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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's very unreasonable for school not to take my word DS is sick.

276 replies

VioletsArePurple · 09/01/2020 16:45

DS has been home sick (sore throat, fever, headache) for three days. I have emailed them each day to inform them he is ill. No response from them on day 1 or day 2. He's going back tomorrow. Today (day 3) I got I an email from school with the following text: "...Just wanted to check in regarding how XXX is doing and also from an attendance perspective. Our school policy around holidays is to mark a child as unauthorised absence unless we have medical evidence for their illness. I wonder if you have been to the GP or hospital and if you have any evidence of this or a prescription bottle you could email us a photo of so I can change his attendance to illness once he comes back in."

AS it happens I was at the GP this afternoon for an appointment for me. And behind reception there was a sign stating:

SICK NOTES FOR SCHOOL ABSENCE
Your GP does not provide this information.
Please do not book an appointment.
A school should accept a note from the child's parent or guardian.
Speak to reception for further information.

Now, I should point out I actually love our school. But this email annoyed me. They have no idea how much I was looking forward to the first day of school. They can have DS all of next break to make up for it if they like.

OP posts:
minielise · 09/01/2020 18:13

Although the school seem like they are being ridiculous, they are judged on numbers rather that reasons. I’m a teacher and it’s ridiculous, we had to chase up kids to see why there weren’t back the day after norovirus which then was making staff ill too!
If they can’t evidence it to ofsted through doctors notes they put it as unauthorised and then can be seen to be chasing it up that way as it looks like they are preparing to prosecute you if it carries on. It’s not the teachers fault, they are under so much pressure from above (above the head) that they have to do it.
If they don’t and the school ends up being classed as inadequate it gets stuck in a cycle of not being able to recruit decent teachers because it has a bad rep and then gets worse. Fair enough if the lessons are crap it should be inadequate but in my eyes kids not being in school can’t be controlled by the teachers.

VivaLeBeaver · 09/01/2020 18:15

I think it's terrible.

As an adult you're allowed to self certify for 7 days - bonkers that school seems to think they can insist on a doctors note for a child for less time off. Someone needs to be held to account for such policies. If it's not the school, it's the LEA?

Merryoldgoat · 09/01/2020 18:18

Take a pic of him at home holding today’s paper.

Like a kidknapper.

BoxedWine · 09/01/2020 18:23

The school's actions are simply unjustifiable.

Drabarni · 09/01/2020 18:25

It's another case of government control, just ignore it and stick two fingers up to the whole system, you can't change it.
Staff in schools understand the problem, many are parents themselves.
Everyone with kids in state schools need to make a stand, contact your mp's, it won't change what gov decide to do.

FamilyOfAliens · 09/01/2020 18:26

@Drabarni

I must say you sound like a nice, level-headed, easy-going sort of person, who isn’t prone to over-reaction Grin

Halleli · 09/01/2020 18:29

Do they think there are enough GP appointments for every child with a contagious but self-limiting illness to have one?

It's extremely selfish of schools to try and put this pressure on GP surgeries.

Laiste · 09/01/2020 18:31

Have you got a land line OP? Just get the school to ring you at home.

Mind you personally i wouldn't sink to getting involved in proving i wasn't on holiday. The whole concept is ridiculous!

Emmelina · 09/01/2020 18:32

Not read the full thread, but has he been back at all since Christmas? It could be if they’ve not seen him since last term they suspect you’re sunning it up somewhere and not back yet! Not uncommon at beginning/end of school breaks.
I’d take a photo of sign at GP and send it. Say “Tried, couldn’t. Will continue to update with his wellness.”

Halleli · 09/01/2020 18:32

GPs' surgeries are of course busy but it has become a cottage industry in some charging for letters, passport verification and so on.

GPs don't verify passport photos anymore.

jellycatspyjamas · 09/01/2020 18:35

In fairness @BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou, if schools didn’t have such ridiculous attendance policies, there would be no need for lying.

I’m in Scotland. We took our two out of school 3 days before October week - I emailed the HT the day before to say that’s what we were doing and her reply was “i hope you all have a fantastic time, I look forward to hearing DS and DD telling me all about their adventures”. No lies, no telling off and no bloody fine, attendance measures etc - my kids had a good time and we maintain a good relationship with the school who save attendance management for those pupils who’s attendance is problematic.

If only schools (and Ofsted) took a such sensible approach to occasional absence.

Ummusomebody · 09/01/2020 18:38

Exactly @HAlleli. GPs are not allowed by the passport office to verify anymore. This was simply because there was not enough time to do this along with other mandatory letters they have to do. Most GPs end up working a minimum of 1 hour extra each day unpaid to keep on top of paperwork. You will be surprised by the number of things GPs are asked to do like write letters for less than 7 days off work despite dwp saying self certify, asking for letters to support housing etc even though they really no longer count.
So it's unfair to not just the GP but the child and parents to be dragged to see a GP with a self limiting disease so they can get an appointment card. Especially as everyone is every complaining of the times they waited to get an appointment in teh first instance.

Jux · 09/01/2020 18:50

Our surgery will write a letter but they charge. When dd needed one, the gp hand wrote it there and then and that wasn't charged. If he'd done an official one through the system then he would have had to charge.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2020 18:58

They’re not saying they don’t believe you

They are, though. The word 'unauthorised' is very loaded and carries with it the strong implication that you've either not given them an explanation at all or that you have and they've rejected/disbelieved it.

If your husband asked to look at your phone 'just to check' that you were indeed talking to your sister for an hour, as you told him, and not some invented 'fancy man' - before he could make a mental note to change his assumption of 'planning an affair' to 'chatting with family' - would you think that he was just wanting to verify that all was in order, or might you possibly think that he didn't believe/trust you?

Letsnotusemyname · 09/01/2020 19:07

Next time your DC is sick send in a photo of the diced carrots.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 09/01/2020 19:08

@BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou, you need up your game and request your Annual Leave is reinstated, as you were sick for that time period

A. It’s a school I don’t get annual leave.
B. I’ve only had one day off sick in the last five years anyway....

ButtonandPickle19 · 09/01/2020 19:11

I can see why they would be dubious straight after a school holiday. Legally you can self certify for up to 5 days but I can see why they would ask

itsgettingweird · 09/01/2020 19:11

Lemon. iMe dr and dentist surgeries have small bits of paper (not an official card in all cases!) where they right the go name and time of appointment. I guess if you ask for one for your appointment time (even as you attend or after) they would do this? Maybe it's something my local go and dental surgeries do and many have stopped now the text messages are sent? Mind you even the text is proof!
I'm really lazy. When my ds has an appointment with one of his many consultants I screen shot the test and just email it to school office Blush

I never get asked about my ds absences because they know I work in education and so cannot have swanned off somewhere nice during term time Grin

itsgettingweird · 09/01/2020 19:12

I'll also add illness and viruses are ripe. I have a very small class due to being sen Ed. We haven't had them all in since the last Monday of term! So far this week we've had 2/3 off each day.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 09/01/2020 19:16

*Mind you even the text is proof!
I'm really lazy. When my ds has an appointment with one of his many consultants I screen shot the test and just email it to school office blush *

We definitely accept sight of a text as evidence of an appointment.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2020 19:16

They make gross assumptions that, if a child is off for a few days before or after a holiday, that's pretty much evidence that they're extending their holiday.

Doubtless some are, but it never seems to occur to them that the child might just get an illness that then continues into the beginning of their holidays or have already been ill at the end of their holidays and are not yet better by the time school begins again.

So not only do you lose several days of your precious school holiday to illness, but you then get accused of extending your holiday when you've actually effectively lost some of the days off that you were already fully entitled to.

Even if that isn't the case, an illness can begin on any day at all, regardless of how close it may or may not be to a school holiday.

I agree with a PP: if they feel the need to disbelieve you and gain evidence for your claims, they need to put themselves out to do it and not a random third party. If you asked them to send a member of staff to bring the missed work to your home, to enable your child to catch up, they'd react incredulously and make it explicitly clear that they certainly don't have the resources for that - and would probably berate you for even asking; but somehow, your GP, who is not involved as his/her job is to treat patients who actually need to see him/her, and not those with transient colds or bugs, apparently does have the resources to have their time wasted with an unnecessary appointment.

If your condition is such that you don't need to see a GP, why don't they ask you to get a note from your local greengrocers or library - after all, they have just as much relevance to the situation.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2020 19:18

Next time your DC is sick send in a photo of the diced carrots.

Even better, a short video of them being 'produced'....

Piggywaspushed · 09/01/2020 19:46

GPs don't verify passport photos anymore.

They don't?

Blimey, I wish I had someone standing up for me in this way! (I am aware doctors have a shit workload ; it was an ironic statement) but I must average 10-20 passport forms a year.

Piggywaspushed · 09/01/2020 19:48

jux, that definitely used to happen loads. I used to get lots of scribbled on a prescription pad letters from doctors.

ViaSacra · 09/01/2020 19:53

@Piggywaspushed

If I recall correctly, the government didn’t make the change to lessen our workload, but because they were worried GPs were signing to verify the identity of patients that we didn’t know well enough.

Which is true - the vast majority of patients for who I am their named GP I have either never met, or have only seen once or twice in the past five years.

We can still countersign photos for people who we know personally (I.e. not patients).