Holiday Kids Club

[cjt110]

We are off on holiday in August and the place we have chosen has a fantastic kids club. We've only done 1 kids club before and it was quite poor - very unorganised, someone who spoke little English and didn't really have a schedule set for the children.

This place looks brilliant and boasts qualified staff, endless activities etc.

I was telling my Mum about it and she said "well, as long as he spends some time with you"

I was a little put out by that comment. Afterall, we will be holidaying as a family. If he chooses to go to the kids club daily and is happy then that's fine by us. Rather than than him wanting to go, us refusing and us all having a miserable time. The same if he didn't want to go and wanted to stay with us... we would never force him to do the opposite of what he wants.

So I suppose my question is... If DS (who will b aged 6) wants to spend his time at the kids club rather than with us, are we bad parents? We will of course be with him morning, evening and nighttime for meals if he is at the kids club.

YABU - Yes, allowing him to go to a kids club all day if he chooses is a bad thing and he should be limited with his access.

YANBU - No, let him go if he chooses to, it's fine.

If someone saying something as innocuous as "We tend to view holidays as family time" seems like a personal criticism then I think maybe you need to reflect on why you feel that way.

oh you said a LOT more than that! You do realise people can go back and read everything you posted don't you? Because it seems like you don't.

I don't really understand the point of going abroad as a family just to send your kid to poor quality child care though.

You really can't see why this comment was viewed as judgmental? ( and incredibly ill-informed)If someone saying something as innocuous as "We tend to view holidays as family time" seems like a personal criticism then I think maybe you need to reflect on why you feel that way.

it's not innocuous though is it? it's a loaded statement and you know it is. It suggests that those people who choose to use kids club don't value family time as much as those that don't. Obviously that isn't true.
I really haven't taken this as a personal criticism ...i'm secure in my parenting choices. Kids clubs are great providing the kids are happy and safe. Not all kids are interested but lots are...they're popular for a reason and that reason isn't necessarily because the parents want to dump the kids in childcare.
I have a friend who refuses to use kids clubs on principle - despite her kids asking to go. She comes home off holiday more stressed and exhausted than before she went because she's had absolutely no chance to switch off and relax.

I'm perfectly happy for people to read my posts Wendy. That is the point of posting on MN is it not? I was responding directly to a specific point another poster made.

Cosmo I'm sorry you feel I was criticising your choices. I do genuinely have concerns about the safety of some kids clubs and I do personally enjoy the opportunity to spend quality time with my kids on holiday. Given you're secure in your parenting choices I'm sure we can agree to have differing views on the topic.

I do personally enjoy the opportunity to spend quality time with my kids on holiday.

As do I!!! Just because I use a kids club for two hours doesn't mean I don't enjoy spending quality time with my son. You do understand that surely because you keep saying this and it sounds like you're suggesting that those who use kids clubs don't value family time.

Great. When you say you enjoy spending quality time with your kids, I don't assume it's a personal attack or a veiled criticism of me. You're looking for an insult where none exists and if you're perfectly comfortable with your choices then I have no idea why that is.

If you don't mean to judge or insult then fair enough but it does come across like that......

I'm incredibly secure in my parenting choices and your comments have just made me roll my eyes a little. They've certainly not made me question any decision i've made.

Would you care to explain why my comments have "made you roll your eyes a little" or do you prefer to just be generally rude?

Would you care to explain why my comments have "made you roll your eyes a little" or do you prefer to just be generally rude?

I always roll my eyes at people who judge other peoples parenting choices and try to act all superior.
If you had just said that you don't choose to use kids clubs as your children have never been interested that would have been fine but you couldn't just say that......firstly you assumed that parents using kids club are choosing to put their kids in sub -par and potentially dangerous childcare then you qualify every statement with ' I value family time on holiday' with the insinuation that those who use kids clubs don't.
Those two points alone deserve massive eye rolls!

You're backtracking and being quite manipulative @Cohle. You said a lot more than that. You said posters didn't care about the well being of their children and were happy to use low quality childcare so long as they got some free time, and you positioned yourself as a better more caring parent because you wouldn't do that. Now you're implying that posters must be feeling defensive and unhappy with their selfish choices to have taken your oh so innocuous comments out of context. Again, do you not realise your previous comments can still be read?

Would you care to explain why my comments have "made you roll your eyes a little" or do you prefer to just be generally rude?

Where has @Cohle been rude?! Quote? Stop making things up.

How old is ‘too old’ for a holiday club? We’ve been on Neilson activity holidays & my 17 year old loved the ‘clubs’. Just a group of 16/17 year olds with a 20 year old leader gently supporting & encouraging them, they had a great time together & all met up when back in the UK. Many clubs are really awesome with great activities. Much more fun than hanging out with parents .

On a serious note though, it is do important to respect that people choose to parent differently. There is enough guilt and judgement thrown at women in particular about their parenting choices as it is. We should be supporting not criticising.

*so

firstly you assumed that parents using kids club are choosing to put their kids in sub -par and potentially dangerous childcare then you qualify every statement with ' I value family time on holiday' with the insinuation that those who use kids clubs don't.

Well yes, I do think a large number of kids clubs are "sub-par" from a safety perspective. You're welcome to disagree and obviously there are many that are fine. Not sure why that's worthy of eye rolling.

As for valuing family time on holiday I really can't help if you keep choosing to infer personal criticism where none existed or was intended. Only you know why you're so touchy about that issue.

🙄

@Ragwort that sounds great for teens better than them congregating on the beach with a bottle of Smirnoff ! 😂
My family stopped the sort of all inclusive pool holidays when I was about 12 and we started going to Keycamp type holidays and there were clubs for all ages up for about 16/17 - they were mainly just a cabin type thing with games etc to hang about in or we would go to the pool together or a keycamp worker would take us to do mini golf, paintball, play football etc

And only you know why you're refusing to register that I'm not touchy about it. I just hate seeing women judge other parents for the choices they make. You know how that comment can be interpreted and you are choosing to stand by it.

Maybe I need to stop skirting around the subject.
Do you believe that parents who use kids clubs value family time less than those who don't?

Because that's what your comments suggest so here's a chance to make your position clear.

I think there is too much judgment about other’s parenting choices without having sufficient information. I agree, we should be supportive of each other.

I was on a trip to Venice whilst pg with #2. DH and I travelled with my MIL and the agreement was that she would babysit DD16 months for 1-2 hours per day so DH and I could have a meal, a walk or a coffee alone. As we were leaving the hotel room, DD was really unhappy about getting out of the bath and screamed with rage. An English lady looked me and DH up and down, gave a fake smile and said “good luck with the baby sitter”. I said “given that it is her grandmother, she just is having a tantrum about leaving the bath and that we will be back in about an hour I think we will be ok, thank you”. She was very apologetic, but I was so cross. SO unnecessary!!!

We've been on a couple of cruises and I know they're not for everyone but they had teen clubs age 14-17 on there which are set up like exclusive clubs. Everything except the alcohol! So juice bars and mocktail stations and on one there was a small pool/hot tub sunbathing area. There's crew members hovering around discreetly keeping an eye on things. Console areas too. Dart boards, Fussball. Ice breakers on the first day means they make friends etc. I just can't see how at that age, Spending Time Together As A Family can be virtuously presented as a more valuable option. It's a great experience for them.

I think kids club is definitely a good idea if you are going on a beach holiday. Personally we don't do that kind of holiday, I would be bored rigid sitting around a pool all day, I certainly wouldn't expect my kids to do it! We tend to go on holidays where we are sightseeing everyday so obviously the kids come with us. We have done centre parcs and the likes which probably has these clubs but it didn't interest us, maybe its because we both work that we couldn't imagine time away from the kids everyday on holiday. I couldn't care less whether or not other people use these clubs though and you shouldn't feel bad if its what works best for your family. We do what feels right to us just as you should do what feels right to you.

Our perfect holiday is mixture of all those things. Throughout the year we holiday a lot in the UK and do some short haul city breaks. When we do a beach holiday we always pick somewhere close to towns and villages so we can go exploring and see some of the country but we do like a few lazy days by a pool and these are the days when kids clubs are perfect as it means DS has a couple of hours out of the sun but is entertained and we get a rest/chance to read/have a drink/have sex. It works for us and is what we'll do until someone is unhappy about the situation.

Good god, just vchecked in on this thread. what a bun fight it has turned out to be.

If anyone read the OP properly, nowhere did I say we sought out the holiday for thr kids club and nor dod I say we were sticking him in a kids club. I asked and I quote from my OP *If he chooses to go to the kids club daily and is happy then that's fine by us. Rather than than him wanting to go, us refusing and us all having a miserable time. The same if he didn't want to go and wanted to stay with us... we would never force him to do the opposite of what he wants.

So I suppose my question is... If DS (who will b aged 6) wants to spend his time at the kids club rather than with us, are we bad parents? We will of course be with him morning, evening and nighttime for meals if he is at the kids club.*

It is purely if he wants to go and the question was if he wanted to go all day, is that a bad thing. Not if we decided to stick him in a kids club all day. If he asked to go....

Goodness.

Here is where we will be staying. So beach fun, watersport activities, pool and a fasntastic kids club with registered child minders who have all the relevant checks.

When he went to one in Cyprus... his choice... we had an eye on him all the time as we were at the pool and he was at the opposite side playing games.

Of course it doesn't make you a bad parent.
It looks fab!

I can understand your mums comment and would feel similar.

Family holidays for us are about spending time together, never even look at kids clubs and haven’t used them. We pick places where there is plenty for them to do. They make new friends without going into childcare.