ExH using daughter's room at his house

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Daughter is 16, stays at her dad's once or twice a week. Until recently she had her own room at her dad's house but he has recently moved in with his partner. They have converted what was previously a dining room into a bedroom for her and made it nice for her. My issue is that when she's not there, her dad sleeps in her bedroom as his new partner can't stand his snoring. I guess it's fair enough that she shouldn't have exclusive use of a bedroom when she's only there for one or two nights a week, but she went there last night to find he'd left snotty tissues and dirty glasses all over the place and basically left her room in a mess. He's full of 'man flu' and has clearly been using her room to slob around in. He never changes the sheets after he sleeps in her bed and if this isn't disgusting enough in itself his personal hygiene is not great. AIBU in thinking that a 16 year old girl should have her space respected and her room kept the way she left it the last time she stayed? At this rate she's going to stop going to see him as she's so pissed off with him.

Yes she raised it with him and he basically told her he'd spent the last 16 years clearing up her mess (he really hasn't - she's not messy and when we were together he didn't lift a finger to tidy anything up!) and so she should clear his mess up after him.

That's not really how parenting works. 😒

It's gross to leave her room in that state. YANBU.

and if the new partner is expecting, wont this room be needed eventually for the child.
the father's attitude shews a lack of basic respect for his daughter, maybe for females/others generally, which is sad, but perhaps no great loss then if she drifts away.
just as well that she is 16 not 6. nearly grown, will be launching out by herself soon anyway.

But as her mum I'm responsible for helping my daughter through difficult situations
Hmm, but is this a 'difficult situation' you are 'helping' your daughter through?
..as I said to her on the phone last night 'how would you feel if X (her stepdad, my husband) slept in your bedroom and left it in a mess and didn't change the sheets?'
I'm not sure why you need to be bitching on the phone about it with your daughter. She is perfectly justified in being upset with him leaving a mess but you fueling the fire doesn't really help at all. You're not the one she needs to complain to.

She's 16, she needs to manage the relationship with her father.

No - she phoned me to bitch about it. And I'm just pointing out the difference between a man who treats a woman with respect, and one who doesn't. Those of you who are telling me to butt out have clearly never had an abusive partner who then turns his abuse onto his child when you leave him.