor if possible, but if DS and I feel that we can't go through with that, he would prefer we only do what we feel able to.

CoffeeConnoiseur · 10/01/2020 18:15

*in terms of consenting for each other's organs to be harvested.

PurpleDaisies · 10/01/2020 18:16

If someone and their family allow their organs to be used to help others that is wonderful, but it should not be compulsory!

It isn’t compulsory. The family have the final say and it’s easy to opt out.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/01/2020 18:17

I don’t intend to opt out. I am conflicted about donating my organs because I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain but apparently I am able. I started carrying a donor card when I was a student.

PurpleDaisies · 10/01/2020 18:17

I would be interested to know how they are going to stop unscrupulous people abusing the system when they couldn't do this when it was opt in?

How do you think unscrupulous people would abuse the system?

WorraLiberty · 10/01/2020 18:18

I will be really REALLY fucking cross if they don't use every possible bit of me when I'm dead.

Are you going to send an angry Tweet from the 'other side' ShinyMe? Grin Grin

MGC31 · 10/01/2020 18:20

The family have NO legal right to refuse donation if the patient is registered as a donor.

Since2016 · 10/01/2020 18:21

I think the automatic opt in is a good idea. I’ve already opted in (and done so for my kids). If one of my two needed a donor I’d like to think someone else would be able to make the same decision and vice versa.

PurpleDaisies · 10/01/2020 18:21

The family have NO legal right to refuse donation if the patient is registered as a donor.

Can you provide sone evidence that this is the case?

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/01/2020 18:21

I'll be opting out on principle.

Formerbabe. I hope then that in the unfortunate circumstances of either you or one of your children needing a donated organ that you will also opt out of accepting one on principle.

DimplesMcGee · 10/01/2020 18:22

But my back up university is Cambridge

I know it’s a serious topic, but this made me chuckle... “I’ve got offers from Manchester and Cambridge - Manchester is my first choice, and if I don’t get in, there’s always Cambridge - my safety school”.

Totally agree with the people saying that if you’re bloody-minded and selfish enough to opt out on some kind of stupid misguided principle, you shouldn’t be allowed to receive an organ yourself.

Meruem · 10/01/2020 18:22

Whatever I decide it's my body, my choice. As it should be with everyone else. To think less of people because they choose to opt out is wrong. Everyone has to do what is right for them. It doesn't matter what peoples reasons are.

SunshineCake · 10/01/2020 18:23

I know that is what happens @MGC31 which is why I asked in case the poster didn't.

formerbabe · 10/01/2020 18:24

Formerbabe. I hope then that in the unfortunate circumstances of either you or one of your children needing a donated organ that you will also opt out of accepting one on principle

You think this kind of question is clever but it's not. I'd donate and accept a donation. That's not the issue. The issue is I'm against presumed consent.

Doggodogington · 10/01/2020 18:24

Opting out on principle.....Hmm
People may die because of your principles but you’ll be dead so you won’t care either way. Pretty pathetic.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/01/2020 18:24

Personally I am opt in, I signed my kidney donor card that arrived with my Driving Licence back in 1984 when I was 18yo.
Since been updated to a general donor .

I have given blood but had to stop after DD (low iron)

Unfortunately giving blood is now really difficult - it is pre-book , no walk ins and the only days they do within a 20 mile radius is my working days .

But , I had a blood transfusion - which means I should be happy to give blood but currently unable to do so.

My DS (20) is a blood donor . I heard today that only males blood can be given to babies - why is that so?

I have booked up his donation appointment (he grumbles but he'll get biscuits!)

I am happy for everyone in my family to donate (organs ) if that is what they want .

NewYearNewWho · 10/01/2020 18:25

Not read the full thread, but my watching my sister deteriorate and eventually die waiting for a kidney is not something I would wish on anyone. I really do not understand what there is to consider...

Doggodogington · 10/01/2020 18:26

It’s not presumed consent, by not opting out you have actively consented. It has been this way in Wales for ages, I know I could opt out, I have chosen not to, therefor I have consented.

MGC31 · 10/01/2020 18:27

@PurpleDaisies

“...it will be made clear that they do not have the legal right to veto or overrule your decision.”

From here
www.organdonation.nhs.uk/helping-you-to-decide/about-organ-donation/faq/consent/

ScarlettBlaize · 10/01/2020 18:27

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Not really, every time you choose to do something for yourself rather than someone in greater need, you're making someone else's life worse, which is totally selfish isnt it? Or does it all come down to personal choice?

The point is that when one person is dead, they don't have any needs. Or choices. Or wants.

Their organs could either be used to help someone else, or could rot/burn.

Justgorgeous · 10/01/2020 18:27

@randomchap hugs to you. ☹️

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 10/01/2020 18:27

I've been carrying a donor card since I was 18 - a long time ago. I struggle to think of any reason to not donate. I cannot imagine my needing my organs after death. Not being religious, I don't believe in any kind of resurrection of the dead - and even if I did, I'm pretty sure god (a) wouldn't be totally baffled about whether I was me or someone else because of some organ rearrangement; and (b) if necessary, could easily say "Shazam!" and sort it all out.

Most importantly, I love the idea of my death having some meaning by helping someone else live.

eminencegrise · 10/01/2020 18:27

I agree, Cuteypye.

formerbabe · 10/01/2020 18:27

People may die because of your principles but you’ll be dead so you won’t care either way. Pretty pathetic

Medical ethics is not pathetic

ScarlettBlaize · 10/01/2020 18:28

@CosmoK And there's me thinking we lived in a society The selfishness of some people never fails to surprise me.

I suspect that @formerbabe was a big fan of Mrs Thatcher and her 'there's no such thing as society' mantra.