Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

[Boyscandoballettoo]

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

Personally I was glad when dd gave up ballet as I hated sitting indoors and watching, ditto swimming. Also the atmosphere was pretty toxic.

I wouldn't consider dance a sport either and not sure why that's a big deal. It's more than a sport really, it's an art form all of it's own. My dcs loved team sports more than individual ones in the end.

Why did you decide on ballet as a class for him

And why don’t people ask the parents of girls this? I can’t imagine many 18 months old female children ask to do ballet either.

plus my husband who is very sporty would rather he did an actual sport

A kid who does ballet alongside "real" sports will have a massive advantage. Discipline, spatial awareness, flexibility, strength, fast twitch development, injury prevention....there's a reason many professional athletes take dance, and also why pilates has become popular- it used to be mainly a dancer rehab activity.

I danced and it provided a massive groundset- I was able to pick up pretty much any sport instantly, and be better than average. I was also able to follow an instruction and process it easily- plus I learned a lot of French as ballet vocal is almost exclusively french. Even later in life on the disco floor ballet training showed- and now I'm middle aged sports like skiing, surfing still come relatively easily.

When I had kid the one thing was that they all did ballet.

@mermaidbunny Just Wow! Congratulations to you and your DS.
You deserve at least some of the credit for helping him to achieve so much, its blooming exhausting taking them to rehearsals and auditions. Not to mention the expense of all those ballet shoes.

Watch Matthew Bourne's version of Swan Lake for inspiration around boy's ballet

Don't give any headspace time people who are just wrong.

I think its fine not to like ballet! I didn't particularly want my dds to do it, too pink and sparkly and emphasis on looks (where we were). One of them loved it though so I was stuck with it until grade 7. Kids should just do what they enjoy.

My 7 year old son goes to ballet, and yes, I did push him a bit and insist he went when some little turd at school told him it was ‘stupid’ and ‘for girls’ and he ‘never wanted to go again.’

It was partly to prove a point if I’m honest but mainly because I know him and knew he’d love it. He’s been dancing since he could walk and I chose ballet as it’s great for learning the basics of dance. And he does indeed love it, and quite likes being the only boy!

If he wants to give it up when he’s older and can give a considered decision then fine, but when he was 5 I did override him.

Override? Do I mean overrule? 🤔

I think its fine not to like ballet!

Of course. It just isn't OK to laugh at or about a tiny child and their parents for doing it.

No of course not but you can't control what other people do, just your reaction to it.

depends why you send him to a ballet class. is it because you appreciate it as an art, or think it is beneficial for health, or are you trying to push some gender agenda here (because there are plenty of people who do)

How much actual ballet can he possibly be doing?? He's 18 months old! Dd couldn't walk at 18 months!

No of course not but you can't control what other people do, just your reaction to it

You can certainly challenge them on it rather than letting tired views surrounding everyday sexism persist!

Don't expect the rest of the world to work to your standards though, not everyone is so enlightened.

They're just rude to make sneery comments, tho, especially if the little boy knows what they're saying.

They deserve a swift putdown.

It’s not about how much ballet he is doing. He loves music, he loves dancing and he loves the music from a couple of
Ballets and dances along to them, so I thought it a fun class to try! It’s also Great Becuase he is Not good ar sitting still
Or following instructions but as we have started early he will
Follow what everyone else is doing at some point at learn to follow instructions too.

Plus I bloody love ballet. I did it until I was given the choice between ballet or a pony and I chose the pony!

I’m not reacting to any comments in front of DS.

Dd couldn't walk at 18 months!

So?! DS has been walking since he was 11 months old and loves to run and dance and move his body.

depends why you send him to a ballet class. is it because you appreciate it as an art, or think it is beneficial for health, or are you trying to push some gender agenda here (because there are plenty of people who do)

And so what if there is an agenda? And how is sending an 18 month to a baby ballet class "pushing a gender agenda". Even if the parents send him because they do want to challenge gender stereotypes how is that a bad thing?

TBH if I had had a son I would have sent him to ballet- for the reasons I posted above and with half an eye on an agenda- I'd have been ready to challenge anyone who made any "for girls" comments.

The kid's 18 months old. Agenda or not it will be a beneficial activity for him, he may grow to love it, he may move on to other sports but ballet will give him a great physical grounding.

Disappointingly most people are still living in the 1930's...

It is very sad that this attitude continues however I do think this is broader than just ballet - boys don't seem to be allowed to be arty or do activities such as ballet without being labelled. It's born out of ignorance I'm afraid. I wonder if these people have ever actually been to see a real ballet.

Just a bit of ammunition, if you need any, the All Blacks spent time with NZ ballet to improve their game.

trainingground.guru/articles/all-blacks-get-boost-from-ballet

If the other parents are genuinely making unpleasant sneery comments about your ds, and the teacher isn't dealing with it, they why would you still take him or why not speak to them directly? If the comments are more along the lines of "oh look a little boy in a leotard!" or "oh a little boy thats unusual", its annoying but they'll get bored with it.

YANBU My DS(6) would love to do ballet and has asked several times. Unfortunately it's not an option where we live. He's doing street/break dance instead and is still the only boy in the class.

dd couldn't walk at 18 months!

Mine was walking independently at 9months and was a high speed tasmanian devil.

I put her in baby ballet as I thought it might slow her down and allow her to gain control and awareness of her body rather than just running full tilt at everything.

Also where on earth do you live? Even in my provincial back water, 20 years ago there were plenty of little toddler boys in the baby dance classes. They tended to drop out by primary school age.