about how he texts me?

[iyalove]

I started speaking to a man last year who I ended up dating for a bit, but I called it off because I moved to another city. All amicable.

He then started speaking to me before Christmas, and we resumed seeing each other, because I moved to a different (closer) location to work.

He would send multiple messages in one go and I would reply whenever I was available, definitely in 2 days.

He does the same.

However, this week he was been sending replies to the messages I sent last week sporadically. Say there was 15 messages

• He sent 5 Monday
• 5 Tuesday
• 2 Wednesday
• 3 Thursday

... and waiting for a reply to the last 6!

He says he's very busy with work - but so I am.

AIBU to think sending out messages one by one is a bit odd?

that's just how some people text, I don't know why everyone makes a big deal of it

Are they 6 messages all completely split out through the day saying similar things, or are they sent in quick succession like he's typing as he thinks?

So he sent me 15 messages for example over one day about the same topic.

I then reply within 2 days answering his questions.

He then replies to the replies over 6 days !

But in the replies he says he's read what I've sent over etc and had been re reading them

I just think it's odd

So is he repeating himself to chase you for an answer?

The re-reading sounds like he's nervous about saying the wrong thing

It's a bit odd but not necessarily a red flag. Personally if there were so many questions I'd answer them all in one go (or just all and have a chat). That said if he's busy and just replying as he has a moment then I wouldn't be offended.

Sounds like he's too busy to reply to them all at once, or is considering his replies carefully, hence the rereading of them.

What's the problem with replying over 6 days? I don't really understand tbh.

I don’t think his texting sounds any weirder than yours to be honest. Your clearly both people who’ll reply when they’re ready. Sounds like he’s realised he has a backlog and wants to respond properly rather than ignore them or send something vague. If it annoys you wait before sending more. From his point of view he hasn’t replied to this batch before you’ve moved the conversation on without him.

Well what do you want him to do? He's replying to the batch of messages he sent you. Maybe replying to each one individually helps him make sure he doesn't miss one.
If you don't want him to do it send him one and wait until he replies.

Tbh I think it's odd you're dating but can take upto 2 days to reply to a text. How often do you chat on the phone or see each other?

@GiveHerHellFromUs

No he replies to my replies to him I meant

Good god, no one needs this kind of nonsense. It doesn't sound like either of you are very interested in each other.

Why don't you just pick up the phone and do that good old fashioned thing of talking? Texts and email inevitably restricts lots of aspects of communication.

Ah i don't think he's being weird then.

Maybe you should just have proper conversations in person or over the phone and keep texting to a minimum if it's an issue.

I think you’re both strange with texting. When I met DH we texted each other all the time because we were excited about each other.

You are not excited about him and taking two days to reply to a text is just bloody odd 😳

The texts we send aren't small talk. They're long messages About specific topics.

We always let each other know there will be a delay replying because of xyz

It would take 2 hours ish in one go to reply to all the tests

That's how long it took when we were first dating!

Should I just tell him it's not worth it then?

The way you're posting shows us exactly how you text

Well are you happy with the way things are or not?

🙄 this isn't a deal breaker is it

The texts we send aren't small talk. They're long messages About specific topics

That's your problem imo, texts are for small talk. People use their phones in different ways,you can't possibly read anything into the way he uses his. My dh is monosyllabic on his phone, means nothing apart from the fact he hates texting. Get to know him face to face and leave texting for small talk or arrangements.

I wouldn't enjoy texting with either one of you to be honest! Why does a long message take two hours to reply to? Might be better to go to email if you're going to have that kind of heavy conversation :D

I mean yes.. his texting style sounds a bit odd, but so does yours. I wouldn't consider either a red flag necessarily. The real question is are YOU happy with it? I wouldn't be happy with either of you but it's not my opinion that counts here.

Why does a long message take two hours to reply to?

Because there are days when I haven't got time to scratch my arse let alone think up a reply that the recipient deems acceptable

When you text you have no idea what's happening in the other person's day.

I agree though, sounds like hard work and I wouldn't like to text either OP or new man

Can’t you just pick up the phone and talk to him when you’re not busy? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe just stick to one text at a time and wait for his reply. Seems like a odd relationship.

You both sound as bad as each other and it definitely sounds like there's some game playing happening.

Because there are days when I haven't got time to scratch my arse let alone think up a reply that the recipient deems acceptable Oh I assumed OP meant 2 hours all in one go to respond. I get it if it takes 2 hours to get around to making a reply - which should then take five mins max to type out!